Saturday Satire

On Thursday, MSNBC’s resident lunatic, Lawrence O’Donnell hosted “A Last Word Special: Joe Biden with Stacey Abrams”.  This was little more than a casting call for the morbidly obese, gap-toothed pushy broad who is weaseling her way into Uncle Joe’s VP selection.

“Only in America, is jogging in 2020 while black and sleeping while black a cause for killing," Abrams said. "Our ability to vote is exactly how to solve one of the challenges that the Vice President lifts up—we have to have the ability to elect district attorneys who actually respect our people, that we can elect people as our sheriffs that actually execute laws properly. That is what we have to take to the voting booth in November and into the presidency and into the White House in January."

Democrats should be wary if they expect her to be Joe’s caretaker while in office.  Joe will starve to death because this gal can pack away the snacks.

Poor Joe Biden.  He’s grounded by the coronavirus and facing tough questions about his role in the “Obamagate” scandal that could keep him in his basement all summer.

Biden is one of several Obama Administration officials who asked to “unmask” the identity of former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn in late 2016 and early 2017, when then-President-Elect Trump was about to take power.

"I was never a part or had any knowledge of any criminal investigation into Flynn while I was in office. Period. Not one single time."

My reference to Spy Vs Spy may be a little too much boomer for some, but Biden has never been good at answering uncomfortable questions.  Fact is, any damned question can trip him up.  Better stay in that basement Joe.  It’s not safe to come out and I’m not talking about the Chinese Lung Rot.

President Trump pressed Sen. Lindsey Graham who chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee to call The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer to testify about the attempted coup against his presidency and the efforts to unmask Gen. Mike Flynn. 

If I were a Senator or Congressman, the first person I would call to testify about the biggest political crime and scandal in the history of the USA, by FAR, is former President Obama. He knew EVERYTHING. Do it @LindseyGrahamSC, just do it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more talk!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 14, 2020

The list of Obama officials who requested to unmask Flynn’s identity included Biden, Comey, Brennan, Clapper and then-Chief of Staff Denis McDonough.  The list was declassified by Acting Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Rick Grenell.  Unfortunately, Miss Graham reverted to his former McCain ask-kissing days expressing reluctance to call the former president to testify.

The list of Obama officials who requested to unmask Flynn’s identity included Biden, Comey, Brennan, Clapper and then-Chief of Staff Denis McDonough. The list was declassified by Acting Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Rick Grenell.  Unfortunately, Miss Graham reverted to his former McCain ask-kissing days expressing reluctance to call the former president to testify.

In July of 2019, Vice President Mike Pence was at Cape Canaveral to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the moon landing in 1969.  He said, “If Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Mike Collins are not heroes, then there are no heroes. Apollo 11 is the only event in the 20th century that stands a chance of being widely remembered in 30th century.”

I hard to argue with his assessment unless you’re talking about Capt. Mark Kelly.

Kelly, an astronaut himself and husband to Gabby Giffords, is running for Senate from the state of Arizona.  He’s running as a Democrat.  His party affiliation is hardly the problem.  His allegiance to America has come under scrutiny.

Coming at a time of heightened tensions between President Trump and the Communist Chinese government, we are learning Kelly’s company spent years flaunting its ties to Chinese investors Tencent and WeChat.  Both companies are guilty of espionage.  The good people of Arizona and this nation cannot trust Kelly to deliver on his promises or keep America safe from communist influence.

The worst part of Kelly’s relationship with China is his company's hot air balloons take better surveillance photos of the earth than satellites. And now he’s given a stake in that technology to Red China.

The contest between Kelly and Martha McSally is among the handful of races nationally expected to determine control of the Senate next year.  I want Arizonans to take heed of this disturbing revelation and cast their votes for McSally.  His betrayal of America cannot stand. 

Jerry Nadler’s Zipper Vs. The Horowitz Report

As this decade draws to a close, the political calendar for Monday will feature the Heavyweight Fight Card of Fat Jerry Nadler’s Zipper versus The Horowitz Report.

