Carry On My Wayward Son

Regular readers of this blog may have noticed something terribly important has been missing.

The last time co-blogger Sig 94 published a blog post here was on May 24th. Since that time, he lost something soft and beautiful and bright; his beloved mother.

He didn’t feel like posting here at or at It Don’t Make Sense.  It’s been ten weeks and Sig announced yesterday he’s back.  After buying two new fishing rods and “some tasty lures” he has turned his grandson into a fishing fanatic.

We’d like to welcome back our old friend.  He has a post scheduled to go up here at 4:00 PM today.  I hope everyone will leave a comment letting him know we’re glad he is returning with his wit and wisdom.

The Robert Mueller Contest

Okaaaay ...

Curmudgeon forgot to lock the liquor cabinet, her ATV is buried in the swan pond and Proof is rummaging through her lingerie drawers (why so many?).

And there's freaking squirrels EVERYWHERE!
So it's

Time for a contest!

As most of you are aware, the DoJ has announced that a Special Counsel has been appointed to investigate possible Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential election. This despite contradictory evidence that:

• Russia did not "hack" the elections (as related by major intelligence officials);
• A murdered DNC employee provided over 40,000 Democratic Party emails to Wikileaks and the FBI refused to investigate this linkage;
• After screaming bloody murder that the Russians hacked DNC email servers, the DNC refused to allow the FBI to examine those same servers for evidence that the Russians did indeed gain illegal access to them;
• In violation of federal law, SecState Hillary Clinton installed a poorly protected email server in her bathroom on which she stored thousands of highly sensitive, classified Dept of State emails;
• Indeed, Hillary Clinton did not use her official government email account to conduct State Department business, again in violation of federal law;
• Huma Abedin, SecState Clinton's long term personal assistant, then backed up some of these classified emails to her personal laptop which her pervie husband, ex-Congressman Anthony "Hey, Lookee Here" Weiner, had access to.

Special Counsel Bob Mueller is going to have his hands full sifting through the numerous dangling participles of the Democrat's epic election woes saga. Indeed, this investigation will take many months of listening to chattering, prevaricating officials desperately trying to cover their asses avoid changing their address to that of a federal prison.

In preparation for this, Dear Reader, we should exercise due diligence and make an effort to anticipate the evolving narratives sure to arise that government officials will use to: 1) mask the rampant corruption of the Deep State, and 2) insulate the most prominent elected officials who have stood before a national audience and lied.

Now the contest.
Once Curmudgeon returns from her well deserved vacation, the three of us will sweep the squirrel s**t out of the house,  tow the ATV out of the pond, replace all the (cheap) liquor, bury the dead Koi fish and examine the responses entered by the contest participants. I will prime the pump, so to speak, with this:

"It was Putzini all along."

"Comey, you broke my heart!"

Biden: "I'm smaaaht! I can do things!"

Well, not really. Use your imagination.

For bonus points, we have started a Scapegoat Pool.

Who will the Democrats give up to the Mueller Inquisition?  Have no doubt; if Mueller starts to throw Democrats in jail, they will hoot and howl and scream about Political Prejudice and then suggest a token sacrifice or two to throw under the Big Yellow Indictment Bus.

What do you win?
Well, Proof hasn't returned everything from those drawers.

Prayers For A Friend

Sunday was Mother’s Day.  Those of us whose mothers are gone note the day with a bitter sweetness.  If your mother is still living then you know all love begins and ends there.

I just learned that co-blogger Sig94’s mother was placed in hospice care last week.  He thanked God for his mom in his blog post noting she had a hard life as a young mother of four.  He is steeling himself for the goodbye that is coming.

I hope you go by his place and offer your prayers, comfort and encouragement.  An old Irish proverb says, “A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”

Donald Trump, The "Love Pirate"

Donald Trump is ruining America. His assault on all that is good and holy is unconstrained by normal human conventions and considerations of faith, charity, love, hope and family. As Trump so rabidly despoiled the Democratic Party's Queen Mother, Hillary de Blanche Eau. he now continues to undermine the very foundations of America.

From the Washington Examiner:

Couples are fighting over President Trump more than ever, and many are turning to divorce court to get out of their politically ravaged marriages. 

