Saturday Satire

I’m going to make a relatable boomer reference here that I think best describes the news cycle every damned day of President Trump’s term.  It’s from the 1986 film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Let’s start with yesterday’s press briefing with Kayleigh McEnany during which she accused the FBI of trying to manufacture a crime against President Trump’s National Security Adviser Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn in 2017.  She stated, “The FBI exists to investigate crimes, but in the case of Michael Flynn, it appears that they might have existed to manufacture one.”

Newly unsealed documents revealed the motivation for interviewing him was to “get him to lie” so he would be fired or prosecuted, or to get him to admit to wrongdoing.  McEnany pointed to text messages from Peter Strzok saying, “Hey, don’t close RAZOR [Operation Crossfire Razor].

If you weren’t able to catch the press briefing, the link is here.

During the same briefing resident douchebag Jim Acosta revealed his fear of catching the Chinese Lung Rot and asked McEnany about contact tracing since it was reported that VP Pence’s spokeswoman, Katie Miller, had tested positive for the virus.  Each member of the WH press pool are tested.  Here we see Jimbo dutifully wearing a face mask looking a little drowsy.  It immediately brought to mind the My Pillow ads.

On Wednesday of this week, out of the clear blue, fat-ass has-been drug and alcohol-addicted rocker Axl Rose decided to pick a Twitter fight with Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.  Some folks entered the fray in defense of Mnuchin.  Someone you might be familiar with was one of them.

It’s official! Whatever anyone may have previously thought of Steve Mnuchin he’s officially an asshole.

— Axl Rose (@axlrose) May 6, 2020

INBOX: @stevenmnuchin1 @axlrose @ComfortablySmug

BTW, those “fat photos” of you are STILL on the Internet. Ha ha ha. pic.twitter.com/S0akvMiRub

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) May 7, 2020

Not to belabor the point, but Joe Biden is pathetic.  His virtual rallies are a farce.  The video quality is glitchy, pixelated and moves at a snail’s pace.  What the hell is Biden’s team doing?  It’s elder abuse I tell ya.  I think it’s a bad omen for his election chances.  Here are my thoughts and tweets on the matter.

Not only can the Left 𝙉𝙊𝙏 meme, they can't even get their nominee to leave his basement which will lead inevitably to this... pic.twitter.com/EWbhunhtvQ

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) May 9, 2020

The Disgraceful Plot To Illegally Exonerate Hillary Clinton

The More Powerful The Perpetrator, The Greater Her Prerogative To Define Reality

On January 4th of this year, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), senior member of the Committee, delivered a letter to Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and FBI Director Christopher Wray referring Trump dossier author Christopher Steele for criminal investigation for lying to federal authorities. To support the referral, they attached documentation showing direct communications between the British spy and “multiple U.S. news outlets”.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), ranking member of the Committee, slammed the referral claiming it contains “numerous flaws and omits facts.”  She also contends the Grassley/Graham letter attempts to “undermine the FBI and cast aspersions on Special Counsel Mueller’s investigation.”

One name recently linked to the dossier is Daniel Jones, a former investigator for Sen. Feinstein when she chaired the Senate Intelligence Committee.

Soon after reports of the Grassley/Graham letter emerged, Joe DiGenova began warning the public about “the weaponization of the FBI for political purposes by all the people at the upper echelon of the Bureau.” 

DiGenova is not a nobody.  In 1992, he was appointed Independent Counsel in the Clinton Passport File Search matter.  As United States Attorney, District of Columbia, he supervised federal criminal and civil matters including public corruption, espionage, fraud and international terrorism. He led the prosecution of Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard.  He was the Principal Assistant U.S. Attorney during the prosecution of attempted Reagan assassin, John Hinckley. He has also served as Chief Counsel and Staff Director of the Senate Rules Committee and Counsel to the Senate Judiciary, Governmental Affairs and Select Intelligence Committees.

About the “weaponization” of the FBI; it’s important to keep in mind the following tick-tock:

Obama’s Attorney General, Eric Holder left the Department of Justice on September 25, 2014.  The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer appointed former President Bill Clinton’s nominee for U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, Loretta Lynch, to replace Holder as AG.  Lynch was confirmed on April 23, 2015.  A month-and-a-half later, Donald Trump announced his candidacy for president on June 16, 2015.

