Wednesday, March 29, 2017

There are Lies, Damned Lies and Juan Williams


If Mr. Williams' inability to tell the difference between legal and illegal immigrants is caused by a brain tumor, please rush him to the nearest hospital. If he is merely parroting the same Leftist talking points that conflate legal and illegal aliens, then he should be ashamed of himself.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

She was the kind of girl who wore dark lipstick and didn't need to speak a word to seduce you.




Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Proof In Charge

Your humble blogger will be on hiatus for the next two weeks.  While I’m enjoying the sun and fun at the beach, co-blogger and long-time friend Proof will be in complete charge of the joint.

Sophie The Wonderdog is looking forward to spending time with her little buddies Tika and Teddy and being spoiled rotten by my friend of 40+ years.

I put up a banner saluting the king of absurdity, Al Franken AKA Stuart Smalley.  He deserves to be mocked hard and often.  The banner is my contribution.

Proof has the keys to the liquor cabinet.  Go easy on the guy while I’m gone.  And don’t worry…I made sure the ladies for our regular Monday feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” are queued up. (I can’t afford to have Proof post another round of Star Trek babes.)

Take care.  See ya on the flip side.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

And…It’s Ruined

Come on, admit it.  Your brackets got busted when Northwestern beat Vandy.  Maybe your brackets survived but were later blown up when the Badgers kept ‘Nova out of the dance.

The NCAA says more than 99% of all brackets were busted by the end of the First Round.
Today’s games will complete the Round of 32 and will punch the remaining tickets to the Sweet 16. Will the Road to the Final Four be a regional matchup between my beloved Duke Blue Devils and those dastardly Tarheels of Carolina?  I’m banking on it.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hillary Clinton: "I'm Ready To Come Out Of The Woods"

The woods around Chappaqua have been filled with screaming and blame-tossing for the last four months as Granny Clinton searched for how it all went wrong. The unfortunate locals who wandered those forlorn acres have been terrorized by ominous piles of rocks and sinister twig figures reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project.

Speaking at a St. Patrick’s Day event in Scranton the sore loser said, “So, I was thinking, like OK, what do we do?  You know, walk in the woods.  You know you can only do so much of that. I’m ready to come out of the woods.”

The trees said, “Oh thank God. She never shuts up!”

I blame Hansel and Gretel for leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for her to follow.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Wave Your Tiny Arms In The Air

Monopoly® was created on March 19, 1935, when Parker Brothers acquired the rights to it and since then an estimated 1 billion people have weighed the merits of buying up utilities and railroads or trying to hit it big with Boardwalk hotels.
Hasbro who owns the rights to the board game announced today, “the boot has been booted, the wheelbarrow has been wheeled out and the thimble got the thumbs down."

In their place will be a tyrannosaurus rex dinosaur, a penguin and a rubber ducky.

I blame Russia for this!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Chelsea Clinton’s New Book: Daddy’s Cigar Is Missing Again

I kid. 

Former First Daughter and offspring of Web Hubbell (again I kid), Chelsea Mezvinsky (nee) Clinton has written a children’s picture book featuring the title She Persisted inspired by Sen. Elizabeth Warren who was punished for impugning Jeff Sessions during a debate on his confirmation for Attorney General.

The book will tell the stories of 13 women who overcame immense opposition to achieve their goals:  Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Nellie Bly, Maria Tallchief, Claudette Colvin, Clara Lemlich, Ruby Bridges, Margaret Chase Smith, Sally Ride, Florence Griffith Joyner, Oprah Winfrey and Sonia Sotomayor.  Not a peep about Warren from whom she stole the “she persisted” publicity stunt.  Meh.

Chelsea should have included other women who persisted—Kathleen Willey, Paula Jones and Juanita Broaddrick.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of The Pirate’s Cove.  We’re grateful to The Admiral for linking to this post.

McCain’s War

The long-simmering war between John McCain and Rand Paul boiled over Wednesday on the Senate floor when McCain directly accused Paul of working for Russian President Vladimir Putin.

