Chris Christie: I Could’ve Been The President

The New York Post is reporting outgoing New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie believes he would “absolutely” be the President of the United States if Donald Trump had decided not to run.

“It’s incredibly frustrating to think to yourself, ‘Wow, if this guy were not in the race, we’d win this thing.  And I absolutely believe if Trump had not gotten into the race I think we would have won.”

Christie conceded that his standing as governor and presidential candidate was damaged by the Bridgegate and Beachgate scandals.

“What Bridgegate did was deprive me of the benefit of the doubt─that’s all. That’s a big thing. But that’s what it did,” he said of the outrage created when two of his associates closed down two lanes of the George Washington Bridge in 2013.

As for Beachgate, where a swimming-suit clad Christie was pictured with his family enjoying a beach closed during a state shutdown last summer, he said it was bad optics. “You guys took that picture to make me look bad,” he said.

The Gorilla Channel snapped the exclusive photo above of “Shinebox” Christie relaxing in his beach chair.

Gilligan's Purgatory

Hard-Hitting, Crackerjack Journalism Keeps Coming Like Locusts

The Boston Globe reported Chris Christie and his wife, Mary Pat, joined President Trump at the White House this week.

The Republican governor said while guest hosting a New York sports talk radio show that Trump pointed out the menu and told people to get whatever they wanted.

“This is what it’s like to be with Trump,” Christie said. “He says, ‘There’s the menu, you guys order whatever you want.’ And then he says, ‘Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.’”

Trump said “I’m telling you, the meatloaf is fabulous,” according to Christie.

What do you mean Trump made Chris Christie eat Meatloaf?!?! pic.twitter.com/eCvrfnFFpc

— Brandon (@BMS355) February 17, 2017

Right Jabs For Sunday, August 28, 2016

Patriot Retort:  Keep your word.

90 Miles From Tyranny:  Look to the Netherlands for Clinton Foundation’s ongoing source of cash.

Ace of Spades:  Colin Kaepernick: The NFL's Newest Blithering Idiot

Hot Air:  Christie: Trump's immigration comments won't turn off supporters

The Guardian:  Welcome to Iowa, where Trump's purple patch could turn a blue state red.

New York Post:  Team Obama’s new low in the name of ‘trans rights’

Daily Mail:  NIGEL FARAGE: Trump was MY warm-up man... but I gave him a bounce - and he'll be new Ronald Reagan 
The New York Times:  Breitbart Rises From Outlier to Potent Voice in Campaign

USA Today:  Clinton's cash for access diplomacy: Glenn Reynolds

The American Spectator:  The Standard Bearer of Bull Connor’s Party Calls Trump Racist

American Enterprise Institute:  How Obama’s FDA keeps generic drugs off the market

The Long War Journal:  Zawahiri calls on Muslims to support Taliban, reject Islamic State

The Times of Israel:  Obama’s $400m cash payout to Iran is unprecedented, say legal experts

Manhattan Institute:  Covering Up the Pension Crisis

Commentary Magazine:  Hillary Milhous Clinton

Real Science:  Another Arctic Alarmist Disaster

Fred On Everything:  Milwaukee

Dejected Chris Christie: I’m Not Livid At Being Passed Over For VP

Chris Christie was spotted near the front row on the floor of the RNC Convention in Cleveland yesterday.  Because John McCormack of The Hill had reported overhearing a conversation with an unidentified man and Trump Campaign Manager Paul Manafort in which Manafort said Christie was “livid” he’d been passed over for the VP slot, CNN’s Dana Bash interviewed him for his reaction.  

Our cub reporter juuuust happened to be there moments before the cameras started rolling and captured poor Chris with his shinebox just before putting it down to make nice for the televised interview.

Watch pitiful "Shinebox" Christie interview with CNN https://t.co/bHTQiD9piC

— PoliticalClownParade (@Carry_That_Load) July 19, 2016

He thinks he's going to be Trump's transition manager.  Meh. 

