Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

Saturday Satire

On Thursday, MSNBC’s resident lunatic, Lawrence O’Donnell hosted “A Last Word Special: Joe Biden with Stacey Abrams”.  This was little more than a casting call for the morbidly obese, gap-toothed pushy broad who is weaseling her way into Uncle Joe’s VP selection.

“Only in America, is jogging in 2020 while black and sleeping while black a cause for killing," Abrams said. "Our ability to vote is exactly how to solve one of the challenges that the Vice President lifts up—we have to have the ability to elect district attorneys who actually respect our people, that we can elect people as our sheriffs that actually execute laws properly. That is what we have to take to the voting booth in November and into the presidency and into the White House in January."

Democrats should be wary if they expect her to be Joe’s caretaker while in office.  Joe will starve to death because this gal can pack away the snacks.

Poor Joe Biden.  He’s grounded by the coronavirus and facing tough questions about his role in the “Obamagate” scandal that could keep him in his basement all summer.

Biden is one of several Obama Administration officials who asked to “unmask” the identity of former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn in late 2016 and early 2017, when then-President-Elect Trump was about to take power.

"I was never a part or had any knowledge of any criminal investigation into Flynn while I was in office. Period. Not one single time."

My reference to Spy Vs Spy may be a little too much boomer for some, but Biden has never been good at answering uncomfortable questions.  Fact is, any damned question can trip him up.  Better stay in that basement Joe.  It’s not safe to come out and I’m not talking about the Chinese Lung Rot.

President Trump pressed Sen. Lindsey Graham who chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee to call The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer to testify about the attempted coup against his presidency and the efforts to unmask Gen. Mike Flynn. 

If I were a Senator or Congressman, the first person I would call to testify about the biggest political crime and scandal in the history of the USA, by FAR, is former President Obama. He knew EVERYTHING. Do it @LindseyGrahamSC, just do it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more talk!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 14, 2020

The list of Obama officials who requested to unmask Flynn’s identity included Biden, Comey, Brennan, Clapper and then-Chief of Staff Denis McDonough.  The list was declassified by Acting Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Rick Grenell.  Unfortunately, Miss Graham reverted to his former McCain ask-kissing days expressing reluctance to call the former president to testify.

The list of Obama officials who requested to unmask Flynn’s identity included Biden, Comey, Brennan, Clapper and then-Chief of Staff Denis McDonough. The list was declassified by Acting Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Rick Grenell.  Unfortunately, Miss Graham reverted to his former McCain ask-kissing days expressing reluctance to call the former president to testify.

In July of 2019, Vice President Mike Pence was at Cape Canaveral to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the moon landing in 1969.  He said, “If Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Mike Collins are not heroes, then there are no heroes. Apollo 11 is the only event in the 20th century that stands a chance of being widely remembered in 30th century.”

I hard to argue with his assessment unless you’re talking about Capt. Mark Kelly.

Kelly, an astronaut himself and husband to Gabby Giffords, is running for Senate from the state of Arizona.  He’s running as a Democrat.  His party affiliation is hardly the problem.  His allegiance to America has come under scrutiny.

Coming at a time of heightened tensions between President Trump and the Communist Chinese government, we are learning Kelly’s company spent years flaunting its ties to Chinese investors Tencent and WeChat.  Both companies are guilty of espionage.  The good people of Arizona and this nation cannot trust Kelly to deliver on his promises or keep America safe from communist influence.

The worst part of Kelly’s relationship with China is his company's hot air balloons take better surveillance photos of the earth than satellites. And now he’s given a stake in that technology to Red China.

The contest between Kelly and Martha McSally is among the handful of races nationally expected to determine control of the Senate next year.  I want Arizonans to take heed of this disturbing revelation and cast their votes for McSally.  His betrayal of America cannot stand. 

Friday Funnies

Saturday Satire

I’m going to make a relatable boomer reference here that I think best describes the news cycle every damned day of President Trump’s term.  It’s from the 1986 film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Let’s start with yesterday’s press briefing with Kayleigh McEnany during which she accused the FBI of trying to manufacture a crime against President Trump’s National Security Adviser Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn in 2017.  She stated, “The FBI exists to investigate crimes, but in the case of Michael Flynn, it appears that they might have existed to manufacture one.”

Newly unsealed documents revealed the motivation for interviewing him was to “get him to lie” so he would be fired or prosecuted, or to get him to admit to wrongdoing.  McEnany pointed to text messages from Peter Strzok saying, “Hey, don’t close RAZOR [Operation Crossfire Razor].