McCain was speaking in support of a bill advancing Montenegro’s bid to join NATO.  Foreign Ministers invited the tiny Balkan nation to start accession talks to become the 29th member of the alliance in December of 2015.


Montenegro's Slavic ally Russia has strongly opposed its membership.  Russia sees the move as a way to cut off Moscow’s strategic access to the Adriatic Sea.  Serbia is Russia’s only traditional ally in the region.


There is no compelling reason to bring Montenegro into NATO. It adds nothing to the alliance with a military of just 2,000 and will become one more ally dependent on the United States.

In 2013, only 38 percent of Montenegrins supported accession. Many of them are Serbs who remember NATO's role in the Balkan wars of the 1990s. Prime Minister Milo Đukanović, who has run Montenegro since 1991, was a staunch ally of former President Slobodon Milošević of Serbia who was handed over to the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague for genocide and crimes against humanity including the infamous massacre of civilians at Srebrenica in 1995.

Furthermore, Duško Marković, became Montenegro’s prime minister in November 2016 amid complaints of election irregularities and the support of the Democratic Party of Socialists (DPS).

The National Consortium for the Study of Terrorism and Responses to Terrorism at the University of Maryland drew up the Global Terrorist Data which recorded a large number of terror attacks in the Balkans between 1970 and 2015.  Montenegro includes 38 cases including the unresolved case of the killing of Goran Žugić, a security adviser to President Milo Đukanović, in the capital of Podgorica in 2000.

A published report appearing in The Washington Times in November of 2015 reveals Croatian intelligence identified a possible Islamic State leader who set up operations in Kosovo and Bosnia-Herzegovina and began to organize scores of Islamist fighters who left the Balkans to join the Islamic State or al Qaeda’s Nusra Front in war torn Syria and Iraq and have since returned home.

“We have identified a possible Islamic State leader for the region and are monitoring the jihadist fighters returning to the Balkans, and there is much to be concerned about,” said the official, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity because he was discussing sensitive intelligence.

The concerns have been exacerbated by the refugee crisis sweeping Europe, which has security officials in the Balkans worried that an Islamic State sleeper cell could slip into the region disguised as Syrian refugees seeking asylum.

With a large Muslim population and a weak economy that leaves young, poor men vulnerable to radicalization, the Balkans region is experiencing growing fears that terrorism may be breeding among its civilian population.

“The threat is real, and the region is a potential tinderbox for radicalization,” the Balkan diplomatic official said.

I have been willing in the past to defend Sen. McCain against challenges to his patriotism and heroism, but his attack on Rand Paul was egregious.

When Sen. Elizabeth Warren attacked Jeff Sessions during his confirmation hearings Majority Leader Mitch McConnell muzzled her when she impugned the motives and conduct of the nominee for Attorney General.  Where the hell was the “Post Turtle” when McCain viscerally accused Rand Paul of working for Putin?

A McCain spokesperson clarified the senator’s words, “Senator McCain believes that the person who benefits the most from Congress’s failure to ratify Montenegro’s ascension to NATO is Vladimir Putin, whose government has sought to destroy the NATO alliance, erode confidence in America’s commitments to its allies, overthrow the duly-elected government of Montenegro, and undermine democratic institutions throughout Europe.”

His office further stated: “Senator McCain, and certainly the people of Montenegro, would appreciate an explanation from Senator Paul as to why he sought to prevent this small, brave country from joining in the defense of the free world.”

In responding to McCain’s McCarthyite broadside Paul said, “Currently, the United States has troops in dozens of countries and is actively fighting in Iraq, Syria, Libya, and Yemen. In addition, the United States is pledged to defend 28 countries in NATO. It is unwise to expand the monetary and military obligations of the United States given the burden of our $20 trillion debt.”

Senate Rule XIX (2) stipulates “No Senator in debate shall, directly or indirectly, by any form of words impute to another Senator or to other Senators any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming a Senator.”

