Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Proof In Charge

Your humble blogger will be on hiatus for the next two weeks.  While I’m enjoying the sun and fun at the beach, co-blogger and long-time friend Proof will be in complete charge of the joint.

Sophie The Wonderdog is looking forward to spending time with her little buddies Tika and Teddy and being spoiled rotten by my friend of 40+ years.

I put up a banner saluting the king of absurdity, Al Franken AKA Stuart Smalley.  He deserves to be mocked hard and often.  The banner is my contribution.

Proof has the keys to the liquor cabinet.  Go easy on the guy while I’m gone.  And don’t worry…I made sure the ladies for our regular Monday feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” are queued up. (I can’t afford to have Proof post another round of Star Trek babes.)

Take care.  See ya on the flip side.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

And…It’s Ruined

Come on, admit it.  Your brackets got busted when Northwestern beat Vandy.  Maybe your brackets survived but were later blown up when the Badgers kept ‘Nova out of the dance.

The NCAA says more than 99% of all brackets were busted by the end of the First Round.
Today’s games will complete the Round of 32 and will punch the remaining tickets to the Sweet 16. Will the Road to the Final Four be a regional matchup between my beloved Duke Blue Devils and those dastardly Tarheels of Carolina?  I’m banking on it.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hillary Clinton: "I'm Ready To Come Out Of The Woods"

The woods around Chappaqua have been filled with screaming and blame-tossing for the last four months as Granny Clinton searched for how it all went wrong. The unfortunate locals who wandered those forlorn acres have been terrorized by ominous piles of rocks and sinister twig figures reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project.

Speaking at a St. Patrick’s Day event in Scranton the sore loser said, “So, I was thinking, like OK, what do we do?  You know, walk in the woods.  You know you can only do so much of that. I’m ready to come out of the woods.”

The trees said, “Oh thank God. She never shuts up!”

I blame Hansel and Gretel for leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for her to follow.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Wave Your Tiny Arms In The Air

Monopoly® was created on March 19, 1935, when Parker Brothers acquired the rights to it and since then an estimated 1 billion people have weighed the merits of buying up utilities and railroads or trying to hit it big with Boardwalk hotels.
Hasbro who owns the rights to the board game announced today, “the boot has been booted, the wheelbarrow has been wheeled out and the thimble got the thumbs down."

In their place will be a tyrannosaurus rex dinosaur, a penguin and a rubber ducky.

I blame Russia for this!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Chelsea Clinton’s New Book: Daddy’s Cigar Is Missing Again

I kid. 

Former First Daughter and offspring of Web Hubbell (again I kid), Chelsea Mezvinsky (nee) Clinton has written a children’s picture book featuring the title She Persisted inspired by Sen. Elizabeth Warren who was punished for impugning Jeff Sessions during a debate on his confirmation for Attorney General.

The book will tell the stories of 13 women who overcame immense opposition to achieve their goals:  Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Nellie Bly, Maria Tallchief, Claudette Colvin, Clara Lemlich, Ruby Bridges, Margaret Chase Smith, Sally Ride, Florence Griffith Joyner, Oprah Winfrey and Sonia Sotomayor.  Not a peep about Warren from whom she stole the “she persisted” publicity stunt.  Meh.

Chelsea should have included other women who persisted—Kathleen Willey, Paula Jones and Juanita Broaddrick.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of The Pirate’s Cove.  We’re grateful to The Admiral for linking to this post.

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