“Kiwi” Christie

Is this all I get for selling my soul?

I read with great amusement the story told at The Weekly Standard by John McCormack who was minding his own business at the Starbuck’s inside the Westin Hotel only to overhear a conversation with Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort about his VP pick.

"Christie was livid, right?" the man said at one point. "Yeah," Manafort replied.

I remember last March when poor “Kiwi Chris” fell into a kind of “cupcake trance” as he stood behind Trump at a rally in Florida.  From that point forward Christie was mercilessly mocked as “Shinebox”.

Chris Christie is awkwardly adapting to a new role: Donald Trump’s Yes Man https://t.co/CckEAwx8t6 pic.twitter.com/EMcytbI23P

— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 2, 2016

Chris "Shinebox" Christie looks like he's reading a hostage statement.

— jon gabriel (@exjon) March 2, 2016

Doesn't Gov Christie kind of look like Stains the #cupcake dog? Aa! pic.twitter.com/iep6bomXds

— Alex Almendrades (@alexalmendrades) March 2, 2016

Christie has made no secret that he was disappointed he wasn't chosen to be Trump's running mate. "[I] don't like coming in second. Ever." But the conversation overheard suggests Christie's feelings were far more intense than mere disappointment.

Plain Or Peanut?

Conan O’Brien joked back in July 2015, “Chris Christie launched his presidential campaign in the gymnasium of his old high school.  He wanted to launch it in the school’s cafeteria but there’s still a restraining order.”

Since the moment he suspended his pathetic presidential bid Chris Christie has been the butt of jokes.  He underwent lap band surgery in 2013 to lose weight and while he was successful in dropping an appreciable amount of weight one has to wonder if the New Jersey governor has recklessly abandoned the reason for that surgery.

During the NCAA Sweet 16 game between Notre Dame and Wisconsin, Christie was seen pouring M&Ms from a bag into a larger box of M&Ms.  Pete Blackburn was in the stands at Wells Fargo Center in Philly and snapped a photo of the guv and it went viral.

Its good he dropped out of the race.  What we don’t need is a president who can’t control himself.

The viral M&Ms photo apparently bothered Christie enough that he called into WFAN’s Boomer & Carlton show Wednesday morning to set the record straight on his gluttonous M&Ms habit.

Christie said, “The reason I called in this morning was your dopey following of the story of me and M&Ms.”

“Why?” Carlton asked.

“There’s a bag inside the box, you dope,” Christie said.  “You get the box, you open the box, there’s a bag inside the box.  Why they do it that way I have no idea.  But you open up the bag; pour the bag into the box.  It’s easier,” Christie explained.

Carlton then asked, “Why not just sell the bag or sell them in a box?”

“Listen, I run New Jersey, not M&Ms,” Christie countered.

The radio host immediately reminded the governor that M&Ms has a plant in Hackettstown, NJ.

"We love them. It's the 75^th anniversary of M&Ms. We're thrilled. And you're an idiot!" Christie retorted.

#ChrisChristie in approx. 2 months went from trying to be #POTUS to having to explain why he pours smaller bags of M&M's into bigger ones.

— Cam McCarthy (@McCahhhty) April 1, 2016

Mean Tweets: Super Tuesday Edition

Let's play a game: A dog or Chris Christie standing behind Trump for the last 30 minutes? pic.twitter.com/7W39nXcfyU

— Andrew Kirell (@AndrewKirell) March 2, 2016

#ChrisChristie is the political equivaent of a flying monkey#SuperTuesday

— Tyler Morrison (@tylermorrison1) March 2, 2016

UPDATE: Chris Christie just finished cutting up Mr. Trump’s waffles just the way he likes them.

— scott feschuk (@scottfeschuk) March 2, 2016

“Get In The Plane And Go Home. It's Over There. Go Home.”

