Carolina Panthers Vs Denver Broncos Redux

The Carolina Panthers along with their 2015 NFL MVP quarterback Cam Newton will try to redeem themselves tonight at Sports Authority Field in Denver after their humiliating loss to Denver 24-10 in Super Bowl 50.  The game will air on NBC at 8:30 PM ET.

Newton was blitzed 25 times in his Super Bowl appearance.  Only Jim Kelly faced more blitzes.  He also set a record for the worst completion percentage in a Super Bowl.

Remember when he decided not to dive for the ball on a pivotal play in the biggest game of his life?  Compound the above stats, his decision to “tap out” by not going full-speed to recover that fumbled ball, his big baby reactions during the game, pouting up a storm and leaving the post-game press conference and you have to ask yourself if Newton has grown up during the off-season.

"I'm so focused on the lead-up to our game on Thursday. I can't look back," Newton said. "A lot of people are going to make it a rematch, but it's not a rematch.  It's just our next opponent.  They're a great team, we understand that.  We're putting in our bid to be a great team as well.”

Newton has an improved core with wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin returning from injury, somebody who had more than 1,000 receiving yards and nine touchdowns as a rookie back in 2014.  He’ll take pressure off Tedd Ginn Jr. and allow him to win one-on-one matchups more often.  Defensively, the Carolina Panthers lost cornerback Josh Norman but are still going to be a nasty front seven led by All-Pro linebacker Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis.  They will look to give Broncos QB Trevor Siemian fits tonight.

GO PANTHERS!

 And since no football post would be complete without some pom-poms to feast your eyes on, we present this fetching Top Cat:

Supernatural Omens Abound for Impending Broncos Victory in Super Bowl 50

Gruntington Post [Mountain View, CA] - The crew chief assigned to maintain the Navy jet being prepared to fly over Levi's Stadium during Super Bowl 50 is becoming more and more convinced that God is telling him the Broncos are going to be victorious.

At first, Staff Sgt. Bill Charmen was deeply upset about being assigned to maintain this aircraft at NAS Moffet Field for "a pointless 8-second flight."  It was his day off, and he had a party to attend.

"But then the signs started happening.  The first thing was, all the teal blue LEDs burnt out on the weapons control display.  It didn't stop us.  We don't plan on firing the gun during the game, you  know?  But then there was the DAB unit.  That's a Digital Airborne Buffering computer for queueing up all the battle tasks while in the air.  Sucker just blew up when we fired up the APUs for the first time!  Smoke in the cockpit and everything."

The deciding factor, apparently, was the color of the sky Saturday night when their aviator took the plane up for a shakedown flight.  "It was orange.  Totally Broncos orange.  And the Santa Cruz mountains were deep blue.  You just can't make this stuff up."

Super Bowl 50: Carolina Panthers Vs Denver Broncos

Never let it be said that Curmudgeon doesn’t know how to throw a party.  My Super Bowl Watch Party is going to be epic.

Several weeks ago I ordered the official Carolina Panthers Dab On Em T-Shirt; the one made famous around these parts by 95-year-old Mary Ward who has watched every single Panthers game since the franchise came to Charlotte, to give to everyone I’ve invited to the party.  Yours truly will be sporting her Luke Kuechly jersey.

They say that 1.3 billion chicken wings, 2 million Pizza Hut® pizzas, 12 million Domino’s® pizza slices and 14 billion hamburgers will be served during the big game.

Two years ago I dazzled my party-goers with Frogmore Stew, also known as a bog or low-country boil, a Creole-like Gullah feast which originated in the Sea Islands off the coast of South Carolina.  It’s a combination of Alaskan Snow Crab legs, jumbo shrimp, red potatoes, corn on the cob, Kielbasa sausages, sweet onions and Old Bay® or Zatarain’s® Shrimp & Crab Boil.

