Have Dog Will Travel

As you grow older, just staying alive can become a full-time job.  That means you need to take a vacation.  I ascribe to the axiom:  Life’s short. Eat dessert first, work less and vacation more!

Vacation heals a weary mind and soul.

I’m headed to the beach where I will be walking past rows of beach chairs and weaving between sunbathers and Frisbee games and people flying kites on a sandy shore.  The intoxicating smell of the salty air and the mist of the sea will be my nirvana for the next couple of weeks.  My only fear will be whether a seagull poops on my head.

Sophie The Wonderdog and I will be visiting once again with my bestest friend of 40-plus years.  My itinerary includes little more than dining on fresh seafood at my favorite over-the-ocean restaurant, binge-watching movies and shopping.  Sophie will enjoy being with her little buddies Teddy and Tika.

Fear not!  I have already queued up the regular Sunday postings of “A Walk On The Wild Side” and the Monday postings of “Flowing Curves Of Beauty”.  Hopefully, co-bloggers Proof and Sig94 will fill in for me by posting something of interest in my absence.

#SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation

You need imaginative selfie skills to impress your friends pic.twitter.com/FCRYuT49Bc

— Helen 🌼📚🌺 (@HelenMaryMe) April 2, 2018

You're just staring at your screen saver pretending you're there...#SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation pic.twitter.com/dlySQVYX7F

— OSU Bucks Dad (@AJBorland) April 2, 2018

👻☮️🐱 #SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation the floor show isn't top notch... pic.twitter.com/2TqqgeXwZk

— Johnny E. Awesome (@JohnnyEAwesome) April 2, 2018

#SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation
The moose at the park entrance didn't tell you it was closed. pic.twitter.com/d7qv61sDf5

— Toxic Masculini-G (@TCC_Grouchy) April 2, 2018

#SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation

Dammit! The brochure clearly stated "featuring our Frolicking Dolphins Cruise". pic.twitter.com/Cb0XUSJfOO

— ✌Mark Bonnet🤘 (@Mytquinn69) April 2, 2018

#SignsYoureOnABudgetVacation Have to wear bubble wrap because the motel stairwell doesn't have handrails. pic.twitter.com/F6miWOnO21

— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) April 2, 2018

Vacation Mode Activated

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
─Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

Back in mid-October of last year I received an alarming phone call at 6:00 AM from my best friend of 40-plus years.  She informed me she was having her daughter-in-law take her to the emergency room.  Her son rushed to her side and called for an ambulance instead.

I travelled to the beach to visit her in-hospital for what I thought would be the last time I would ever see my best friend alive.  

To make a long story short, she was placed in intensive care and very nearly died.  She was released from the hospital 18 days later.  She had suffered from cerebral hypoxia, a depravation of oxygen to the brain, and suffered substantial memory loss.  Mercifully, her memory has mostly returned.

Its time to visit my friend again so, I am packing up the PT Cruiser and Sophie The Wonderdog and heading to the beach to see my best good friend for a couple of weeks and celebrate her 77th birthday. 

While I’m away, co-bloggers Proof and Sig94 will keep an eye on the place. I have queued up the ladies for the regular Monday feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty”.  The rest will be up to the guys.  

No Co-Inky Dinky

President Trump will be embarking on his first foreign trip on Friday May 19th.  His first stop will be Riyadh, Saudi Arabia before heading on to Jerusalem and Rome.  While in Israel, the president will begin the process of negotiating a peace agreement between the Israelis and Palestinians.  Following his visit to the Vatican, the President will attend a NATO meeting that opens on May 24.  At the conclusion of that meeting, he will travel to Sicily where he will meet with leaders of the G7 on May 26th.

It is not a coincidence that yours truly, Curmudgeon, will be heading out of town on the 18th and will return on May 30.

PT Cruiser One will be co-piloted by Sophie The Wonderdog.  Our mission will be to bird watch at Atalaya Castle and seek the surrender of delicious sea life from a beautiful yacht with massive carbon-intensive diesel engines.  Joining us later will be a friend whom I have not seen in years.  Our itinerary will include oodles of shopping and a spaghetti dinner with all the fixin’s and plenty of handing tasty tidbits under the table to Sophie and her little friends Tika and Teddy. 

The remainder of my itinerary is super-secret.  I like to infuriate Chuck Schumer so my press secretary has purposely been kept out of the loop to prevent any leaks and will no doubt be lambasted on SNL as a result.  In case that North Korean fat kid gets lucky and gets another missile up, my travel agent will contact my personal bodyguard who will deliver my daily brief in a manila envelope sealed with half a roll of duct tape and Gorilla Glue®.

During my hiatus, co-bloggers Proof and Sig94 will be in charge just like Alexander Haig thought he was when Reagan was shot.  They have been given the keys to the liquor cabinet.  I have already notified the local chief of police to monitor Casa de Curmudgeon to insure neither of these guys demolishes the joint.

There will be no tagging the boulders in my rock garden with graffiti.  There will be no peeing in the Koi pond.  There will be no allowing the g-d squirrels to belly up to the bar.  There will be no charging a topless maid service to my credit card.  There will be no ashes, beer cans or peanut shells littering the floor.  There will be no placing calls to phone sex centers and no visiting pay-per-view porn sites on my Internet connection.

