Donald Trump, The "Love Pirate"

Donald Trump is ruining America. His assault on all that is good and holy is unconstrained by normal human conventions and considerations of faith, charity, love, hope and family. As Trump so rabidly despoiled the Democratic Party's Queen Mother, Hillary de Blanche Eau. he now continues to undermine the very foundations of America.

From the Washington Examiner:

Couples are fighting over President Trump more than ever, and many are turning to divorce court to get out of their politically ravaged marriages. 

New data from Wakefield Research found that one in 10 couples, married and not, have ended their relationships in a battle over political differences. 

For younger millennials, it's 22 percent. And nearly one in three Americans said that political clashes over Trump have "had a negative impact on their relationship," said the report provided to Secrets. 

"Since Donald Trump's election, political discourse in the U.S. has been more tense and divisive than ever," Wakefield said. 

In other words, Trump's election has removed the erection from the marital connection for a large section of millennials. What once raised it's proud head now reposes supine on a divided bed. And thus do I wax rhapsodic...

Once upon an election contested, by a liberal party invested

Over many a poll, that were skewed beyond belief.

While the Democrats were  napping, Trump's campaign was busy wrapping

Up the swing states when Hillary's campaign hit a reef.

"It's the Russians!" Hillary uttered, "It ain't us!" the pollsters muttered

And the pundits pondered conspiracies to explore:

Only this and nothing more. 

Ah, distinctly I remember it was only last November;

When the liberals waited for their Queen to say Trump was dead.

"It is Hillary!" they enthused, but they left teary-eyed and bruised

When their goddess trashed her suite of rooms instead.

And now millennial wives are sore and their husbands cannot score;

Quoth the liberal bitches, "Never more."

[...]"Passionately opposing points of views are not only driving wedges between strangers and even friends, but we are now seeing evidence that this dissent is having a detrimental impact on Americans' marriages and relationships," the report said.

This foul Republican tactic, also known as a matrimonial wedgie, yanks the Democrat's Thongs of Love up over the Ears of Harmony.

But don't worry, There's an Indian Princess in the wings and with enough liberal wampum she'll embarrass herself also.