Saturday, December 3, 2016

CNN: The Most Trusted Name In Sicko News

I don’t want to be accused of overreacting, but FTV Live obtained a video in which CNN's Suzanne Malveaux, her crew, and producers were prepping for a news broadcast covering President-elect Donald Trump's Carrier press conference.

Moments before Trump's plane touched down in Indianapolis on Thursday, a member of Malveaux's crew joked about it crashing.

The producer can be heard telling Malveaux she'll signal her if the plane lands during the live segment: “That means the plane has crashed…just kidding.”

This so-called “joke” may not rise to the level of a Class E felony under US Code Title 18, Section 871 making it illegal to knowingly and willfully mail or otherwise make any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, but the Secret Service needs to investigate this abhorrent incident.

Many will view this as free speech under the First Amendment so I will henceforth exercise my First Amendment rights by calling for everyone reading this blog post to turn off CNN.  Heck, why not boycott the cable outfit’s advertisers?  There is no current or concise list of advertisers that I can find but this website has quite few of them listed with contact information from a posting that dates back to 2008.

JK Harris and Company
AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals
E-Trade
Monex Precious Metals
Sprint / Nextel
Select Quote
Wells Fargo
AARP
Philips / Norelco
Subaru
Geico
Boston Market
Liberty Medical
University of Phoenix
Hyundai
Cisco
Johnson and Johnson

CNN was forced to quickly issue an apology to both Trump and his transition team in the wake of the video’s release.  “An unfortunate and inappropriate remark was made by one of our producers off camera yesterday. We have apologized to the Trump transition team, and the producer has been disciplined,” said the network in a statement.  CNN did not however release the name of the producer who made the comment.

Malveaux, who was the only person on camera when the producer made the joke, will not be facing any disciplinary action for her role in the exchange.

This is just the latest in a long string of egregious actions taken by the network.  It’s time to affect their bottom line; their effing pocketbook.
UPDATE:  Welcome readers of The Feral Irishman 

Alabama Crimson Tide Vs Florida Gators: 2016 SEC Championship Game

Today’s the day my beloved Crimson Tide rolls to its third straight SEC Championship title.  Bama is the unanimous No. 1 team in the nation and is riding a 24-game winning streak and what’s more The Boys from Tuscaloosa haven’t trailed in a fourth quarter since coming back to beat Clemson in last year’s National Championship Game.

The 12-0 Tide meets the 8-3 underdogs of Florida at the Georgia Dome.  Kickoff is set for 4:00 PM ET on CBS.  This will be the ninth time in the 25-year history of the SEC Championship Game the two teams clash for the title.  The series is tied 4-4.  Did I mention the swamp critters are underdogs?  Vegas has Alabama as a 3-touchdown favorite and ESPN’s Matchup Predictor gives the Tide an 88.5% chance of turning the Gators into alligator boots and a nice purse.

This game will not, I repeat, will not be a slugfest.  Gone are the glory days of Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyers, Danny Wuerffel and Tim Tebow.  There is simply no way the Gator offense can do what better offenses have failed to do all season long.

Millions of Bama haters nationwide will be cheering for the Gators.  A local watering hole across from the campus of the University of Florida will give out free orange-and-blue shots anytime the Gators score.  You can rest assured no Florida fans are going to be pounding shots if the Gators score.  They may, however, be pounding them because they’re getting pounded by the Tide.  This is the same restaurant/bar that is facing eviction for non-payment of rent and defaulting on a promissory note.  A former employee was arrested two weeks ago for stealing more than $5,000 from the safe.  What a pathetic bunch of losers.

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

Friday, December 2, 2016

Christmas Parody “It’s The Most Wonderful Time In 8 Years”

An Ounce Of Pretension Is Worth A Pound Of Manure

Well, well, well.  The news reader Ad Week featured on its cover and rather zealously labeled “news anchor of the year” is mulling over “her future” in the news racket. 

Megyn Kelly told the publication in a recent interview, “I'm seriously considering my future and I do feel very grateful that I have a spot at Fox News. I really have respect for the Murdochs. I haven't known them very well but I've come to know them and so far I like everything I've seen. So the thought of working for them is very alluring. But I have to figure this one out and give it all the consideration it deserves because I've got these three little people with me who I really love and want to see as well. This is a big one for me and I don't want to screw it up.”

Reports of “MeAgain” Kelly jumping ship are littering the Internet.  One network “is doing all they can to try and snatch” her away from Fox News.  CNN Worldwide president Jeff Zucker is said to be “moving the Himalayan Mountains to get her, but they are tripped up on money. He simply can't pay her the $20 million a year Fox has on the table,' according to an insider.

Sources who spoke with the Drudge Report said that Kelly is “despised” by the other on-air talent at the network who’ve described how things have only gotten worse since the release of her new book.  “Settle for More” is expected to end the holidays under 500,000 total copies sold.

If the star of The Kelly File does enter into a contract with CNN she will join former Fox News personalities Alisyn Camerota, Bob Beckel and Mary Katharine Ham, who all moved to CNN.  Beckel was always profoundly asinine.  Camerota, in keeping with the absurd theories so often promulgated at that network foisted a ridiculous notion that Americans should wear hijabs to show solidarity with Muslim women who fear being attacked.  Her suggestion came on the heels of the ISIS-inspired radical Islamic Ohio State University student who rammed his car into a group of people then got out and began slashing at passersby with a knife.