At 9:00 AM from the Longworth House Office Building, the House Judiciary Committee will hold its second impeachment hearing entitled “The Impeachment Inquiry into President Donald J. Trump:  Presentations from the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence and House Judiciary Committee.”

Sometime Monday morning DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz's report into the FBI’s intrusive wiretapping powers will be made public.  Release of the IG’s report follows revelations in October that a related—and equally politically charged—examination of the origins of the Russia investigation has shifted to a criminal probe.

Horowitz, during the more than a year-and-a-half investigation, has not commented on his investigation into FISA court abuses to issue secret warrants by “dirty cops” to monitor persons within the Trump campaign during the 2016 presidential election.  Warrants were renewed several times by judges based on uncorroborated information obtained by disgraced British spy Christopher Steele and paid for by Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

Thus far, four Inspector General reports and internal Justice Department documents have found senior FBI officers guilty of lying, insubordination, security violations, mishandling confidential material and personal biases against President Trump.

Media outlets whose implicit agenda has been to damage this president have deliberately downplayed the significance of Horowitz’s report.

If you believe, as many do, the Democrats are governed by the clock and the calendar in moving forward with Articles of Impeachment the facts are these:

Lindsey Graham, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee sent a letter to Horowitz on November 18th inviting him to testify before the committee on his findings.  Horowitz agreed to the date authorized by Graham which he set for December 11, 2019.

Horowitz Cc’d his letter to Dianne Feinstein who is the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee and to Jerry Nadler, Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee.  In addition, copies were sent to Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI), Rep. Doug Collins (R-GA), Sen. Gary Peters (D-MI), Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH).

Horowitz gave assurances the “lengthy” report would be published with few redactions and without a need to prepare or issue “separate classified and public versions of the report.”

When asked if Chairman Nadler would hold a hearing on the FISA report once it is released, Rep. John Ratcliffe (R-TX) said, "No chance. Jerry Nadler is going to run, not walk, away from any opportunity to bring the Inspector General in to talk about these issues."

The ranking member on the Committee, Georgia Republican Doug Collins, has asked Nadler to schedule a hearing. "FISA oversight falls squarely within the Judiciary Committee’s jurisdiction. We must act swiftly to address concerns outlined in the Inspector General’s report," he wrote in a letter to Nadler.

“I’m not aware of any terrible problem with the FISA court and specifically not with the Carter Page application,” Nadler said.

More than two months later, a hearing focused on Horowitz's report has not been scheduled by the committee. A representative for Nadler did not respond to a request for comment.

Republican Reps. Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows also pressed House Oversight Committee Chairwoman Carolyn Maloney (she replaced Rep. Elijah Cummings who died recently) to hold a FISA report hearing, making the request in a letter. A representative for Maloney did not respond to a request for comment about whether such a hearing might be scheduled.

Hunter Biden Has Managed To Catastrophically Sabotage His Father’s Campaign

There is little question Hunter Biden’s proximity to power shaped the arc of his so-called “career”.  There is also little doubt his father Joe used the Office of the Vice President to advance and protect his son’s interests from old controversies surrounding his work for a bank, a lobbying firm, a hedge fund and his recent business dealings in Ukraine and China.

Hunter has struggled for decades with alcohol addiction and drug abuse.  He went through an acrimonious divorce from his first wife and fell into the arms of his deceased brother Beau’s widow.  Just this week we learned a DNA test revealed Hunter fathered a baby with another woman while he was dating the aforementioned widow.  What a slimeball.

Joe Biden’s staffers have spent recent months berating journalists for digging into the Burisma story.  Glenn Thrush and Kenneth P. Vogel of the New York Times reported, “Hunter Biden’s activities struck many of the officials in the Obama Administration working on Ukraine policy as an unnecessary distraction or worse.”

The Washington Post revealed another State Department official’s attempt to get Biden staffers to intervene with their boss. WaPo reported that George Kent, then a Deputy Assistant Secretary of State, “raised concerns in early 2015 about then–Vice President Joe Biden’s son serving on the board of a Ukrainian energy company.”