If you weren’t able to catch the press briefing, the link is here.

During the same briefing resident douchebag Jim Acosta revealed his fear of catching the Chinese Lung Rot and asked McEnany about contact tracing since it was reported that VP Pence’s spokeswoman, Katie Miller, had tested positive for the virus.  Each member of the WH press pool are tested.  Here we see Jimbo dutifully wearing a face mask looking a little drowsy.  It immediately brought to mind the My Pillow ads.

On Wednesday of this week, out of the clear blue, fat-ass has-been drug and alcohol-addicted rocker Axl Rose decided to pick a Twitter fight with Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.  Some folks entered the fray in defense of Mnuchin.  Someone you might be familiar with was one of them.

It’s official! Whatever anyone may have previously thought of Steve Mnuchin he’s officially an asshole.

— Axl Rose (@axlrose) May 6, 2020

INBOX: @stevenmnuchin1 @axlrose @ComfortablySmug

BTW, those “fat photos” of you are STILL on the Internet. Ha ha ha. pic.twitter.com/S0akvMiRub

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) May 7, 2020

Not to belabor the point, but Joe Biden is pathetic.  His virtual rallies are a farce.  The video quality is glitchy, pixelated and moves at a snail’s pace.  What the hell is Biden’s team doing?  It’s elder abuse I tell ya.  I think it’s a bad omen for his election chances.  Here are my thoughts and tweets on the matter.

Not only can the Left 𝙉𝙊𝙏 meme, they can't even get their nominee to leave his basement which will lead inevitably to this... pic.twitter.com/EWbhunhtvQ

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) May 9, 2020

Friday Funnies

Saturday Satire

Another week, another avalanche of mind-boggling stupidity from our betters on the left.

Yesterday Kayleigh McEnany, the newly appointed White House Press Secretary, held the first daily briefing in 417 days. If you watched it like I did, you saw someone in total command of the idiots from the Democrat Media Complex.

She touched on a variety of topics including the Chopsticky Sicky and the perjury trap the FBI and DOJ set for Gen. Michael Flynn.  Through coordination with the President’s new Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows, McEnany appeared extremely comfortable in front of the howling hyenas of the press pool.

The Associated Press’s White House Correspondent Jill Colvin asked McEnany, “Will you pledge never to lie to us from that podium?”  McEnany unhesitatingly answered, “I will never lie to you.  You have my word on that.”

This is today's Democrat Party:

INBOX: @ChairmanBuckley @NHSpeaker @KomiRichard @NHDems @JoeBiden #nhpolitics

If you are serious about this man’s repugnant comments you will impeach him immediately should he refuse to resign. Otherwise, he does reflect the values of your party.

The Internet is forever. https://t.co/jZ2TXrRhsp pic.twitter.com/LpekG3kXGc

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) May 2, 2020

On Wednesday, Malig-Nancy Pelosi was confronted about Joe Biden’s sexual assault allegations.  Her answer was intellectually bankrupt. "I have complete respect for the whole #MeToo movement...there's also due process...Joe Biden is Joe Biden...There was never any record...I am so proud, the happiest day for me this week was to support Joe Biden for President of the United States." 

Throughout the week a certain group on Twitter waited to pounce on any Tweet Joe Biden’s campaign posted.  The instant one popped up it was retweeted with the following meme.

https://t.co/JF0xpcBFoU pic.twitter.com/RWJbyG3mXh

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 30, 2020

After he was grilled by the blond-headed bimbo on Morning Joe, Biden wrote to Julie Adams, Secretary of the Senate requesting “assistance in determining whether 27 years ago a staff member in my United State Senate office filed a complaint alleging sexual harassment. I request that you take or direct whatever steps are necessary to establish the location of the records of this office, and once they have been located, to direct a search for the alleged complaint and to make public the results of the search. I would ask that the public release include not only a complaint, if one exists, but any and all other documents in the records that relate to the allegation.”

That’s mighty big of ya Joey.  There’s one teeny, tiny little problem though. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the legacy media, you know, the wolves at the door for Trump have remained silent on Joey Fingers’ bimbo eruptions.

We’ve all seen the still photos of Biden groping women of every age and sniffing their hair.  Some on Twitter have done mashup videos.  Seeing Biden in action is repulsive and reminded me of the 1999 movie 8mm starring Nicholas Cage who is a private investigator hired to infiltrate the depraved world of snuff porn films and how sickened he is as he watches them.  Below is my take.