The ingredients are boiled in a 65-quart stock pot and when it’s done you simply drain the liquid, dump the ingredients on a newspaper-covered table and let your guests dig in.  There will be ramekins filled with drawn butter and cocktail sauce, plenty of lemon wedges and bottles of Tabasco® sauce will be on all the tables for the more daring diners.  Clean up is a snap.  You just roll up the newspaper and toss everything in the garbage.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Kickoff will be at 6:30 PM ET and air on CBS.  Ever since November when the Angry Kittehs were the only unbeaten team left in the league, virtually none of the so-called sports experts thought Carolina would do as well as they have.  The “experts” consistently viewed them as underdogs.

NFL media insider Ian Rappaport has reported that Super Bowl 50 will be Denver QB Peyton Manning’s “last rodeo”.  He carefully notes that Manning has refused to publicly state whether he will retire, but he “let the cat out of the bag” to his “inner circle”.

Denver fans will be rooting for the Broncos and Peyton Manning against the Panthers, but Carolina can play the sentimentality card too.  You see Leigh Ann Touhy, the woman made famous in the Hollywood telling of her adoption of a homeless African-American kid named Michael Oher in The Blind Side, is a compelling story.

Oher was born to a drug addict mother and a convict father in Tennessee in 1986, and spent a troubled childhood in and out of school where he had to repeat both the first and second grade. Dumped into foster care at the age of seven, he was eventually adopted by Tuohy who nurtured his love of football.

One thing they can't measure is your heart!! Remember that!!

— Michael Oher (@MichaelOher) January 25, 2016

Now, to be sure I don’t know who will win the game.  Oddsmakers have the Panthers as a 5+ point favorite.  But, but…Tuah the one-year-old orangutan at the Salt Lake City Zoo picked the Panthers to win.  You may ask yourself how can a one-year-old orangutan pick a winner.  Simple.  Tuah’s father picked seven of the winning teams before passing away last year.

I’ve suggested we embark on a Jell-O™ shooter game:  Every time Cam dabs it’s down the hatch with a shooter. (And yes, I’ve made a shipload of blueberry shooters!)

GO PANTHERS! 

And because no football post would be complete without some pom-poms, please set your male gazing cannons to stunned for these lovely Top Cats:

NOTE:  Hey Grunt, I’m sorry my friend.  Youse is gonna lose.

Panthers and Broncos Battle Their Way Into Super Bowl 50

Gruntington Post [Denver] - Home field was a good luck charm for both teams hosting the NFC and AFC Championship games today.  Just hours ago, the Carolina Panthers had very little trouble crushing the Arizona Cardinals at Bank of America Field in Charlotte.  Final score: 49-15.  That part was somewhat expected, given the continuing rise of Panthers QB Cam Newton and the strong team behind him.

The young Carolina fan below, photographed by AP's Bob Leverone, was the happy recipient of one of Newton's touchdown balls during the first half of tonight's game.

What wasn't so expected was the upset of the New England Patriots earlier this afternoon in the AFC Championship game. Blame it on the altitude. Blame it on the Patriot’s stupid Microsoft tablets that didn’t work (LOL!). But I think we have to give credit to the Denver Broncos for earning their upset victory over the Patriots that won them a spot across from the Panthers at Super Bowl 50 in two weeks.

A brutal defensive battle all afternoon, it was a fight that saw the mighty Patriots offense – and the unstoppable Tom Brady – shut down so effectively that they trailed Denver every second of the entire game. Denver quarterback Peyton Manning struggled to score 20 points against the powerful NE defensive teams (final 20-18), and was, in fact, outperformed by Brady in passing and total yards, prevailing with a better rushing game. But it was the Broncos defensive players who won the day.

They didn’t take it easy on Brady, either. He was only sacked 4 times, but he felt it more than the older Manning did with his 3 sacks. In the second quarter, the CBS cameras made it a point to zoom in on Brady’s very bloody left forearm and heavily grass-stained jersey.

The Panthers and the Broncos will now face each other at Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara, California, on February 7th.

Battle Of The Undefeateds: Green Bay Packers Vs Denver Broncos

Pro football history notes that tonight’s game between my beloved Packers and the Denver Broncos is only the fourth time two undefeated teams with six wins have done battle on the gridiron.  Kickoff is 8:30 PM ET and will be carried on NBC.