Our regular Monday morning feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” are all queued up, so no worries there.

I hope everyone enjoys a safe and Happy Memorial Day weekend.  Just remember it is a day to honor America’s bravest sons and daughters who answered the call to defend their nation and, in so doing, made the greatest sacrifice of all.

Proof In Charge

Your humble blogger will be on hiatus for the next two weeks.  While I’m enjoying the sun and fun at the beach, co-blogger and long-time friend Proof will be in complete charge of the joint.

Sophie The Wonderdog is looking forward to spending time with her little buddies Tika and Teddy and being spoiled rotten by my friend of 40+ years.

I put up a banner saluting the king of absurdity, Al Franken AKA Stuart Smalley.  He deserves to be mocked hard and often.  The banner is my contribution.

Proof has the keys to the liquor cabinet.  Go easy on the guy while I’m gone.  And don’t worry…I made sure the ladies for our regular Monday feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” are queued up. (I can’t afford to have Proof post another round of Star Trek babes.)

Take care.  See ya on the flip side.

Proof And Adrienne In Charge

Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.

I’m taking a week away from blogging.  I just celebrated my 64th birthday and the second anniversary of my retirement.

Sophie The Wonderdog will be riding shotgun in the PT Cruiser as we head to the beach to visit my friend of 40-plus years.  The plans include attending a bridal shower for a friend, binge-watching movies and pigging out on some fresh seafood.

While I’m away Proof and Adrienne have the keys to the liquor cabinet.  I suspect Proof will let the squirrels belly up to the bar and take a dip in the pool.  Adrienne will try to keep Proof and the squirrels from wrecking Casa de Curmudgeon.

You fellas out there don’t need to worry.  I’ve got our regular Monday morning feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” queued up. 

As always Proof, Adrienne and I appreciate your loyal readership.  Take care everybody.  See ya on the flip side.

Change of Plans, Apparently

Bad news, Proof.  Ten long days of holding down the fort, and all we got was this stupid post card.  At least somebody's having fun.  I just hope we get a couple of PJ Media T-shirts out of this!

Curmudgeon's Beach Vacation Hits Its First Snag

Should have gone with WordPress, Chief.  I keep telling you.  And too bad about that Nor'Easter that just slammed you folks all the way down into the Carolinas.  Out west, the weather's actually pretty good for once.  So, we're having a Nor'Easter Party!  At least until Blogger shuts down commenting entirely, and then we'll just have to drink quietly.  Until then, drinks are on the house, Everybody!  Happy Friday!

Another Squirrel Party

My bestest friend of 40+ years will be celebrating her 75^th birthday next Thursday.  So I am loading up the car and heading to the beach tomorrow morning to celebrate this milestone with her family.

I will be traveling through enemy country because my beloved Alabama Crimson Tide defeated the Clemson Tigers in the College Football National Championship Game.  My friend’s son is a devoted Clemson fan and, to make matters worse, is also a long-time fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Since Clemson lost to Alabama, the Steelers lost their playoff game to Denver and my Carolina Panthers beat the Seahawks I doubt that Ron is going to be very happy with me.

I said all that to say that the keys to the liquor cabinet are once again being handed to Proof of Proof Positive and The Grunt of Monte Cristo to provide content while I’m away celebrating my friend’s birthday.

Both Proof and Grunt have proven to be scalawags during my vacays including shenanigans with my Hümmel collection and letting squirrels in the house to wreak havoc inside Casa de Curmudgeon.

My attorney has already drawn up papers advising them both that impugning my good name will not be tolerated.  So if either one of them posts some fractured fairy tale about me don’t you dare believe ‘em!

Pomchi On Board

Beginning today, I’ll be on the road with my little furkid Sophie for two weeks.  My plans include visiting my best friend at the beach and then heading to Hotlanta to catch the home stand of the Braves against the Washington Nationals.

So far the Nats are 7-7 and my Bravos are 8-5.  Atlanta is on the road battling their division rivals the Mets who lead the NL East 11-3.  Next week the Nats come to Hotlanta and I will be there rooting for my boys.  My seat is behind the Bravos’ dugout.  I’ll be wearing my home jersey, a Braves ball cap and holding a cool, refreshing brewski so you should be able to pick me out of the crowd pretty easily if you catch the games on TV. *snicker*

I’ll get to the Ted (Turner Field) a few hours early to watch batting practice and get some autographs to add to my awesome collection of Braves memorabilia.  I hope my boys are able to beat the Nats.  If they do, I’ll being tweeting their No. 1 fan, Dr. Charles Krauthammer, to give him some guff.  If my Braves lose, of course, I’ll keep my big mouth shut.

While I’m away, co-blogger Proof will keep the place going with content.  This time however, I’ve queued up “Flowing Curves of Beauty” so there won’t be any Star Trek hotties unless, of course, Proof decides to throw some in the mix.

I am always grateful to Proof for taking the reins here when I’m on my “Obama-esque” vacations.  Meanwhile, thanks to all of you for your loyal readership.  Take care out there.