McCain should be punished.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

CNN: Two-Thirds Of Its Own Viewers DO NOT Trust The Network

Voters still remain dubious of much of the political news they are getting.  According to a Rasmussen Reports Poll published on January 4, 2017 of viewers who watch Fox News most often, 50% say they trust the political news they are getting. That compares to 43% of MSNBC viewers and just 33% who tune in mostly to CNN.  That means two-thirds of CNN’s own viewers do not trust “the most trusted name in news.”

CNN’s share of viewers will likely see a downward slide into oblivion when the next poll is taken; after all they led the charge on fake news with the phony Russian dossier filled with wild and salacious falsehoods about Donald Trump.

Let’s not forget about Don Lemon defending four black racists who kidnapped and tortured a mentally disabled man while live streaming it on Facebook or frequent guest Marc Lamont Hill who called for rioting in Baltimore and called African-Americans willing to serve in the Trump Administration as “mediocre negroes.”

So CNN Money headlined a story on their website, “Why A Defiant Girl Is Staring Down The Wall Street Bull.”  State Street Global Advisers installed a bronze statue called “Fearless Girl” in front of the famed “Charging Bull” statue a day before International Women’s Day to “bring attention to an initiative to get more women on their clients’ corporate boards”.  Beneath the girl’s feet is a plaque which reads:  Know the power of women in leadership.  She makes a difference.

Anxious to show Feminazis the cable network has their back, they re-promoted the days-old piece with a tweet implying it had some sort of feminist significance:
You wanna talk impressivethe Mona Lisa has been smiling for 513 years despite her continuing presence in France and the four presidents carved into Mount Rushmore have remained vigilant for 90 years despite periods of brutal cold and sweltering heat. 

MSNBC/Maddow Riding The Hindenburg

Does anyone actually “follow” Rachel Maddow’s Twitter feed except liberal eggheads?  I started watching Tucker Carlson Tonight and immediately switched to MSNBC to watch what turned out to be the Second Coming of The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vaults.

For 18 minutes Madcow gave her fans a long-winded tirade that was, quite frankly, weapons-grade tinfoil hattery.  I guess her “foolproof bullshit detector” isn’t so foolproof after all.

What’s next?  Will she now purport that Vladimir Putin has assured the American people he won’t interfere with the NCAA basketball tournament while blinking in Morse Code that Duke will win the championship?

The mockery has landed on her like a sumo wrestler.

Monday, March 13, 2017

SJW Trek: "Resistance"

The Democrat party reminds me quite a lot of the Borg. It is made up of many disparate and sometimes competing factions, assimilated by a liberal hive mind, animating their every move. 

I won't say "soulless". You could, though!

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

What is the point in satin and lace if it doesn't make a man struggle to speak?




Saturday, March 11, 2017

Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!

Same shit.  Different day.

The left is seething over the firing by Attorney General Jeff Sessions of 46 US attorneys who served under Teleprompter Jesus.

The Justice Department said some US attorneys, as in prior transitions, already had left the department. Sessions asked the remaining 46 presidentially appointed US Attorneys to tender their resignations.
Why would Sessions keep in place those appointees given the fact Acting Attorney General Sally Yatesunmistakably sympathetic to Obama’s non-enforcement policiesinsubordinately refused to defend a lawfully issued executive order endorsed by Justice’s Office of Legal Counsel on the president’s travel ban?

The sore losers on the left seem to be suffering from self-induced amnesiaafter all Obama’s attorney general, Eric Holder said in 2009, “Elections matter.  It is our intention to have the US attorneys that are selected by President Obama in place as quickly as we can.”