New data from Wakefield Research found that one in 10 couples, married and not, have ended their relationships in a battle over political differences. 

For younger millennials, it's 22 percent. And nearly one in three Americans said that political clashes over Trump have "had a negative impact on their relationship," said the report provided to Secrets. 

"Since Donald Trump's election, political discourse in the U.S. has been more tense and divisive than ever," Wakefield said. 

In other words, Trump's election has removed the erection from the marital connection for a large section of millennials. What once raised it's proud head now reposes supine on a divided bed. And thus do I wax rhapsodic...

Once upon an election contested, by a liberal party invested

Over many a poll, that were skewed beyond belief.

While the Democrats were  napping, Trump's campaign was busy wrapping

Up the swing states when Hillary's campaign hit a reef.

"It's the Russians!" Hillary uttered, "It ain't us!" the pollsters muttered

And the pundits pondered conspiracies to explore:

Only this and nothing more. 

Ah, distinctly I remember it was only last November;

When the liberals waited for their Queen to say Trump was dead.

"It is Hillary!" they enthused, but they left teary-eyed and bruised

When their goddess trashed her suite of rooms instead.

And now millennial wives are sore and their husbands cannot score;

Quoth the liberal bitches, "Never more."

[...]"Passionately opposing points of views are not only driving wedges between strangers and even friends, but we are now seeing evidence that this dissent is having a detrimental impact on Americans' marriages and relationships," the report said.

This foul Republican tactic, also known as a matrimonial wedgie, yanks the Democrat's Thongs of Love up over the Ears of Harmony.

But don't worry, There's an Indian Princess in the wings and with enough liberal wampum she'll embarrass herself also. 

Danger Signs

Signs That You May Be In Danger: 

A dog shows its teeth and growls 

A bear stands on its hind legs and roars 

A bull paws the ground and lowers its head

A snake makes a raspy, rattling sound with its tail

A young, attractive woman has dreadlocks, facial and neck tattoos

This young woman stomped out her boyfriend's windshield and sun roof because... she had a reason. There is some confusion regarding the relationship between the defendant and the victim; the victim probably is her suddenly mass transportation using boyfriend.

Someone captured the destructive process on their, what else?, cellphone and she was arrested.

H/T Feral Irishman

Michelle Obama: Seal Of Disapproval

Arlington, VA, The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) has announced an exciting breakthrough in the development of space age adhesives and gasket seals. The announcement comes on the heels of tests that may have proved the reliability of the Frogs' Ass Pursed-Lips Fluoroelastomer seal.

The Frogs' Ass Pursed-Lips Fluoroelastomers (FAPLF) might possibly be used as high-performance seals that may or may not reliably resist heat, chemicals, acids, bases, and other challenging operating conditions and materials. Alternating copolymers reinforced by faux black outrage and government-inspired entitlement imparts properties to gaskets, O-rings, and hoses that allow them to claim to outperform conventional fluoroelastomers whether or not any Caucasian scientists agree with the manner in which the tests were conducted.

Dr. Steven H. Walker, Acting Director for DARPA, stated that high speed photography of the ex-First Lady's pursed lip kisses indicated that pressures exceeding 100,000 PSI might be contained within the "hellish maw" located just above her chin.

White House staff's' colorful description of Mrs. Obama's lips, "tighter than a frog's ass," was instrumental in naming the new product.

The scientists, bio-engineers and bear trap designers who researched and survived Mrs. Obama's formidable lip seal exclaimed, "If the Challenger space shuttle's auxiliary fuel tanks had this capability instead of the o-rings installed by Morton-Thiokol, Judy and Christa might have been able to join the 200 Mile High Club. But then again, if frogs had wings they wouldn't bruise their asses jumping from lily pad to lily pad."

When asked to comment, Mrs. Obama replied,"Mmmmmmpppppfffff off."

Clever As The Devil And Handsome Too

Sig94's avatar is Braveheart's William Wallace

We here at Political Clown Parade have a cunning plan.  When I noticed this fella who’d come here posting comments that were razor-sharp and witty as hell, it was decided we needed a fearless master of witty dialogue.