And finally:

Friday Funnies

Saturday Satire

I have a confession to make to our readers.  I have been preoccupied with a group of tweeters known as Smug Minions.  Out of the blue on March 5th, I was approached to join a group of Twitter trolls aligned with conservative @ComfortablySmug.  I have spent a lot of time getting to know as many minions as I can.  On Wednesday, I participated in the very first online #TopMinionTrivia game.  There were six rounds of ten questions each.  Nearly all of the questions were impossible to Google.  You either knew the answer or you didn’t.  The final round was a series of 12 screenshots from iconic movies where the image was reversed and the faces of the characters were completely removed from the picture.  The team I was on came in 7th out of 13 teams.  It was bunches of fun.

@PoliticalClownP and the CoronaVirus Veterans salute @neontaster and Tigers, Tigers and Tigers Oh My! victory in the first ever #TopMinionTrivia #FFF game.@neontaster@Mar__G_3@JerryDunleavy@JustineAnnSand@kyleezempel@SeanKumnick pic.twitter.com/ZLJG9LundI

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 24, 2020

You see the little hat on the minion pictured above?  I came across a tweet two weeks ago for that cool hat and I just had to have it.  The mailman delivered it to me yesterday. It’s badass and all the cool kids want one now.

It features an array of four battle ribbons:  Maintaining Wi-Fi Connection, Corona Survival, Hand Sanitization and Toilet Paper Shortage Survival. 

With the so-called bombshell video that surfaced about Creepy Joe Biden’s alleged sexual assault of Tara Reade, another piece of the puzzle came to light as well.  If you ever wondered what Joe was really doing in those photographs where he is seen burying his face in women’s hair, wonder no more!

pic.twitter.com/EsbNYFv9ny

— Clivus Multrum (@multrum) April 23, 2020

This week’s ‘Rona Rallies have been especially brutal for lefty journos who’ve attended the White House Taskforce briefings.  Trump savaged each one mercilessly.

When President Trump discussed UV lighting as a way to fight the COVID-19 virus on Thursday, the press poodles went apeshit crazy claiming the President’s followers would rush to stores to buy Lysol™ to inhale as a way to combat the virus.  This prompted the basement-dwelling Biden to tweet his admonition and so did Granny Clinton.  I couldn’t let that go.

https://t.co/tEinis58Qa pic.twitter.com/WIFFz9WTF3

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 24, 2020

You keep trying to dunk on the man who stopped your coronation. I do not think it means what you think it means. https://t.co/NoleB97OHG pic.twitter.com/aFv2L4vNkp

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 24, 2020

In an Oval Office ceremony on Friday, the President signed legislation providing $484 billion to replenish a popular small business lending program and support hospitals and COVID-19 testing amid the coronavirus pandemic.  It was during the ceremony that pool reporters gave him a ration of shit over his comments from the day before.

He told reporters he was being “sarcastic” when he appeared to ponder the idea of disinfectant injections as a way of combating the Chopsticky Sicky disease. The manufacturers of Lysol™ issued a public statement declaring, “As a global leader in health and hygiene products, we must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route).”

WTF? Do they picture us standing on line at the store with toilet bowl cleaner, Swiffer WetJet refills, mildew remover, grout whitener and roof sealant just in case the President suggests one of those products will treat the Chinese virus?  Get a grip people.

The Democrat Media Complex is always at the ready to criticize the Trump Administration and this week they pushed fake news about a labradoodle dog breeder Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar assigned to be his Chief of Staff.  They said he was tapped to head the day-to-day government response to COVID-19.  That was a damned lie.

The Dallas Morning News called them out on it saying, “Brian (Harrison) was a no-brainer pick.  His private sector experience is irrelevant…he was a completely known commodity who had extensive experience.”

He’s been in government service since 2006 working in the Bush Administration in both the Department of Defense and HHS. He’s been in the Trump Administration since 2018.

And finally…

@TedCruz @ComfortablySmug

INBOX:

Sen. Ted Cruz goes 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲. He will be introducing a bill to stop the Communist Chinese government through Phoenix TV from blanketing America with its vile propaganda. pic.twitter.com/P12d11SiOA

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 25, 2020

Friday Funnies

Saturday Satire

On Thursday the White House unveiled guidelines for “Opening Up America Again” outlining a phased approach to restoring normal commerce and services, but only for places with strong testing and seeing a decrease in COVID-19 cases.

In the days before this announcement, President Trump was savagely destroying the Democrat Media Complex.