Millington, TN—At a Trump rally yesterday, Chris Christie climbed the steps of the stage set up inside a hangar with Trump’s corporate airplane in plain view.  After about two minutes of praising the presidential front-runner and poking fun at rival Rubio, an open mic caught Trump telling Christie to “get in the plane and go home.  It’s over there.  Go home.”  It was a humiliating way of saying that the also-ran was nothing more than an opening act.  As someone on Twitter opined, “…the political equivalent of leaving the money on the nightstand.”

A Trump spokesperson did not respond to requests for an explanation.  Hours later, however, Trump Social Media Director and Senior Adviser Dan Scavino tweeted:

.@realDonaldTrump told @ChrisChristie to go home (as was planned) to be with family tonight. Being blown out of proportion, BIG LEAGUE!!

— Dan Scavino (@DanScavino) February 28, 2016

All Trump needs to do to win my vote is tell Christie to go get his shinebox. And you know what? He might do it.

— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) February 28, 2016

Even better than Trump not offering Christie a job would be watching him get Borked for AG

— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) February 28, 2016

@allahpundit If Trump wins it all and then doesn't give Christie a job, I may die of laughter.

— Harold Stickeehands (@StickeeNotes) February 28, 2016

New Hampshire Primary: Simpering Fat Man To Weigh Future Of His Presidential Campaign

The Associated Press is reporting that Governor Chris Christie will be heading back to New Jersey to “take a deep breath” after finishing a distant sixth place in tonight’s New Hampshire primary. 

His dismal finish disqualifies him to participate in Saturday’s GOP debate in Greenville, South Carolina which will be carried by CBS.

I bet he could use a hug from The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer right about now.

Christie's miscalculation, from which he could never recover, was running *against* the GOP to get a big reelection margin which....

— The Scandalous DJT (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 10, 2016

I hope Christie gets a fruit basket from Kennebunkport.

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) February 10, 2016

UPDATE 2-10-16:  At 11:26 AM The Washington Times reported that NJ Governor Chris Christie would be issuing a statement later this afternoon suspending his presidential campaign. 

Mean Tweets: Chris Christie Edition

I do not like this question, Neil. Do you have another? pic.twitter.com/gH1VtFwQwW

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) January 15, 2016

Isn't Christie lying about Sotomayor and Planned Parenthood here? https://t.co/qbroKSIMYU

— John McCormack (@McCormackJohn) January 15, 2016

Asking Gov. Christie a question that involves bridges. I see what you did there, Fox Business. #washex2016

— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) January 15, 2016

Gaseous windbag Chris Christie admits incompetence of US courts to enforce basic laws.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) January 15, 2016

US governor Chris Christie's gaseous ejaculations concerning "tinpot dictators" derided as ludicrous daydreaming by an ignorant fool.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) January 15, 2016

Hillary Wants To “Commit Greater Acts Of Voter Fraud”

Every election cycle the contentious subject of voter registration/voter fraud rears its ugly head.  Thursday was no exception as Cankles delivered a speech at Texas Southern University in Houston calling for an expansion of early voting and pushing back against efforts to eliminate voter fraud. 

She asserted that current and former Republican governors seeking the presidency have “systematically and deliberately” tried to prevent millions of Americans from voting. She explained that she wants to expand access to early voting, implement same-day voting and to allow universal, automatic voter registration for young people.

According to NorthJersey.com, she criticized GOP officials in Florida, Texas and Wisconsin but was very specific in her dig against NJ Governor Chris Christie saying he had vetoed a bill to allow early voting 15 days before an election at designated polling places.

Having none of that Christie snapped back, “Secretary Clinton doesn't know the first thing about voting rights in New Jersey or in the other states that she attacked.  My sense is that she just wants an opportunity to commit greater acts of voter fraud around the country.”

Ohio Gov. John Kasich told Fox News, “I like Hillary, but I got to tell you, the idea that we’re going to divide Americans and we’re going to use demagoguery, I don’t like it.  Now I haven’t said a word about Hillary, but to come into the state of Ohio and say we’re repressing the vote when New York has only Election Day and we have 27 days…come on, that’s just silliness, you know? I’m disappointed in her, frankly.  Don’t be comin’ in and saying we are deliberately trying to keep people from voting when her own state has less opportunity for voting than my state, and she’s going to sue my state?  I mean, come on—that’s just silly…come on, Hillary, you know better than that.”

