Cam Newton: The Shipwrecked Showboater

Almost 112 million people viewed Super Bowl 50 and depending on when they tuned in and whether they stay tuned to the post-game interviews those viewers saw a young star too easily rattled and not equal to the moment.

During the always overboard pre-game hype, CBS cameras caught Carolina Panthers QB Cam Newton on the field sporting warm-up gear that consisted of a black t-shirt emblazoned with a gold Superman logo and gold Under Armor® MVP cleats.

The Panthers were a 5+ point favorite to win yesterday’s Super Bowl.  I feel sorry for all the folks who placed bets in Vegas on Carolina.  The Panthers were pathetic.  Newton was deplorable.  The Denver defense hit Newton 13 times including six sacks.  He went 18 of 41 for 265 yards, no touchdowns, one interception, two fumbles and a passer rating of 55.4.

By the end of the third quarter the coddled, vulgarly overpaid Newton’s body language unequivocally told you this princeling was not accustomed to such forceful handling.  There were no jumping jacks or leaping chest bumps to rally his team.  No “dabbing” either.  Denver tugged on Superman’s cape and all that was left was a sulking, pouty, immature, petulant child who threw himself on the turf after Josh Norman was called for holding against DeMarcus Ware and again with 2:08 left in the game when Derek Wolfe tackled Cam in the endzone.  Newton screamed at the official demanding a penalty flag for a late hit but didn’t get one.  He rolled over and pounded the turf in a childish temper tantrum.

Oh, and let’s not forget the fumble he cowardly refused to try to recover.  Aqib Talib said, “He tapped out.  Yeah.  He didn’t want it.”

After the game, Cam Newton sat dejectedly in a post-game interview giving oh-so-short answers to rather soft questions and abruptly walked out after just three minutes.  For good or for ill, former Dallas Cowboys star Deion Sanders said of Newton’s press conference, “You are the face of our brand right now.  You can’t do that.  I understand the emotions of losing.  You can’t do that.  A Manning, a Brady, all of those guys who have been prototypical would never do that.  You can’t be dabbin’ smiling, styling and profiling when you win, so this is how you go out when you lose?”

I have taken some guff from a reader in the past for being so hard on Cam.  I am not just now scrutinizing him.  I attacked his antics, his narcissism and petulance here and here and finally here. 

Cam Newton’s arrogance has cheapened him.  His promise to be a role model is a complete, unadulterated mountain of manure and his teammates are circling the wagons to protect him.

Fans of the Panthers are disappointed that the Panthers lost.  Disappointment is part of sports.  Sadly though, Cam Newton single-handedly embarrassed the franchise and embarrassed the Panthers Nation.

Cam needs to grow up.  Whatever criticism comes his way is deserved.  Is the NFL proud they selected such a crybaby to be their MVP?  I think not.  Cam made a mockery of the league and a laughingstock of the Panthers.  It’s a pity.

This play will haunt #CamNewton the rest of his career.@TSNSteve @TSNSimmer pic.twitter.com/IT0FiqGHEB

— TSN 1200 (@TSN1200) February 8, 2016

My second favorite moment of the night. Think they'll make a name for this move? #CamNewton #SB50 https://t.co/0D6YwTjSjs

— Kristen Ashly (@KristenAshly) February 8, 2016

Supernatural Omens Abound for Impending Broncos Victory in Super Bowl 50

Gruntington Post [Mountain View, CA] - The crew chief assigned to maintain the Navy jet being prepared to fly over Levi's Stadium during Super Bowl 50 is becoming more and more convinced that God is telling him the Broncos are going to be victorious.

At first, Staff Sgt. Bill Charmen was deeply upset about being assigned to maintain this aircraft at NAS Moffet Field for "a pointless 8-second flight."  It was his day off, and he had a party to attend.

