Saturday Satire

On Thursday the White House unveiled guidelines for “Opening Up America Again” outlining a phased approach to restoring normal commerce and services, but only for places with strong testing and seeing a decrease in COVID-19 cases.

In the days before this announcement, President Trump was savagely destroying the Democrat Media Complex.

President Trump was challenged at Monday's coronavirus press briefing for the way his administration has responded to the coronavirus crisis when he played a video criticizing the media’s reactions throughout this Chop Sticky Sicky pandemic. It was a bitch-slap of epic proportion.

So effective was the video that CBS White House Correspondent Paula Reid argued disrespectfully with the President asking what he did with the time after he ordered a ban on travel to the United States for anyone coming from China and Europe in January and the initialization of his Administration’s response to the outbreak.

What did you do with the time that bought you?  The video has a complete gap for the month of February,” she snarled.  “Are these rants supposed to make people feel confident?”

The timeline provided great detail of every step the Trump Administration took to slow the spread and prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed with active cases of the disease.

"Look, look, you know you're a fake. You know that. Your whole network, the way you cover it is fake. And most of you, not all of you, but the people are wise to you. That's why you have a lower approval rating than you ever had before," Trump said.

At Tuesday's coronavirus press briefing, President Trump announced he was halting U.S. funding of the World Health Organization (WHO) after several errors were made which shielded China from scrutiny and the pissing and moaning from the press went into effing overdrive.

In 2018-19, the U.S. contributed nearly $900 million to WHO's budget. That was about one-fifth of the organization's $4.4 billion budget for those years.

A more detailed WHO budget document provided by the U.S. mission in Geneva showed that in 2019, the United States provided $452 million, including nearly $119 million in assessed funding. In its most recent budget proposal from February, the Trump administration called for slashing the U.S. assessed funding contribution to the WHO to $57.9 million.

During the briefing, CNN’s Jim Acosta shared via Twitter a running list of "scapegoats" he accused the President of blaming. "Scapegoats blamed by Trump for Coronavirus pandemic: World Health Organization, Members of News Media, Democrats in Congress, Governors, (Not himself)," Acosta tweeted later adding, “Other scapegoats blamed by Trump: China, Obama Administration.”

Jim Acosta loves nothing more than Jim Acosta and he is totally oblivious to the fact he makes everyone in the press look bad and is actually helping the President get re-elected.

Also on Tuesday, The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer endorsed Joe Biden’s candidacy for President.  Speculation began to swirl on the Twitter machine about who Corn Pop’s nemesis would pick to be his running mate. The top picks were Pocahontas and Kamala “Spank Me” Harris. 

I had a lot of fun Thursday poking fun at the idiots running Biden’s digital campaign.  The geniuses put up a website encouraging Sleepy Joe’s supporters to help him come up with a code for his campaign.  You never intervene when your enemy is destroying himself but I took pity on the bumbling fool.

I shouldn't be helping you Joe, but I feel sorry for you. So here's a code: pic.twitter.com/1eOggu09wt

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 16, 2020

The same clueless dolts were also encouraging Joe’s supporters to create their own avatar declaring they were on Team Joe.  Talk about a disaster.  A bajillion people had a heyday with this one.  So did yours truly. 

@realDonaldTrump The Biden campaign is urging his supporters to create an avatar. Here's mine. What do you think of it? pic.twitter.com/9uNrFrZTRd

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 16, 2020

pic.twitter.com/NrmQ4c5rld

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 17, 2020

Friday, April 17^th was Jim Acosta’s birthday.  Communist China celebrated the illustrious day for its chief mouthpiece.  2020 is, after all, the Year of the Rat.  I shit you not. 

One of the richest members of Congress, Nancy Pelosi, went on late night TV to share with America how’s she coping during the awful mess China wrought on the world.  She did so from her ivory tower perched on a barstool in her kitchen.  She gave us a tour of the freezer chocked full of $13-a-pint Jeni’s gourmet chocolate ice cream found in her $24,000 fridges all while cheering on her Democrat minions for blocking desperately needed coronavirus relief for small businesses.

Many are confused as to why this woman would act this way.  Wonder no more. I have the answer:

#BatAppreciationDay was trending on Twitter yesterday.  Again, I shit you not.  Here is where I quote the evil Vizzini from The Princess Bride wherein he says, “I don't think that word means what you think it means.”

At least four federal class-action lawsuits have been filed against the Chinese government that aim to recover trillions of dollars in damages for what plaintiffs allege is China's failure to contain the coronavirus outbreak and notify the international community about its dangers.

The plaintiffs claim that the Chinese government intentionally misled the international community about the coronavirus and its devastating medical and economic consequences.

I’m a boomer so I used Saturday Night Fever as my way of pointing to the cavalier manner in which Red China danced around for more than two months before saying a peep.  I like what one person said:  “This is China’s Chernobyl moment.”