During Lynch’s confirmation hearings she generally defended the president’s policies but did say she viewed the role of the Justice Department as being an independent constitutional authority whose clients are the American people, not the president or Congress. I needn’t remind you she scandalously met with Bill Clinton on the tarmac at the Phoenix airport on June 30, 2016.

Lynch, at the time, painted an innocent portrait of their curious conversation. “Our conversation was a great deal about grandchildren, it was primarily social about our travels and he mentioned golf he played in Phoenix.”

Back to DiGenova.  He ominously began speaking out about the shenanigans at the FBI after the release of the Grassley/Graham letter. 

"This is the worst period in the history of the bureau─much worse than the late [J. Edgar] Hoover period when they were spying on domestic groups. This was the weaponization of the FBI for political purposes by all the people at the upper echelon of the bureau."

"There is enough evidence on the public record with the information from the Inspector General and from The Hill with the legal release of documents, that it is clear Mr. McCabe and others engaged in highly improper, probably illegal activity in the FISA court stuff along with the dossier from Christopher Steele."

"This is a dark moment for the FBI," DiGenova declared. "It's gonna to take a lot for them to recover from this. Comey was a dirty cop and unfortunately he dirtied up everybody else around him," DiGenova concluded.

In his May 2017 testimony before the House Intelligence Committee, former CIA Director John Brennan emphatically denied the dossier factored into the Intelligence Community’s publicly released conclusion last year that Russia meddled in the 2016 election "to help Trump’s chances of victory.”  He also swore he did not know who commissioned the dossier even though officials at the DOJ and FBI knew it had been paid for by Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes plans to release a separate report detailing the Obama State Department’s role in creating and disseminating the dossier─which has emerged as the foundation of the Obama Administration's Russia “collusion” investigation. Among other things, the report will identify diplomats who worked with partisan operatives close to Hillary to help ex-British spy Christopher Steele compile the dossier.

Nunes will focus on Brennan as well as Obama’s first CIA director, Leon Panetta, along with the former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and National Security Adviser Susan Rice as well as UN Ambassador Samantha Power.

According to Real Clear Investigations, several Capitol Hill sources say “Brennan was a fiercely loyal Obama appointee who talked up the dossier to Democratic leaders, as well as the press during the campaign. They say he also fed allegations about Trump-Russia contacts directly to the FBI, while pressuring the Bureau to conduct an investigation of several Trump campaign figures starting in the summer of 2016.”

Just weeks before Trump was inaugurated, investigators say Brennan made certain the contents of the dossier were attached to Obama’s Presidential Daily Briefing. The contents of the PDB were then leaked to the media.

Brennan later swore the dossier did not “in any way” factor into the CIA's assessment that Russia interfered in the election to help Trump. However, congressional investigators suggest a still-classified version of the January 2017 intelligence report contradicts his claim. 

"I'm pretty troubled by what I read in the documents with respect to the role the State Department played in the fall of 2016, including information that was used in a court proceeding. I am troubled by it," said Rep. Trey Gowdy, a member of the House Intelligence Committee.

Last week, perhaps not coincidentally, Brennan signed a contract with NBC News and MSNBC to be their “senior national security and intelligence analyst.”

Release The Memo

The clock is still ticking for the HPSCI  memo release to the American public. The top level management of the FBI and the dems are figuratively (literally?) losing their minds over this. I love it.

FBI Director Christopher Wray publicly clashed with President Donald Trump on Wednesday over a controversial Republican intelligence memo, furthering the rift between the President and the agency investigating ties between his campaign and Russia.  

 Wray sent a striking signal to the White House, issuing a rare public warning that the memo about the FBI's surveillance practices omits key information that could impact its veracity. The move set up an ugly confrontation between Wray and Trump, who wants the document released.

"With regard to the House Intelligence Committee's memorandum, the FBI was provided a limited opportunity to review this memo the day before the committee voted to release it," the FBI said in a statement. "As expressed during our initial review, we have grave concerns about material omissions of fact that fundamentally impact the memo's accuracy." 

To put this in perspective, newly appointed FBI Director Wray is fighting to have the memo scotched as he maintains it has some inaccuracies. He says this despite after reading the memo last Sunday that he supposedly was "shocked to his core." I guess his core prefers to be shaken, not stirred.

The HPSCI memo is a four page document; it is not a detailed report, not an analysis. Memo is short for memorandum which is:

An informal record, in the form of a brief written note or outline, of a particular legal transaction or document for the purpose of aiding the parties in remembering particular points or for future reference.

