Vacation Mode Activated

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
─Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

Back in mid-October of last year I received an alarming phone call at 6:00 AM from my best friend of 40-plus years.  She informed me she was having her daughter-in-law take her to the emergency room.  Her son rushed to her side and called for an ambulance instead.

I travelled to the beach to visit her in-hospital for what I thought would be the last time I would ever see my best friend alive.  

To make a long story short, she was placed in intensive care and very nearly died.  She was released from the hospital 18 days later.  She had suffered from cerebral hypoxia, a depravation of oxygen to the brain, and suffered substantial memory loss.  Mercifully, her memory has mostly returned.

Its time to visit my friend again so, I am packing up the PT Cruiser and Sophie The Wonderdog and heading to the beach to see my best good friend for a couple of weeks and celebrate her 77th birthday. 

While I’m away, co-bloggers Proof and Sig94 will keep an eye on the place. I have queued up the ladies for the regular Monday feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty”.  The rest will be up to the guys.  

There Is Nothing Better Than A Friend, Unless It Is A Friend With Chocolate

L to R:  Sophie The Wonderdog, my friend, Teddy, Tika

Last Friday my plans to visit by best friend of 43 years were changed.

I received a call at 6:00 AM that morning from her telling me she had phoned her daughter-in-law to take her to the emergency room.  Ten minutes later she called me again to say she was feeling better.  I knew that was a lie.  I immediately contacted her son to let him know his mother was in trouble.  He rushed to her house and immediately called an ambulance to transport her to the ER.

My friend was intubated on arrival and remained on a ventilator for five days.  She was sedated as well.  I got hourly updates from her son and daughter-in-law and the news was not good.

On Wednesday morning the medical staff removed the tubing and placed my friend on a BI-PAP machine.  Her breathing continued to be labored and the nurses continued to suction out her lungs.

Last night after she’d finished her shift at work, her daughter-in-law went to the hospital.  My friend’s eyes were open but vacant.  Her daughter-in-law asked if she knew who she was.  As she gave me an accounting of her visit she began to cry─her voice was thick with heartbreak.  The reason:  she thought she was talking to me.  I did my best to console her daughter-in-law.

This morning her son entered her room in ICU to find a weak and confused mother.  He had heard about the night before and he was scared as he spoke with me.

I have tried to tie up all the loose ends here in anticipation of a lengthy stay with my friend.  The guilt I have felt over the last six days has been unbearable.  Despite the assurances of her family members that it was better for me to stay home than be there with her and feel helpless, I finally decided to leave immediately to be with my friend.

If she survives this medical emergency it will be a blessing.  The attending physician said that hypoxia is common in situations like this.  The hypoxia may or may not be permanent.

I know we all have to leave this life someday.  I’m just not ready to say “goodbye” to the best friend I’ve ever had.

While I’m away blogger friends Proof and Sig94 have agreed to hold down the fort here.  Sig recently broke his left shoulder in three places and is recuperating after being retrofitted with a new titanium shoulder.  His typing will be limited to the use of one hand and Proof, well, not sure what he’ll submit.  It’ll probably be a bunch of Star Trek babes.  I apologize in advance.

No Co-Inky Dinky

President Trump will be embarking on his first foreign trip on Friday May 19th.  His first stop will be Riyadh, Saudi Arabia before heading on to Jerusalem and Rome.  While in Israel, the president will begin the process of negotiating a peace agreement between the Israelis and Palestinians.  Following his visit to the Vatican, the President will attend a NATO meeting that opens on May 24.  At the conclusion of that meeting, he will travel to Sicily where he will meet with leaders of the G7 on May 26th.

It is not a coincidence that yours truly, Curmudgeon, will be heading out of town on the 18th and will return on May 30.

PT Cruiser One will be co-piloted by Sophie The Wonderdog.  Our mission will be to bird watch at Atalaya Castle and seek the surrender of delicious sea life from a beautiful yacht with massive carbon-intensive diesel engines.  Joining us later will be a friend whom I have not seen in years.  Our itinerary will include oodles of shopping and a spaghetti dinner with all the fixin’s and plenty of handing tasty tidbits under the table to Sophie and her little friends Tika and Teddy. 

The remainder of my itinerary is super-secret.  I like to infuriate Chuck Schumer so my press secretary has purposely been kept out of the loop to prevent any leaks and will no doubt be lambasted on SNL as a result.  In case that North Korean fat kid gets lucky and gets another missile up, my travel agent will contact my personal bodyguard who will deliver my daily brief in a manila envelope sealed with half a roll of duct tape and Gorilla Glue®.

During my hiatus, co-bloggers Proof and Sig94 will be in charge just like Alexander Haig thought he was when Reagan was shot.  They have been given the keys to the liquor cabinet.  I have already notified the local chief of police to monitor Casa de Curmudgeon to insure neither of these guys demolishes the joint.

There will be no tagging the boulders in my rock garden with graffiti.  There will be no peeing in the Koi pond.  There will be no allowing the g-d squirrels to belly up to the bar.  There will be no charging a topless maid service to my credit card.  There will be no ashes, beer cans or peanut shells littering the floor.  There will be no placing calls to phone sex centers and no visiting pay-per-view porn sites on my Internet connection.

Our regular Monday morning feature “Flowing Curves of Beauty” are all queued up, so no worries there.

I hope everyone enjoys a safe and Happy Memorial Day weekend.  Just remember it is a day to honor America’s bravest sons and daughters who answered the call to defend their nation and, in so doing, made the greatest sacrifice of all.