I say if “MeAgain” wants to join the headcases at CNN then Fox should let her go on her merry way.  It would greatly amuse Americans who’ve felt alienated by her if Fox did not renew her contract and she headed to the flailing cable news network for far less than the $20 million she is seeking.

Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox, told The Wall Street Journal “We have a deep bench of talent, many of whom would give their right arm for her spot.”

I have one piece of advice that “MeAgain” may find useful.  It’s gleaned from one of my all-time favorite movies “Steel Magnolias”:  Pretty isn’t everything.  

UPDATE:  Welcome Bad Blue readers.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Very Last Christmas Tree Of Obama White House

The last White House Christmas tree of the Obama administration arrived last Friday.  It was delivered to the executive mansion in a horse-drawn carriage.

Maria Puente of USA Today made certain to fill us in on what The Wookiee was wearing when she welcomed the tree:  Mrs. Obama’s outfit was casual chic.  A black military-style tunic jacket with asymmetrical buttons and bell sleeves over black leggings and high-heeled mid-calf black boots.

The tree, as you might expect, is stunning. It was brought down in the Piney Woods of East Texas by Johnny Manziel’s car.

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  The 19-foot Balsam-Veitch fir was grown at the Whispering Pines Tree Farm in Oconto, WI.  The disgraced and drunken Manziel was nowhere near the tree farm.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Obama's Nothingburger Eulogy of Fidel Castro

Why do people always say "it goes without saying", and then proceed to fill the air with words? What's worse, is to fill the air with meaningless words. Case in point: Barack Obama.

I'm sure Barack Obama would love to be remembered as an outstanding orator if not a statesman. I think he pays his speechwriters extra if they throw in some bit of unusual and flowery language that someone else might find profound, but mostly sounds stilted. But then, since he has said he's a better speechwriter than his speechwriters, there's reason to believe that this particular bit of nonsense may have been penned by the President himself!
"History will record and judge the enormous impact of this singular figure on the people and the world around him."
Really? Really?? This may be profound in the "water is wet" school of oratory, but, please! This particular bit of nothingburger could have been written about virtually any national or world leader, good or bad, throughout history. You could say it about Churchill or Mussolini. You could say it about Pol Pot or the Pope. You could say it about Henry VIII or Idi Amin. You could say it about Hitler or Stalin. Or even Obama! Change the gender of the pronoun and you could say it about Maggie Thatcher, Mother Teresa and Joan of Arc!

"History will record and judge the enormous impact of this singular figure on the people and the world around him" reaches new depths of shallow. Plug in any of the names above or supply your own, and tell me it isn't true.

I suspect the President has a copy of "How to Say As Little As Possible in As Many Words As Possible With a Straight Face or Condescending Look For Dummies."

Or maybe he wrote the book???

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. 




Friday, November 25, 2016

2016 Iron Bowl: Alabama Crimson Tide Vs Auburn Tigers

No. 1 Alabama clinched the SEC West Championship (its third straight) two Saturdays ago when it drubbed Mississippi State 51-3 and Auburn lost to Georgia 13-7.

The Dawgs had possession of the ball for 39 minutes of the game and made 21 first downs compared to the Tigers’ paltry 10.  UGA had 208 passing yards and 135 rushing yards.  Auburn was in control in the first half but when the Dawgs returned after halftime the game’s momentum swung in their favor.

The 81st meeting in the rivalry game known as the Iron Bowl will kick off at 3:30 PM ET at Bryant-Denny Stadium.  CBS will carry the game. The Crimson Tide won six of the last eight slobberknockers including the last two games.  Bama leads the series 44-35-1.

Auburn last won at Bryant-Denny in 2010 when Cam Newton was under center.  The Tigers come to Tuscaloosa banged up pretty bad.  Unsurprisingly War Eagle is the heavy underdog in this game.  The Tide has a 78.8% chance of taking the Tigers by their tail and beating the snot out of them.

Will Sean White’s shoulder injury keep him out of the Iron Bowl?  Will star running back Kamryn Pettway be well enough to play after sitting out the last two games?  Head Coach Gus Malzahn is hopeful he can play them both.  They’re going to need them badly to even have a shot at taking down the Tide.

The rivalry between these two schools has long been recognized as one of the most heated in the country.  Auburn is beaten down and desperate.  That’s no way to come into Tuscaloosa—with the Houndstooth, the Rammer Jammer, the bragging fans, the Finebaum freaks and the Kiffin troll game—but come they must however demoralized they may be.  They’re asking themselves isn’t four national titles in seven years enough?  Nope.  No it isn’t.

I saw on ESPN’s Gameday two Saturdays ago that Washington wanted Bama?  Really?  Don’t make me laugh.  The Huskies got beaten by USC 26-13.  Bama annihilated the team that beat them on September 3rd 52-6. Surely nobody has ever won five titles in eight years, have they?  Hmmmm.


And finally, anyone who follows this blog knows that I am steeped in Alabama football and a reverence for Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant which goes all the way back to my childhood.  I learned to love the game my daddy loved.  He would be proud of the boys from Tuscaloosa.  And, I swear, I can hear him hootin’ and hollerin’ up there in Heaven after every victory.

Coach Bryant is hoisted on the shoulders of his team after completing an undefeated regular season. The first nationally televised Iron Bowl featured Alabama quarterback Joe Namath and receiver Ray Perkins who led the Tide to a 21 - 14 victory over the Auburn Tigers in the November 26, 1964 matchup held at Legion Field in Birmingham, Alabama. (Photo credit:  Robert Adams/The Birmingham News)

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

How Much Postage on an Express Letter to the North Pole?

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