I like Peyton Manning, but he’s no longer in his prime.  Aaron Rodgers, on the other hand, is right in the middle of his prime. 

No need to quote stats for this game.  I’ll just say I think the Packers are well rested after their bye week and should be able to win against the Broncos.

GO PACK GO!

And since no football post would be complete without pom-poms, no wait, the Packers don’t have cheerleaders and I won’t post a picture of a cheerleader from the opposing team…ah, wait, I’ve solved the problem…

NFL Preseason Week 2: Kansas City Chiefs Vs Carolina Panthers

Today Panthers’ quarterback Cam Newton is going to ditch his red jersey and play in his first live-game action against the Kansas City Chiefs.  The hope is that he can play until halftime without running too much on his surgically repaired left ankle.

The game will air on Fox at 8:00PM from Bank of America Stadium.  There’s one other game today.  It pits Denver against San Francisco.  That game kicks off at 4:00PM on the NFL Network.

The oddsmakers give KC a 3-point edge to win 27-24.  I hope they’re wrong.  And as for my friends Proof and Woodsterman, I love you guys but I can’t stand your quarterback.  I’m rootin’ for the Broncos.

Because no football post is complete without some pom-poms, please enjoy this pic of Top Cat Madelyn who is far and away much prettier than the floozy Proof picked to post at his site IYKWIMAITYD.

Six More Weeks Of Winter And My Broncos By 4½

On January 6, 2014 Proof agreed to become a co-author at this site.  Today, I saw at his site a wonderful cartoon created by John Cox.  I was so enamored by it that I decided to steal the idea and create a Photoshop™ of his brilliant work.

T.S. Eliot once wrote, “Immature Photoshoppers imitate; mature Photoshoppers steal; bad Photoshoppers deface what they take, and good Photoshoppers make it into something better, or at least something different.”  (A note from our attorneys: This is not a real quote.)

Today we celebrate Groundhog Day and that other important thing—the Super Bowl.  Throughout the regular season I have taken guff from Proof, Woodsterman and Stogie who are staunch 49ers fans.  They stooped to calling my Carolina Panthers the “Angry Kitties.”

It was all good-natured fun.  First my heart was broken when the 49ers won the trench war against the Panthers on January 12th.  One week later, their hearts were broken when the Seahawks defeated their beloved Niners 23-17 to become the NFC Champions.

Today, we are one.  We will be cheering on the Broncos and Peyton Manning. Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow this morning and predicted six more weeks of winter.  And…the Broncos by 4½.

Go Peyton!  Go BRONCOS!

Groundhog Sez Go Peyton

Sunday’s Super Bowl is Peyton Manning’s chance to become the first QB to lead two franchises to Super Bowl titles.

Manning, following a nearly career-ending neck injury, has produced the most prolific passing season in NFL history.  With him at the helm and his now famous “Omaha” play calls, he led the Broncos to a 13-3 record throwing for 5,477 yards and 55 touchdowns.

Seahawks corner and jackass, Richard Sherman, spewed his noise from the hood to describe Manning’s passing style saying, "His arm, however, is another story.  His passes will be accurate and on time, but he throws ducks."

Thursday morning, as Manning addressed the media for the final time before Sunday’s game, he lobbed a good-natured shot back at Sherman, "I believe it to be true as well," he said with a big smile. "I don't think that's a real reach, what he's saying. I've thrown a lot of yards and touchdowns with ducks. I'm actually quite proud of it."

Damn right.

What does the groundhog have to do with all this?  Sunday is Groundhog Day.  I hope Sherman and his Seachickens find themselves in a time loop similar to the one Bill Murray found himself in in the movie Groundhog Day and they watch Peyton Manning throw duck after duck after duck.

GO BRONCOS!

Super Bowl Sunday: Big Doings At Casa De Curmudgeon

The Big Bash for the playoff game between the Carolina Panthers and the San Francisco 49ers was a big hit with my neighbors a couple of weeks ago.  It was such a smash in fact that they demanded we do it again for Super Bowl Sunday.