After Bill Clinton’s inauguration, he fired all 93 US attorneys.  Not a peep was uttered.  Not. A. Peep.
It is interesting to learn that one US attorney, Preet Bharara, decided to be defiant of Sessions’ request to resign:
His defiance was laughably short-lived:
One need not search very long for the reason behind his defiance.  On November 30, 2016 The Washington Examiner published a juicy tidbit regarding the relationship between Sen. Chuck Schumer and Bharara.
“The aggressive New York Democrat, who is set to lead Senate Democratic opposition to Trump's agenda next year, disclosed that Trump sought out his advice on Bharara last week." 
"’President-elect Trump called me last week and asked me what I thought about Preet Bharara continuing his role as US attorney,’ Schumer said in a statement. ‘I told him I thought Preet was great, and I would be all for keeping him on the job and fully support it.’"
Bharara served as chief counsel to Senator “Upchuck”.  According to The New York Times Bharara tainted a corruption case against New York Assemblyman Sheldon Silver
"Mr. Silver’s lawyers moved to dismiss his indictment because Mr. Bharara had orchestrated a 'media firestorm' that tainted their client’s right to a fair trial. Such motions are considered long shots, but Judge Valerie Caproni of Federal District Court in Manhattan wrote that Mr. Silver had a legitimate argument that the case should be thrown out because Mr. Bharara, 'while castigating politicians in Albany for playing fast and loose with the ethical rules that govern their conduct, strayed so close to the edge of the rules governing his own conduct.'”
Bharara’s office had also been accused of “judge shopping” by the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit in the insider trading case against the hedge fund traders Anthony Chiasson and Todd Newman.

In 2012, a string of prominent insider trading convictions landed him on the cover of Time magazine with the headline ‘This Man Is Busting Wall St.’ The New York Post’s Page Six spotlighted his appearance at this year’s Vanity Fair Oscar party in Los Angeles, featuring him in the same paragraph with Jane Fonda, Angelica Huston and Steve Martin. 
UPDATE:   Welcome The Pirate's Cove readers.  We thank the Admiral for linking to this post.

Frau Blucher: Bowling At The White House

President Trump has invited members of the House Freedom Caucus, who are skeptical of the GOP Obamacare replacement plan, to the White House next week for a few frames of bowling.

The Republican replacement bill, the American Health Care Act, cleared hurdles in the House Ways and Means and Energy and Commerce Committees this week along strict party lines.  Speaker Ryan is hoping to bring the bill to the floor in the next few weeks. 

Republicans have been vowing to repeal and replace the disastrous ObamaCare law since before it was passed seven years ago, and with Trump in the White House, GOP leaders on Capitol Hill are hoping to make good on their promise this year.

Frau Blucher (horses begin to whinny) is having none of it.  Speaking at a breakfast in Washington hosted by the Christian Science Monitor Nancy Pelosi sneeringly quipped, “If he’s in a deal-making mood does that mean bowling at the White House in return for legislation?  I mean, I find the charm offensive offensive.  I really do.”

“I think he’s making fools of his own people, quite frankly. You don’t agree philosophically in what the legislation is?  Let’s go bowling at the White House, OK?  Come on.” she added.

Nancy Pelosi must face so many intellectual challenges each day like breathing and blinking that just combing her hair is impossible.


Pelosi’s predictions about Teleprompter Jesus’s signature legislation have been egregiously erroneous.  For example:  by ramming Obamacare down our throats Democrats lost control of the House, she said Americans would eventually love the ACA but they don’t, she was convinced Hillary would win the presidency and Obamacare would be saved but she lost the election.

A few weeks ago Pelosi told some high-ranking members of Congress had Hillary won the election she would have left Washington DC safe in the knowledge that her legacy would be safe in Granny’s hands.  She, no doubt, would have been offered and ambassadorship to Rome and lived happily ever after.

Last year she almost lost her speakership.  She doesn’t have the sniveling Harry Reid or Teleprompter Jesus to help her do battle against the Republican majority.  What a pity. Said no one EVER.

I See London, I See France. I See CNN’s Underpants.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Paul Ryan’s PowerPoint Pitch


Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Fat Babs Doesn’t Need People Who Need People. She NEEDS Pancakes.

Barbra Streisand tweeted President Trump is making her fat because she takes out her anger toward him during MSNBC’s morning news by eating pancakes smothered in maple syrup testing the capacity of yoga pants to withstand anything.
Thanks Trump! 