President Trump was challenged at Monday's coronavirus press briefing for the way his administration has responded to the coronavirus crisis when he played a video criticizing the media’s reactions throughout this Chop Sticky Sicky pandemic. It was a bitch-slap of epic proportion.

So effective was the video that CBS White House Correspondent Paula Reid argued disrespectfully with the President asking what he did with the time after he ordered a ban on travel to the United States for anyone coming from China and Europe in January and the initialization of his Administration’s response to the outbreak.

What did you do with the time that bought you?  The video has a complete gap for the month of February,” she snarled.  “Are these rants supposed to make people feel confident?”

The timeline provided great detail of every step the Trump Administration took to slow the spread and prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed with active cases of the disease.

"Look, look, you know you're a fake. You know that. Your whole network, the way you cover it is fake. And most of you, not all of you, but the people are wise to you. That's why you have a lower approval rating than you ever had before," Trump said.

At Tuesday's coronavirus press briefing, President Trump announced he was halting U.S. funding of the World Health Organization (WHO) after several errors were made which shielded China from scrutiny and the pissing and moaning from the press went into effing overdrive.

In 2018-19, the U.S. contributed nearly $900 million to WHO's budget. That was about one-fifth of the organization's $4.4 billion budget for those years.

A more detailed WHO budget document provided by the U.S. mission in Geneva showed that in 2019, the United States provided $452 million, including nearly $119 million in assessed funding. In its most recent budget proposal from February, the Trump administration called for slashing the U.S. assessed funding contribution to the WHO to $57.9 million.

During the briefing, CNN’s Jim Acosta shared via Twitter a running list of "scapegoats" he accused the President of blaming. "Scapegoats blamed by Trump for Coronavirus pandemic: World Health Organization, Members of News Media, Democrats in Congress, Governors, (Not himself)," Acosta tweeted later adding, “Other scapegoats blamed by Trump: China, Obama Administration.”

Jim Acosta loves nothing more than Jim Acosta and he is totally oblivious to the fact he makes everyone in the press look bad and is actually helping the President get re-elected.

Also on Tuesday, The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer endorsed Joe Biden’s candidacy for President.  Speculation began to swirl on the Twitter machine about who Corn Pop’s nemesis would pick to be his running mate. The top picks were Pocahontas and Kamala “Spank Me” Harris. 

I had a lot of fun Thursday poking fun at the idiots running Biden’s digital campaign.  The geniuses put up a website encouraging Sleepy Joe’s supporters to help him come up with a code for his campaign.  You never intervene when your enemy is destroying himself but I took pity on the bumbling fool.

I shouldn't be helping you Joe, but I feel sorry for you. So here's a code: pic.twitter.com/1eOggu09wt

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 16, 2020

The same clueless dolts were also encouraging Joe’s supporters to create their own avatar declaring they were on Team Joe.  Talk about a disaster.  A bajillion people had a heyday with this one.  So did yours truly. 

@realDonaldTrump The Biden campaign is urging his supporters to create an avatar. Here's mine. What do you think of it? pic.twitter.com/9uNrFrZTRd

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 16, 2020

pic.twitter.com/NrmQ4c5rld

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 17, 2020

Friday, April 17^th was Jim Acosta’s birthday.  Communist China celebrated the illustrious day for its chief mouthpiece.  2020 is, after all, the Year of the Rat.  I shit you not. 

One of the richest members of Congress, Nancy Pelosi, went on late night TV to share with America how’s she coping during the awful mess China wrought on the world.  She did so from her ivory tower perched on a barstool in her kitchen.  She gave us a tour of the freezer chocked full of $13-a-pint Jeni’s gourmet chocolate ice cream found in her $24,000 fridges all while cheering on her Democrat minions for blocking desperately needed coronavirus relief for small businesses.

Many are confused as to why this woman would act this way.  Wonder no more. I have the answer:

#BatAppreciationDay was trending on Twitter yesterday.  Again, I shit you not.  Here is where I quote the evil Vizzini from The Princess Bride wherein he says, “I don't think that word means what you think it means.”

At least four federal class-action lawsuits have been filed against the Chinese government that aim to recover trillions of dollars in damages for what plaintiffs allege is China's failure to contain the coronavirus outbreak and notify the international community about its dangers.

The plaintiffs claim that the Chinese government intentionally misled the international community about the coronavirus and its devastating medical and economic consequences.

I’m a boomer so I used Saturday Night Fever as my way of pointing to the cavalier manner in which Red China danced around for more than two months before saying a peep.  I like what one person said:  “This is China’s Chernobyl moment.”