The pressure has been mounting since I agreed to do it.  How do I top my last get together?  So I thunk and I thunk and I thunk.

I decided to go with one of my all-time faves—Frogmore Stew.  The Frogmore is very much like a Low Country Boil.  The big difference is crab legs are added to the boil.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  Isn’t Seattle known for its Pike Place Market, the world famous fish market?  True enough.  Let me remind you that Peyton Manning was born in Nawlins.  For the uninitiated, that’s Cajun for New Orleans.  The Frogmore seemed like the perfect tribute to Peyton since it is closely associated with southern Louisiana and the Gulf south.  You see the connection now don’t you?

Frogmore Stew has as its ingredients Kielbasa Sausage, corn on the cob, new red potatoes, shrimp and Alaskan King Crab Legs.  You throw the potatoes in a 65-quart stock pot and let them boil in water to which some Zatarain’s Extra Spicy Crab Boil is added.  You add a couple of tablespoons of concentrated shrimp and crab boil and let the spuds boil for about 15 minutes.

Next you add the corn cobs which are broken in half.  Let those cook for another 15 minutes.  Then you add the Kielbasa sausage.  After about 10 minutes you add the crab legs and shrimp.  After the seafood has boiled for about 5 or so minutes you’re ready to drain off the water and dump everything onto a table that is covered with newspaper.

Place a bunch of ramekins on the table filled with drawn butter and shrimp cocktail sauce for dippin’.  Cut up some lemon wedges and you’ve got one helluva feast.

Clean up is easy.  You just roll everything up in the newspaper and toss it in the trash.

I’m going to stop by the party rental store on Saturday before I head off to work and pick up the three 6-foot banquet folding tables I reserved.  Sunday morning I’ll go the grocery store to pick up the 20 lbs of crab legs and 20 lbs of 10-15 count Gulf shrimp I ordered in advance.

I’ve already made some orange and berry blue Jell-O shooters and the Party Planning Committee is in charge of everything else.  I can’t do it all for cripes sake.

All the party-goers have been carefully vetted to make sure they are Broncos fans.  Seahawks fans are banned.

If a Seahawks fan should breach Casa de Curmudgeon’s DEFCON 5 security system, the ferocious junkyard dog Sophie will crawl in their lap and lick them to death.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday.  Be safe on the road, don’t drink and drive and be sure to root for the Broncos.

Devil Baby Predictions

Hell-o.  I’m the Devil Baby that gave New Yorkers the fright of their life.  I know you’ve seen the viral video that’s been viewed more than 34 million times and counting.

Not unlike the day Lucifer decided to possess a woman’s toaster I, the spawn of The Unholy One who can make breakfast cereal speak in foul incantations and cause boiled eggs to be unrighteously runny, have visited upon this delightful blog to predict the outcome of today’s NFL Conference Championships.

Go ahead and make rude comments.  I’ll puke pea soup on you á la Linda Blair.

Pom Poms Rule The Sidelines

Fox is carrying the game between the New Orleans Saints and the Seattle Seahawks at 4:35 PM ET.  I’m rooting for the Saints.  Then CBS will air the contest between the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots at 8:15 PM ET.  My hope is that the Colts pull off the win.

I have to work Saturday so I will miss the Saints’ game.  By the time I get home I will probably be able to join the Colts’ game somewhere near the end of the first quarter.

Sunday however, I am off and will be able to enjoy the game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Carolina Panthers.  Kickoff is 1:05 PM ET on Fox.  That game is followed by the match-up between the San Diego Chargers and the Denver Broncos.  CBS begins airing that game at 4:40 PM ET.

I’m pulling for the Panthers to scratch and claw their way to a win over the NI-NERS.  I like Peyton Manning.  He’s a good guy with a tremendous record as a quarterback so I'm picking the Broncos to win their game over the Chargers.

Them’s my picks and I’m sticking to ‘em.

Go Panthers!