In Other News From The Motherland

WASHINGTON, DC—Field Reporter Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanov just filed a report revealing Russia’s ambassador to the US, Sergey Kislyak, has an open social calendar now that no one in The Beltway will talk to him.

Ivanov also notes Bullwinkle Moose confessed he had recently spoken with noted Russian spies Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. He has agreed to recuse himself from the next cartoon.  It was either recuse himself or report to the nearest railroad station for transport to a Russian gulag.

Sposob poyti, Ivan.  Spasibo.

Are We Witnessing A Subversive Attack To Undermine A Sitting President?

 “Let me tell you, you take on the intelligence community, they have six ways from Sunday of getting back at you,” Chuck Schumer said on television. “So even for a practical, supposedly hard-nosed businessman, he’s being really dumb to do this.”—Sen. Chuck Schumer, January 4, 2017 during an appearance on the Rachel Maddow Show
Last Saturday morning President Trump dropped a bombshell with his Twitter accusation that Teleprompter Jesus had wiretapped his phones at Trump Tower and ever since everyone’s hair has been on fire.

The rabid junkyard dogs began frothing at the mouth insinuating the president’s Tweet was “unhinged”.

Kevin Lewis, spokesman for The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer, said in a statement later in the day, "A cardinal rule of the Obama Administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice.  As part of that practice, neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any U.S. citizen. Any suggestion otherwise is simply false."

Moments after Lewis’ statement was released, Obama’s former speechwriter, Jon Favreau tweeted, “I’d be careful about reporting that Obama said there was no wiretapping.  Statement just said that neither he nor the WH ordered it.”
Somebody in the government had been spying on Trump’s team and giving top secret information to anti-Trump media outlets.  On January 19, 2017 The New York Times carried a headline reading: Intercepted Russian Communications Part of Inquiry Into Trump Associates.
You have to read the sixth paragraph of the published report written by Michael S. Schmidt, Matthew Rosenberg, Adam Goldman and Matt Apuzzo to learn the FBI “aided by the National Security Agency, the CIA and the Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Unit” had accelerated their efforts but “found no conclusive evidence of wrongdoing.” “One official said intelligence reports based on some of the wiretapped communications had been provided to the White House.” [emphasis mine]
If no conclusive evidence of wrongdoing was found why does “the paper of record” continue to suggest the probes continue?
Only a Pollyanna would dare believe “remnants” of the Obama Administration had nothing to do with bugging National Security Advisor Michael Flynn and leaking the transcripts to Obama-friendly media outlets or surveilling Senator Jeff Sessions.  Sessions, after all, has no experience in running guns into Mexico like Eric Holder did and he most certainly did not engage in a conversation with the husband of the woman who was the target of an FBI investigation about golf and grandchildren a la Loretta Lynch.
John Crudele reckons the investigation President Trump has called for could turn into a big headache for the Democrats.
“WikiLeaks, which dumped hundreds of thousands of Democrats’ e-mails onto its site, never had one e-mail that came from Hillary or was sent to her.” 
“WikiLeaks had promised what it called the fourth phase of e-mail dumps the week before the election, but that’s the only promise it didn’t keep. So, what happened? My guess is that President Obama’s stern warning to Vladimir Putin caused the Russian president to stop the promised leak of Hillary’s personal e-mails.” 
“Any investigation of the Russian hacking is liable to result in Hillary’s e-mails being read, and perhaps released.”
Paul Gregory writes:
“The media’s focus on Trump’s Russian connections ignores the much more extensive and lucrative business relationships of top Democrats with Kremlin-associated oligarchs and companies. Thanks to the Panama Papers, we know that the Podesta Group (founded by John Podesta’s brother, Tony) lobbied for Russia’s largest bank, Sberbank. ‘Sberbank is the Kremlin, they don’t do anything major without Putin’s go-ahead, and they don’t tell him ‘no’ either,’ explained a retired senior U.S. intelligence official. According to a Reuters report, Tony Podesta was ‘among the high-profile lobbyists registered to represent organizations backing Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovich.’ Among these was the European Center, which paid Podesta $900,000 for his lobbying.” 
“That’s not all: The busy Podesta Group also represented Uranium One, a uranium company acquired by the Russian government which received approval from Hillary Clinton’s State Department to mine for uranium in the U.S. and gave Russia twenty percent control of US uranium. The New York Times reported Uranium One’s chairman, Frank Guistra, made significant donations to the Clinton Foundation, and Bill Clinton was paid $500,000 for one speech from a Russian investment bank that has ‘links to the Kremlin that was promoting Uranium One stock.’  Notably, Frank Giustra, the Clinton Foundation’s largest and most controversial donor, does not appear anywhere in Clinton’s ‘non-private’ emails. It is possible that the emails of such key donors were automatically scrubbed to protect the Clinton Foundation.” 
“Let’s not leave out fugitive Ukrainian oligarch, Dymtro Firtash. He is represented by Democratic heavyweight lawyer, Lanny Davis, who accused Trump of ‘inviting Putin to commit espionage.’”
Bloomberg’s Michael Riley reported US progressive groups are being targeted by Russian hackers who have scoured their emails for embarrassing details and attempted to extract hush money according to sources familiar with the probes being conducted by the FBI.  The Center for American Progress and Arabella Advisors received ransom demands accompanied by samples of sensitive data.

