Never let it be said that Curmudgeon doesn’t know how to throw
a party. My Super Bowl Watch Party is
going to be epic.
Several weeks ago I
ordered the official Carolina Panthers Dab On Em T-Shirt; the one made famous
around these parts by 95-year-old
Mary Ward who has watched every single Panthers game since the franchise
came to Charlotte, to give to everyone I’ve invited to the party. Yours truly will be sporting her Luke
Kuechly jersey.
They say that 1.3
billion chicken wings, 2 million Pizza Hut® pizzas, 12 million Domino’s® pizza
slices and 14 billion hamburgers will be served during the big game.
Two years ago I dazzled
my party-goers with Frogmore Stew, also known as a bog or low-country boil, a
Creole-like Gullah feast which originated in the Sea Islands off the coast of
South Carolina. It’s a combination of
Alaskan Snow Crab legs, jumbo shrimp, red potatoes, corn on the cob, Kielbasa
sausages, sweet onions and Old Bay® or Zatarain’s® Shrimp & Crab Boil.
The ingredients are
boiled in a 65-quart stock pot and when it’s done you simply drain the liquid,
dump the ingredients on a newspaper-covered table and let your guests dig
in. There will be ramekins filled with
drawn butter and cocktail sauce, plenty of lemon wedges and bottles of Tabasco®
sauce will be on all the tables for the more daring diners. Clean up is a snap. You just roll up the newspaper and toss
everything in the garbage. My mouth is watering
just thinking about it.
Kickoff will be at
6:30 PM ET and air on CBS. Ever since November when the Angry Kittehs
were the only unbeaten team left in the league, virtually none of the so-called
sports experts thought Carolina would do as well as they have. The “experts” consistently viewed them as
underdogs.
NFL media insider Ian
Rappaport has reported that Super Bowl 50 will be Denver QB Peyton Manning’s “last
rodeo”. He carefully notes that Manning
has refused to publicly state whether he will retire, but he “let the cat out
of the bag” to his “inner circle”.
Denver fans will be
rooting for the Broncos and Peyton Manning against the Panthers, but Carolina
can play the sentimentality card too.
You see Leigh Ann Touhy, the woman made famous in the Hollywood telling
of her adoption of a homeless African-American kid named Michael Oher in The Blind Side, is a
compelling story.
Oher was born to a
drug addict mother and a convict father in Tennessee in 1986, and spent a
troubled childhood in and out of school where he had to repeat both the first
and second grade. Dumped into foster care at the age of seven, he was
eventually adopted by Tuohy who nurtured his love of football.
Now, to be sure I don’t
know who will win the game. Oddsmakers
have the Panthers as a 5+ point favorite.
But, but…Tuah the one-year-old orangutan at the Salt Lake City Zoo
picked the Panthers to win. You may ask
yourself how can a one-year-old orangutan pick a winner. Simple.
Tuah’s father picked seven of the winning teams before passing away last
year.
I’ve suggested we
embark on a Jell-O™ shooter game: Every
time Cam dabs it’s down the hatch with a shooter. (And yes, I’ve made a
shipload of blueberry shooters!)
GO PANTHERS!
And because no
football post would be complete without some pom-poms, please set your male
gazing cannons to stunned for these lovely Top Cats:
NOTE: Hey Grunt, I’m sorry my friend. Youse is gonna lose.
