Never let it be said that Curmudgeon doesn’t know how to throw a party. My Super Bowl Watch Party is going to be epic.
Several weeks ago I ordered the official Carolina Panthers Dab On Em T-Shirt; the one made famous around these parts by 95-year-old Mary Ward who has watched every single Panthers game since the franchise came to Charlotte, to give to everyone I’ve invited to the party. Yours truly will be sporting her Luke Kuechly jersey.
They say that 1.3 billion chicken wings, 2 million Pizza Hut® pizzas, 12 million Domino’s® pizza slices and 14 billion hamburgers will be served during the big game.
Two years ago I dazzled my party-goers with Frogmore Stew, also known as a bog or low-country boil, a Creole-like Gullah feast which originated in the Sea Islands off the coast of South Carolina. It’s a combination of Alaskan Snow Crab legs, jumbo shrimp, red potatoes, corn on the cob, Kielbasa sausages, sweet onions and Old Bay® or Zatarain’s® Shrimp & Crab Boil.
The ingredients are boiled in a 65-quart stock pot and when it’s done you simply drain the liquid, dump the ingredients on a newspaper-covered table and let your guests dig in. There will be ramekins filled with drawn butter and cocktail sauce, plenty of lemon wedges and bottles of Tabasco® sauce will be on all the tables for the more daring diners. Clean up is a snap. You just roll up the newspaper and toss everything in the garbage. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
Kickoff will be at 6:30 PM ET and air on CBS. Ever since November when the Angry Kittehs were the only unbeaten team left in the league, virtually none of the so-called sports experts thought Carolina would do as well as they have. The “experts” consistently viewed them as underdogs.
NFL media insider Ian Rappaport has reported that Super Bowl 50 will be Denver QB Peyton Manning’s “last rodeo”. He carefully notes that Manning has refused to publicly state whether he will retire, but he “let the cat out of the bag” to his “inner circle”.
Denver fans will be rooting for the Broncos and Peyton Manning against the Panthers, but Carolina can play the sentimentality card too. You see Leigh Ann Touhy, the woman made famous in the Hollywood telling of her adoption of a homeless African-American kid named Michael Oher in The Blind Side, is a compelling story.
Oher was born to a drug addict mother and a convict father in Tennessee in 1986, and spent a troubled childhood in and out of school where he had to repeat both the first and second grade. Dumped into foster care at the age of seven, he was eventually adopted by Tuohy who nurtured his love of football.
One thing they can't measure is your heart!! Remember that!!— Michael Oher (@MichaelOher) January 25, 2016
Now, to be sure I don’t know who will win the game. Oddsmakers have the Panthers as a 5+ point favorite. But, but…Tuah the one-year-old orangutan at the Salt Lake City Zoo picked the Panthers to win. You may ask yourself how can a one-year-old orangutan pick a winner. Simple. Tuah’s father picked seven of the winning teams before passing away last year.
I’ve suggested we embark on a Jell-O™ shooter game: Every time Cam dabs it’s down the hatch with a shooter. (And yes, I’ve made a shipload of blueberry shooters!)
And because no football post would be complete without some pom-poms, please set your male gazing cannons to stunned for these lovely Top Cats:
NOTE: Hey Grunt, I’m sorry my friend. Youse is gonna lose.