During Adam Schiff’s two-week shampeachment extravaganza, Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee repeatedly asked witnesses about Hunter Biden and his connection to the corrupt Ukrainian energy company.  Schiff shot down every effort by Republicans to call Biden’s son to testify before the Committee.

Whether you like Sen. Lindsey Graham or not, he has joined the House Republicans’ phalanx of attack in an effort to get to the bottom of the Biden corruption scandal by writing a letter to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo.  In the letter he requested all documents and communications, call transcripts and/or summaries related to Joe Biden’s phone calls with former Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko, all documents related to the raid on Burisma founder Mykola Zlochevsky’s home in February 2016 and the firing of Prosecutor General Yuriy Lutshenko.  Graham is also very interested in documents related to a meeting between Devon Archer who served on the board of Burisma and was convicted of conspiracy to commit securities fraud, Hunter Biden and Secretary of State John Kerry in March of 2016.

When Sleepy Joe got wind of this news, he was some more kind of pissed.  In an interview with CNN’s Don Lemon, Biden appeared to threaten the sitting senator saying, “Lindsey is about to go down in a way that I think he’s going to regret his whole life.  He knows me; he knows my son; he knows there’s nothing to this.”

The bumbling, stumbling septuagenarian talks a good game.  Remember when he fashioned the tall tale about bringing a chain to a knife fight against a tough, black gang member by the name of Corn Pop?

Biden recalled a hazy summer day in 1962 when he used his authority as a lifeguard to tell the leader of the Romans, the biggest black gang in Wilmington, DE to stop bouncing on the high diving board.

“Corn Pop was a bad dude, and he ran a bunch of bad boys,” Biden said in 2017. “If you used pomade in your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap, and so he was on the board, wouldn’t listen to me, I said, ‘Hey, Esther [Williams, the synchronized swimmer and movie star], you, off the board, I’ll come up and drag you off.’”

“Well, he came off and said, ‘I’ll meet you outside.’” Biden said recalling the event with cinematic vividness, including the fact that Corn Pop had patiently planted himself next to his car until his shift ended. “He was waiting there for me with three guys and straight razors. Not a joke,” he said.

And who can forget the bluster of Joey Plugs back in March 2018 at the University of Miami when he boasted, “If we were in high school, I’d take him [President Trump] behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.”

He later walked back his remark saying, “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

Joe Biden’s god-awful case of hoof-and-mouth disease may have just put him deeper in the quicksand pit his son put in front of him.  The fallout is going to be delicious.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News.  It is our sincere hope your family and friends enjoy a happy, healthy and safe Thanksgiving holiday.

Lindsey Graham’s Empty Promises And Pencil Neck Schiff’s Star Chamber

Yesterday when news broke that Republicans “stormed” the House Intelligence Committee’s SCIF, everyone was aghast.  Video clearly showed members of the Freedom Caucus calmly entering the room where Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense Laura Cooper was set to testify about the suspension of nearly $400 million in military aid for Ukraine.

Use of the term “star chamber” has been bandied about to describe the impeachment inquiry of President Trump because the proceedings, like it’s medieval namesake, are being conducted behind closed doors in the basement of the Capitol without due process or a jury present.

Little Miss Lindsey [Graham] condemned GOP House members for their actions saying, “They’re making a run in the SCIF!  That’s not the way to do it.  That’s nuts.”

He later walked back his comments tweeting:

CORRECTION:

I was initially told House GOP took the SCIF by force – basically like a GOP version of Occupy Wall Street.

Apparently it was a peaceful protest. Big difference.

I understand their frustration and they have good reason to be upset. https://t.co/39GLwGgrPq

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) October 23, 2019

Oh Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey.  Is it any wonder there is growing frustration over your failure to call for hearings on Ukraine’s interference in the 2016 presidential election, the Clinton campaign’s payment to foreign sources to create a fake dossier against Donald Trump, the politically driven Brett Kavanaugh smear campaign, Joe Biden’s overseas influence peddling and Adam Schiff’s ruthless attempts to obtain dirt on Trump from the Ukrainian embassy?