Former Attorney General Michael Mukasey said that Trump is probably right that Trump Tower was bugged.  Undoubtedly by the Justice Department which became weaponized against him. To wit, Obama’s attorney general, Loretta Lynch declares in a video for Senate Democrats:
“I know that this is a time of great fear and uncertainty for so many people. I know it’s a time of concern for people, who see our rights being assailed, being trampled on and even being rolled back. I know that this is difficult, but I remind you that this has never been easy. We have always had to work to move this country forward to achieve the great ideals of our Founding Fathers.” 
“It has been people, individuals who have banded together, ordinary people who simply saw what needed to be done and came together and supported those ideals who have made the difference. They’ve marched, they’ve bled and yes, some of them died. This is hard. Every good thing is. We have done this before. We can do this again.”
We see what you did there Loretta.  We are familiar with your “code language”.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Logan: A Movie Review (Of sorts)

The Wolverine Retirement Home for Mutants

I will attempt to do this with as few spoilers as possible, but for those of you who expect some glimpse of nudity in your R rated movies, the only bit comes in a bit of a false start, where the movie seems to begin, but we see Ryan Reynolds in his Deadpool character, (FYI, he's not in the movie) press his or a butt-double's cheeks against the frosted glass of a phone booth for a funny trailer for his next movie.

The R rating is for language and violence. Lots of violence. The movie is set in the not too distant future. (Allowing, I suppose, room for one last Wolverine picture if the cash and box office of this one is enough to entice Hugh Jackman for one more go round, which apparently he said was his last) We see Logan, who  has retired from superheroing and derring-do, as the owner/operator of a limo service. Logan, who was born before the Civil War, has to be around 200 by now. They would have shown the cake with 200 candles, but even in the future, fire marshals won't allow that much open flame in a structure!

Logan isn't healing as fast as he used to. His beard is turning gray, he needs reading glasses and was coughing so much throughout the movie I wanted to give him a lozenge. He's taking care of Professor X, who, let's just say it's best for everyone if we keep the old guy sedated. Unfortunately, the kind of drugs the professor needs are not covered under Medicare  part B. Everyone tells the professor that when he's hearing voices, he's just "hearing voices", so no one believes him.

Turns out, he really has been communicating with a young girl mutant, threatened by an evil corporation making mutants to use as weapons. (When mutants are outlawed, only outlaws will have mutants!) The rest of the movie is the body count of taking this girl to some haven that may or may not exist, from whence they can flee to Canada. (I'm not sure if Trump is still president that far into the future, but if liberals see themselves as the good mutants, this may be their last best hope!)

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

The human body is the best work of art.