Rested And Thankful

I just returned from a little vacation to the home of my best friend of 40-plus years.  I was able to spend some quiet time sitting on the patio beneath a pergola overlooking a waterfront alive with egrets, mallards, swans, turtles and fish.  The turtles and fish were an item of interest for the next-door neighbor’s black lab, Skeeter, who regularly leaped into the little channel and swam around chasing them to her great amusement.

During my visit the temperatures ranged in the mid-70s with clear, blue skies.  The weather was perfect for a couple of rounds of golf at the Burning Ridge Golf Club adjacent to Myrtle Trace Retirement Community where my friend lives and we moseyed over to the horseshoe pits and bocce ball courts for a little outdoor fun with some of the other homeowners of Myrtle Trace.

We took a road trip to visit Atalaya Castle at Huntington Beach State Park and then enjoyed an extraordinary dinner at Folly Beach’s BLU Restaurant and Bar.  I selected petite Charleston crab cakes with a Cajun remoulade, barbeque jumbo shrimp wrapped with bacon, grilled swordfish with creamy polenta, summer vegetable gratin, a strawberry salad with candied pecans and a honey and fig vinaigrette dressing and a truly delicious 2005 Trimbach Gewürztraminer Seigneurs de Ribeaupierre wine. 

We lingered at our table watching pelicans by the dozens as they flew by the massive windows that offered an unobstructed view of the ocean and concluded our dining experience with a raspberry and white chocolate bread pudding.  We were so full we had to be rolled out of the restaurant.

Later in the week I did a little shopping at Tanger Outlet and visited The Christmas Mouse at Barefoot Landing where I purchased a “Sprinkle of Magic” Snowbaby and a whole host of ornaments intended for the new Christmas tree I plan to buy this year.

My friend and I joined her son Ronnie and his “current” girlfriend, her nephew Cole and his squeeze Erin at Buffalo Wild Wings to play Team Trivia.  We were angling for the $50 prize.

The “Ronald McDonalds” were in First Place the entire game until the final question.  Teams were asked to arrange in the correct descending order the following:  What was Clementine’s shoe size?  What is Shaquille O’Neal’s shoe size?  How many points are on Kermit the Frog’s collar?  Crystal is given for which wedding anniversary?  You could wager up to 15 points and that’s just what we did. 

Correct Answer:  Shaq’s shoe size is 23; 15^th anniversary; 13 points; size 9

We didn’t have the correct number of points for Kermit’s collar so we lost, but we had a blast testing our trivia knowledge.

After packing up the car and putting Sophie in the front seat to ride shotgun, I said my good-byes to my friend and headed back north for Hendersonville to buy some Appalachian-grown apples.  I stopped at Coston Farm.  Coston’s is a 4th generation family-owned farm and apple orchard and its pet friendly.

I bought a bushel box of Honey Crisp apples, four ginormous pumpkins, some Indian corn and some fall decorations.  I enjoyed an apple cider slushie as I sat in a white rocking chair on the porch of the gift shop.  Sophie was the only pup there and everybody wanted to pet her.  She got spoiled from all the attention she received from customers and staff.  We hung around for about an hour stretching our legs and headed home.

Apple News: We have no more Ginger Gold, Honey Crisp or Gala apples for the season. We do have apple pies ma... http://t.co/S6wFmwIvJG
— Coston Farm (@CostonFarm) October 13, 2014

It’s good to get away but it is by far better to be home again.  Sophie is glad to be home so she can snooze on her own sofa once again.  Now, I’ve got to get busy baking a poopload of apple pies, homemade chunky applesauce with cinnamon and canning some apple butter.  I have everything I need to churn out the goodies except a bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy’s Apple Pie Schnapps for the apple butter.

Proof, proprietor of Proof Positive and co-blogger here at PCP, was kind enough to keep the motor running while I was vacationing by putting up several posts.  On Saturday, October 4th he posted “Powerful Ad Running Against Mary Landrieu” .  He followed that up with “There Goes The Neighborhood”, “The Return Of Ten Buck Friday”, “Panthers Vs Bengals” and finally, what has become a Monday regular favorite for the menfolk, “Flowing Curves Of Beauty”.

I thank him for taking on the task.  He’s a good guy when “his muse strikes so long as his muse is not on strike.”

I’m Going To Get Some Sand In My Shoes

Having recently retired it’s past time for me to take advantage of my new-found freedom.

I haven’t taken a vacation since last Thanksgiving and the time has come to travel to the beach to visit my best friend.  I plan to stay there a week and then head to the Great Smoky Mountains and take in the glorious fall foliage before returning home.

I need to clear my head about Ebola, ISIS, Washington scandals, beheadings, midterm elections and all the other chaos.  Blogging involves staying immersed in current events.  Honestly, I don’t think I can stand much more immersion.  I need a break.

I’m ready to walk along the beach checking out the hunky men, smelling the coconut-scented suntan lotion, getting sand in my shoes, feeling the ocean breeze blowing through my hair and enjoying the sunrise and sunset.

During my hiatus, Proof, will put up a post or two.