With all the hysterical blubbering from the liberals you'd think that it was a Declaration of War instead.

Well, perhaps it is... 

A Skunk By Any Other Name...

Right Jabs For Sunday September 4, 2016

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The Taxpayers and the Clinton Server

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Meet the mastermind behind Clinton’s massive email coverup

Smoke Getting’ To Ya Granny?

Remember last week when Granny Clinton pushed back on published reports that she took meetings with Clinton Foundation donors while working at the State Department?

She nonchalantly declared, “I know there’s a lot of smoke and there’s no fire.”

Well sir, the smell of a fully engulfed pantsuit on fire is beginning to fill the air.  Today’s revelations resulting from scores of pages published by the FBI summarizing interviews with Clinton and her top aides demonstrate her flagrant scheme to prevent a full public accounting of her tenure at State and her “extreme carelessness” with regard to decisions involving national security consequences and the risks involved.

1. She cited her 2012 concussion as the reason that she cannot remember details of briefings during her "transition out of office."

2. She said she never even thought whether emails she exchanged on a future US drone attack should be classified.

3. She said she thought the "C" before a paragraph indicated alphabetical order. The C actually stands for "classified."

4. She said no one ever raised concerns to her about her use of a private email server.

5. She said she could not recall any training on how to handle classified information.

These statements are damning when you're trying to look like a competent and alert leader.  

Hillary Clinton, who said she had her private email for convenience, had 13 mobile devices and 5 iPads, according to FBI.

— Matt Viser (@mviser) September 2, 2016

MORE: Clinton aides said she often replaced her Blackberry and whereabouts of the old device would 'frequently become unknown' - FBI

— Reuters Politics (@ReutersPolitics) September 2, 2016

"I want the public to see my email."
::three weeks later::
"OH SHIT DELETE DELETE DELETE" pic.twitter.com/DgROas6jN4

— Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) September 2, 2016

Yes, a woman who frequently loses her phone with classified emails on it should definitely have the nuclear codes. https://t.co/ZzbXlh6Lxp

— Razor (@hale_razor) September 2, 2016

Madame Mao Indictment? “It Will Be Like Watergate. It Will Be Unbelievable.”

The Daily Mail is reporting today that Joe DiGenova, a one-time federal prosecutor originally appointed by President Reagan, told conservative radio host Laura Ingraham Tuesday that the FBI's still-pending investigation of Clinton's email server seems to have reached a critical mass.

DiGenova warned the decision to charge Clinton personally with a crime lies with Attorney General Loretta Lynch, putting the Obama administration in a difficult political position.

"I believe that the evidence that the FBI is compiling will be so compelling that, unless [Lynch] agrees to the charges, there will be a massive revolt inside the FBI, which she will not be able to survive as an attorney general. It will be like Watergate. It will be unbelievable," DiGenova said.

“The evidence against the Clinton staff and the secretary is so overwhelming at this point that if, in fact, she chooses not to charge Hillary, they will never be able to charge another federal employee with the negligent handling of classified information,” DiGenova continued.

“The intelligence community will not stand for that. They will fight for indictment and they are already in the process of gearing themselves to basically revolt if she refuses to bring charges.”

See also:  Clinton could face a criminal indictment from the FBI within the next 60 days.

She Cackles Like A Witch

The Ice Cube In Heels thinks she’s going to breeze through the debacle called Benghazi which, in another more just time, would have her in an orange jumpsuit. 

Why is she laughing?  What is wrong with this woman?  Does she think that everyone within the sound of her voice is on government medication?

An American ambassador is dead.  His residence was burned to the ground. Three other Americans are dead. 

To all the press poodles and sycophants of the Progressive Left saying the Benghazi hearing is a witch hunt, we say FOUND HER.

Hey, You Can’t Take My Shady Shit

The woman who stood in front of four flag-draped caskets and lied her ass off is feeling the heat from a digital dragnet that has expanded to include a probe by the FBI into a second tech company, Connecticut-based Datto, Inc., which was hired to help back up data from her server.

Datto’s work on the Clinton e-mail system became public Tuesday when the Republican chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee sent the company a lengthy letter seeking information about the role it and other firms played in managing the Clinton e-mail system.

The letter to Datto from Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) cited e-mails and other documents that have been turned over to the committee by Platte River in recent weeks that show a more complicated array of companies involved in managing the Clinton e-mail system than had previously been publicly known.