"But then the signs started happening.  The first thing was, all the teal blue LEDs burnt out on the weapons control display.  It didn't stop us.  We don't plan on firing the gun during the game, you  know?  But then there was the DAB unit.  That's a Digital Airborne Buffering computer for queueing up all the battle tasks while in the air.  Sucker just blew up when we fired up the APUs for the first time!  Smoke in the cockpit and everything."

The deciding factor, apparently, was the color of the sky Saturday night when their aviator took the plane up for a shakedown flight.  "It was orange.  Totally Broncos orange.  And the Santa Cruz mountains were deep blue.  You just can't make this stuff up."

Super Bowl 50: Carolina Panthers Vs Denver Broncos

Never let it be said that Curmudgeon doesn’t know how to throw a party.  My Super Bowl Watch Party is going to be epic.

Several weeks ago I ordered the official Carolina Panthers Dab On Em T-Shirt; the one made famous around these parts by 95-year-old Mary Ward who has watched every single Panthers game since the franchise came to Charlotte, to give to everyone I’ve invited to the party.  Yours truly will be sporting her Luke Kuechly jersey.

They say that 1.3 billion chicken wings, 2 million Pizza Hut® pizzas, 12 million Domino’s® pizza slices and 14 billion hamburgers will be served during the big game.

Two years ago I dazzled my party-goers with Frogmore Stew, also known as a bog or low-country boil, a Creole-like Gullah feast which originated in the Sea Islands off the coast of South Carolina.  It’s a combination of Alaskan Snow Crab legs, jumbo shrimp, red potatoes, corn on the cob, Kielbasa sausages, sweet onions and Old Bay® or Zatarain’s® Shrimp & Crab Boil.

The ingredients are boiled in a 65-quart stock pot and when it’s done you simply drain the liquid, dump the ingredients on a newspaper-covered table and let your guests dig in.  There will be ramekins filled with drawn butter and cocktail sauce, plenty of lemon wedges and bottles of Tabasco® sauce will be on all the tables for the more daring diners.  Clean up is a snap.  You just roll up the newspaper and toss everything in the garbage.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Kickoff will be at 6:30 PM ET and air on CBS.  Ever since November when the Angry Kittehs were the only unbeaten team left in the league, virtually none of the so-called sports experts thought Carolina would do as well as they have.  The “experts” consistently viewed them as underdogs.

NFL media insider Ian Rappaport has reported that Super Bowl 50 will be Denver QB Peyton Manning’s “last rodeo”.  He carefully notes that Manning has refused to publicly state whether he will retire, but he “let the cat out of the bag” to his “inner circle”.

Denver fans will be rooting for the Broncos and Peyton Manning against the Panthers, but Carolina can play the sentimentality card too.  You see Leigh Ann Touhy, the woman made famous in the Hollywood telling of her adoption of a homeless African-American kid named Michael Oher in The Blind Side, is a compelling story.

Oher was born to a drug addict mother and a convict father in Tennessee in 1986, and spent a troubled childhood in and out of school where he had to repeat both the first and second grade. Dumped into foster care at the age of seven, he was eventually adopted by Tuohy who nurtured his love of football.

One thing they can't measure is your heart!! Remember that!!

— Michael Oher (@MichaelOher) January 25, 2016

Now, to be sure I don’t know who will win the game.  Oddsmakers have the Panthers as a 5+ point favorite.  But, but…Tuah the one-year-old orangutan at the Salt Lake City Zoo picked the Panthers to win.  You may ask yourself how can a one-year-old orangutan pick a winner.  Simple.  Tuah’s father picked seven of the winning teams before passing away last year.

I’ve suggested we embark on a Jell-O™ shooter game:  Every time Cam dabs it’s down the hatch with a shooter. (And yes, I’ve made a shipload of blueberry shooters!)

GO PANTHERS! 

And because no football post would be complete without some pom-poms, please set your male gazing cannons to stunned for these lovely Top Cats:

NOTE:  Hey Grunt, I’m sorry my friend.  Youse is gonna lose.