We all remember how far up John McCain’s ass Sen. Graham was.  No one was more shocked than I was when Graham spectacularly came to the defense of Brett Kavanaugh during his Supreme Court confirmation hearings.  I don’t think it's superfluous to say that day Graham’s outrage over the Democrats’ unethical sham may have saved America.

So, what happened to that Lindsey Graham?  He said he would find the truth behind the bureaucratic coup that sought to unseat a duly elected president. What dark secret keeps him from doing his job as Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee? John McCain’s legacy, that’s what.  It was John McCain who personally delivered the salacious Steele dossier to then-FBI Director James Comey and instructed it be shared with the Obama State Department and an Obama National Security Council official.

Graham announced on Monday he plans to introduce a resolution in the Senate condemning House Democrats’ impeachment inquiry arguing any articles of impeachment should be dismissed in the Senate without a trial because they are “illegitimate and unconstitutional”. “I hope every Republican will join my resolution.”

Yeah.  That’ll scare the bejeebers out of Schiff and Pelosi said no one, ever.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News

A Disturbing Charade

As President Trump laid his hand upon the Lincoln Bible at high noon on January 20, 2017, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts was administering the Oath of Office.  At 12:15 PM, Obama’s National Security Administrator was busily typing an email to herself.

She was adorably concerned [I’m being factious here] about detailing her boss’ guidance at a “high-level meeting” in the Oval Office from January 5 about how “law enforcement should investigate interference in the 2016 Presidential Election.”

In attendance was The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer, Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates, “Uncle” Joe Biden, FBI Director James Comey and Rice.

In the email, Rice wrote: “On January 5, following a briefing by IC leadership on Russian hacking during the 2016 Presidential election, President Obama had a brief follow-on conversation with FBI Director Jim Comey and Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates in the Oval Office. Vice President Biden and I were also present. President Obama began the conversation by stressing his continued commitment to ensuring that every aspect of this issue is handled by the Intelligence and law enforcement communities “by the book”. The President stressed that he is not asking about, initiating or instructing anything from a law enforcement perspective. He reiterated that our law enforcement team needs to proceed as it normally would by the book. From a national security perspective, however, President Obama said he wants to be sure that, as we engage with the incoming team, we are mindful to ascertain if there is any reason that we cannot share information fully as it relates to Russia. The President asked Comey to inform him if anything changes in the next few weeks that should affect how we share classified information with the incoming team. Comey said he would.”

The “unusual” email first surfaced Monday, when Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) sent Rice a letter asking her to further explain why she sent the email and whether it pertains to her involvement in the Trump-Russia dossier.

Sens. Grassley and Graham asked her to tell them when she first became aware of the FBI’s investigation into allegations of collusion between the Trump campaign. NOTE: The FBI reportedly began investigating links  sometime in July 2016.

They also asked whether Comey and Yates discussed the dossier in the Oval Office meeting with Obama and how Comey described the FBI’s relationship with the dossier's author, Christopher Steele.

Comey denied ever meeting Obama more than twice in his tenure; once in 2015 and again “to say good-bye in 2016”. By failing to inform the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence about the meeting in his June 8, 2017 testimony, Comey may have deliberately and intentionally misled Congress about his interactions with the former president, especially a meeting so close to Trump entering the White House.

Rice must reply to the letter by Feb. 22.

If Rice abused her position as National Security Adviser to unmask Trump aides as part of an effort to sabotage the Trump Administration, she committed the crime of espionage.

Question No. 5 of the Grassley/Graham letter divulges the strong suspicion they are in possession of documentation contradicting Rice’s email account of the meeting.

5. Is the account of the January 5, 2017 meeting presented in your email accurate? Did you omit any other portions of the conversation?

One wonders what Susan Rice and her colleagues were doing between Jan. 5 and Jan. 20 at noon that made her think she needed to blast out a quick CYA e-mail moments before Trump became president.

— Sean Davis (@seanmdav) February 12, 2018

Obama wanting things done by the book makes perfect sense. He never did anything that wasn’t in Rules for Radicals

— Sean Spicier (@sean_spicier) February 13, 2018