The letter, in requesting additional information, describes a Clinton family entity called Clinton Executive Service, which contracted with Platte River after Hillary Clinton left the State Department.

The letter cites some colorful internal e-mails from Platte River that were sent in August as the company’s role in the controversy gained widespread attention.

In one exchange, a Platte River employee working on the Clinton account discusses with a colleague whether there was a written record of a “directive to cut the backup.”

The context is not clear, but it suggests there was growing anxiety over how the system was managed and who would be held responsible.  At about the time of that exchange, Platte River had been in discussions with Datto about the length of time Clinton e-mail data was preserved and whether copies were saved, according to a person familiar with the discussions.

“If we had that email we are golden,” the employee wrote.  “Starting to think this whole thing really is covering up some shady shit.”

According to Politico, a Platte River spokesman said they weren’t supposed to be doing the cloud backup and the client, Clinton, had never asked for such a backup.

“Datto was never supposed to have a cloud…We specifically instructed Datto to only keep 30 days of information onsite and what they did, against our explicate instructions was to build a cloud and put this information on a cloud,” said company spokesman Andy Boian. “So I don’t know what was on the cloud because they violated the exact instruction we gave them.

The Clinton campaign blasted Johnson for trying to sensationalize the matter for political points.  But Politifact calls the Clinton claim the Benghazi probe is Congress’ longest FALSE.

The FBI seized four computer servers located at the State Department’s Headquarters as part of its probe into how classified information was compromised on the Ice Cube in Heel’s private email system, according to people familiar with the investigation.

The clanging noise you probably heard was Clinton’s asshole slamming shut.

There is more evidence Monica Lewinsky was part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy than that #Hillary turned over all her official emails.

— Mike aka Proof (@ProofBlog) October 6, 2015

The Ice Cube In Heels Tries “Angry Ice Cube” On For Size

During a “picturesque Potemkin Village pancake breakfast” with NBC’s Savannah Guthrie in Hollis, New Hampshire, The Ice Cube In Heels feigned indignation [beginning at vid mark 5:45] over a question regarding the House Select Committee on Benghazi.

“Look at the situation they chose to exploit, to go after me for political reasons: the death of four Americans in Benghazi. I knew the ambassador. I identified him. I asked him to go there. I asked the president to nominate him.  This committee was set up, as they have admitted, for the purpose of making a partisan political issue out of the deaths of four Americans. I would have never done that,” said The Now-Angry Ice Cube In Heels.

She went on to say, “If I was the president and there were Republicans or Democrats who were thinking about that I would have done everything to shut it down.”

Sounds like she was taking a dig at The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer doesn’t it?  What the Ice Cube failed to mention in her outburst was that she failed to protect the very ambassador she “knew” and “identified”.  It was she who falsely claimed that a YouTube™ video triggered the attack that killed the ambassador she “knew” and it was she who sent Susan Rice to go on five Sunday talk shows and knowingly lie about the death of the ambassador she “knew”.  Oh, and most importantly, she didn’t say a peep about the Select Committee’s discovery of her private email server.

A colossal blunder by House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy recently gave Clinton the opportunity to try the witch hunt card again by claiming that the Benghazi Select Committee had diminished her political ambitions.

In a published report from The Hill, we are told that Democrats on the Benghazi Committee are “now running a protection effort for the former Secretary.”  They released portions of a secret transcript containing the testimony of Clinton aide and confidante Cheryl Mills and threatened to release the full transcript via a letter to Chairman Trey Gowdy.

Gowdy spokesman Jamal Ware said of the Democrats’ actions today, “It is one thing to merely sit idly by while others do serious work, it is quite another to attempt to undercut their work with selective leaks in violation of House Rules.”

Ed Klein, author of “Unlikeable:  The Problem With Hillary”, wrote that Hillary is vulnerable but is acting as though the trouble she’s in is merely a political smear job by right-wing zealots.

He also notes that a Clinton confidante of 30 years has repeatedly advised her that “this FBI email investigation could go in a very dangerous direction very quickly” and that she should “lawyer up.”  “There is going to be blood in the water.  The investigators are looking for weak links to get to the bottom of what went on with Hillary’s national security emails and I’m afraid they will find it.”

Ambassador Chris Stevens could not be reached for comment.