Allow me to introduce Sig94.  Sig used to contribute to a blog called The Goomba News Network before it was bequeathed to him in 2010 and gave it a new name: “It Don’t Make Sense”

Sig lampoons the world effortlessly.  When he agreed to come on board he told me, “I still miss the challenge and interaction of competing intellectually, politically and comically in a blog environment.”

Sig joins Proof who signed on January 6, 2014.  He’s already posted Soylent Black, Federal Clown Judges and Who Put The Fun In Funerals.

I hope you’ll join me in welcoming Sig to our merry band of pamphleteers.  He’ll bring fresh content to our readers—something they richly deserve.  I know you’ll love his work.

Who Put The Fun In Funerals

Keep electing those liberal Democrats, the undertakers appreciate it.

BALTIMORE (WJZ) — Baltimore’s mayor is asking for help from the FBI as the city struggles to contain a soaring murder rate. But will bringing in the feds stop the killings? 

Catherine Pugh pulled no punches earlier this week when she said the violence is out of control.

“I’m calling on all the assistance we can possibly get because I can’t imagine going into our summer months with our crime rate where it is today, what that’s going to look like by the end of the summer,” Mayor Pugh said. “… Murder is out of control.”

CHICAGO (CBS) — More than 1,000 people have been shot in Chicago so far this year, and the city has had nearly 200 murders, but Police Supt. Eddie Johnson said he saw some good news in April’s crime statistics.

According to the Chicago Police Department, shootings were down 13 percent for the first four months of the year, compared to the same time in 2016.

“The shooting incidents are down a little bit over 100 from the same time last year, so that’s some encouraging sign. The number of shooting victims is actually down, so if we can keep trending in that direction, then we should be setting ourselves up for a pretty good year,” he said.

While shootings were down, murders in April were up compared to last year. In April 2016, there were 36 murders in Chicago. There were 45 murders in April 2017.

Remember folks, Democrats put the Fun in Funerals

This message was brought to you by the Liberal American 

Association of Crime Victim Burial and Cremation Services.

"When Your Loved One Is Laid To Rest

We'll Hide The Bullet Holes, We're The Best"

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Wylie Funeral Home

Connelly Funeral Home

James Morton & Sons Funeral Home

David Weber Funeral Homes

Chicago Funeral Homes:

Colonial-Wojciechowski Funeral Home

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Federal Clown Judges

Activist Federal Judges have been a burr under President Trump's saddle for the past few months. These black-robed clowns have thus far restricted the President's agenda for illegal immigration enforcement, Just recently another Obama sycophant lawyer-campaign bundler-turned-judge has stymied an attempt to freeze federal funds to jurisdictions that violate federal laws.

There is a way to wipe the smirk off these clowns. The American Thinker posts the solution:

Congress can, under their broad authority to govern the inferior courts, strip the federal courts of their jurisdiction over executive action when the president is exercising the statutorily granted power to suspend or modify entry to the United States. Simply put, Congress established the lower courts and can modify (even remove) the jurisdiction of those courts. 

This can be done through the same administrative rules and procedures by which court districts are routinely drawn or modified. This means streamlined committee handling and rapid implementation. Indeed, there is precedent for this. The "Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996," signed into law by Monica Lewinsky's old boyfriend, stripped jurisdiction to challenge certain actions of the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) (the forerunner of today's ICE) from federal courts.

It already has been done. Now if Congress would only get up off its ass...

Soylent Black

Al Gore Proposes New Energy Source

It's a win-win situation for Uncle Al. How do we deal with the elimination of coal fired boilers, the destruction of the coal industry and stop the rapidly increasing number of obese Americans that endanger the planet?

It's People! The new Soylent Black!

CINCINNATI -- A "freak accident" started an unscheduled fire Wednesday night at the Hillside Chapel Crematory in Cincinnati, owner Don Catchen said. 

"My operator was in the process of cremating remains and (the body) was overly obese and apparently it got a little hotter than the unit is supposed to get," Catchen said. "One of the cremation containers that we had close got caught on fire and that's what burnt."

 I was going to comment that the Germans never had this problem but that's too freaking dark even for me.