Braying Ass Defends Hillary’s Secret Email Server

Former Vermont Governor, Howard Dean, whose presidential campaign was torpedoed by a blood-curdling scream heard 'round the world appeared this morning on MSNBC’s Morning Joe to defend Hillary’s secret email server.  The cast immediately mocked him as a partisan hack.

According to The Washington Post, much of the classified information in the email conversations on her server originated with the CIA, according to two government officials familiar with the records. Some of the information was deemed to be classified by the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency’s classification guidelines. The information included references to information related to satellite images and electronic communications, according to the officials.

Tuesday evening as news broke that the FBI demanded Cankles surrender her private home server, Chairman of the House Select Committee on Benghazi, Trey Gowdy released the following statement:

“For months the Select Committee on Benghazi has called on Secretary Clinton to turn over her server to a neutral, detached third party for independent forensic examination. She refused every entreat.  Secretary Clinton said she created this unusual email arrangement with herself for ‘convenience.’ It may have been convenient for her, but it has been troubling at multiple levels for the rest of the country.”

“Congress, the media, the public, private litigants and FOIA requestors were denied access to public documents, and recently the Inspectors General for two separate Executive Branch entities expressed concern about the possible exposure of classified material as a direct result of her decision to eschew the email rules applicable to everyone else and create her own.” 

“The IC [IntelligenceCommunity] Inspector General revealed Secretary Clinton’s emails and server contained not just ‘top secret’ classified information, but ‘compartmented’ classified intelligence not releasable to foreigners, which must be noted in the timing of this announcement. This is a serious national security issue, and the seriousness of it should transcend normal, partisan politics.” 

“The revelation that Secretary Clinton exclusively used private email for official public business, and the multitude of issues that emanated from her decision, including this most recent one, demonstrates what can happen when Congress and those equally committed to exposing the truth, doggedly pursue facts and follow them.” 

A lefty website reports that a new Monmouth University survey finds that “52 percent of registered voters think that Clinton’s emails should be investigated in a criminal probe.”

This morning as the full impact of this bombshell is sending shockwaves through the Democratic Party and the Hillary camp, Trey Gowdy appeared on Fox News.  Below is the interview:

Top Secret Cow

Revelations that dozens of Clinton’s emails now include classified information has prompted an FBI inquiry into whether classified information was improperly stored on her private server and a thumb drive held by her attorney. The news has sparked fear among national security experts that the federal government’s secrets may have been exposed or even hacked. However, the two inspectors general said the material in Clinton’s email was not marked as classified at the time. The FBI declined to comment.

Clinton, who has repeatedly denied she ever sent or received classified information, has attempted to downplay the scrutiny as mere partisan attacks, but questions about her judgment and motive for setting up a private server in her Chappaqua house in 2009 continue to dog her. Her campaign declined to comment.

Quoting Allahpundit:  “Hillary’s perp walk will be the greatest moment of live TV since the moon landing. “

"ohhhhhh, you meant THESE emails." #whydidntyousayso

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 11, 2015

John, If Things Are So Peachy, Why The Long Face?

I never tire to resurrecting that question when it comes to John Forbes Kerry.  Ketchup Boy, who testified before the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee on Wednesday, said:

“And frankly—and last thing, this is counterintuitive but it’s true: Our citizens, our world today is actually, despite ISIL, despite the visible killings that you see and how horrific they are, we are actually living in a period of less daily threat to Americans and to people in the world than normally— less deaths, less violent deaths today than through the last century. And so even the concept of state war has changed in many people’s minds, and we’re seeing now more asymmetrical kinds of struggles.”

Utter stupidity has no limits. 

“The Islamic State awaits the army of ‘Rome,’ whose defeat at Dabiq, Syria, will initiate the countdown to the apocalypse,’ wrote Graeme Wood at The Atlantic.

FBI Director James Comey has said his bureau is investigating possible ISIS supporters in all 50 states.

James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence, starkly testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee, “When the final accounting is done, 2014 will have been the most lethal year for global terrorism in the 45 years such data has been compiled.

Here’s the pull quote from The Washington Times:

“If ISIL were to substantially increase the priority it places on attacking the West rather than fighting to maintain and expand territorial control, then the group’s access to radicalized Westerners who have fought in Syria and Iraq would provide a pool of operatives who potentially have access to the United States and other Western countries,” he said. “Since the conflict began in 2011, more than 20,000 foreign fighters—at least 3,400 of whom are Westerners—have gone to Syria from more than 90 countries.”