The backlash against Clinton continued as Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s team released a statement from the governor late Thursday:

“Hillary Clinton’s rejection of efforts to make it easier to vote and harder to cheat not only defies logic, but the will of the majority of Americans. Once again, Hillary Clinton’s extreme views are far outside the mainstream.”

Democrats contend that Republicans overstate the incidence of fraudulent voting to justify steps that depress turnout from minority and other hard-to-reach voters, many of whom would support Democratic candidates. Republicans say Democrats overlook fraud because they want those votes.

So far Hillary has called for mandatory citizen registration and “fun camps”. I think I see where this is going.

— John Ekdahl (@JohnEkdahl) June 4, 2015

.@HillaryClinton How many forms of ID does it take to get into a Clinton rally?

— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) June 4, 2015

Um. You take peoples' cameras and phones away before they can be in the same room with you. @HillaryClinton

— Noah Wehrman (@NoahWehrman) June 4, 2015

SEE ALSO:  Bankroller of Democratic Voting Rights Cases? George Soros 

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

  Seen in its natural habitat on an approach to a George Washington Bridge toll lane   The Chris Crizzlie Bear, Ursus Omniverae Horribilis , is found in New Jersey, ranging from Cape May to Newark. Sometimes mistakenly called "big boned", the Crizzlie could easily hibernate two winters in a row without breaking a sweat! Population estimates based on hair-snagging, DNA-based inventories, mark-recapture, and a refined multiple regression model put sightings of the Crizzlie as far west as Iowa and as far north as New Hampshire.

The mainland grizzly is widespread, and is representative and archetypal for the whole subspecific group. Even so, classification is being revised along genetic lines. The Crizzlie bear has evidence of rhino DNA in its ancestry.

On interspecies competition, the relationship between Crizzlie bears and other predators is mostly one-sided; after severe storms, however, the Crizzlie has been known to cozy up to such as the Mid Atlantic Weasel, Obamanicus Daemocratus, to mutually scavenge any carrion washed up by the storm.

The Crizzlie is known for its occasional surly interactions with humans. It is best avoided in the wild. In captivity, it is easily distracted with food.

Exotic Animals: Collect the whole set!
Joe Bydena
Donald Trumpetfish
Bernie Panders
Hillarymadillo
Mike Huccameleon

The Corrosive Idiocy Of MSNBC’s Ed Schultz

I don’t watch any of the drivel on MSNBC simply because I don’t want my world darkened by liberal hacks with Permanent Anger Syndrome.

The network has a tiny audience, but MSNBC’s The Ed Show has the lowest ratings demo with a negligible 53,000 viewers. So why am I using my bandwidth to write about this schlub who reminds you of every angry drunk you’ve ever known?

Schultz, like the network that employs him, engages in deceptive editing.  Examples can be seen here, here, here and here.  I’m sure there are scads of other examples, but you get the idea.

While perusing the Intertoobs yesterday, I came across a story that mildly amused me only because I watched the game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Eagles along with 21.8 million others on Sunday. During the game, NBC’s cameras panned over to the luxury corporate box where NJ Governor Chris Christie could be seen high-fiving Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones.

Christie has come under fire for being a long-time fan of the Cowboys much to the chagrin of New Jersey residents who feel he should be rooting for the Eagles, Giants or Jets.

Mediaite noticed that Schultz used a photo from one year ago that depicted the RNC Chairman with Christie and Jones in Dallas not Philadelphia.  Schultz, trying to be clever, said that his show’s researchers “noticed what looks like RNC Chair Reince Priebus sitting behind Christie and Jones.  We reached out to the RNC and they told us they thought he was at a dinner in Washington, DC on Sunday night.”

So complete was their effort to deceive that they added a “bug” on the screen that read SUNDAY NIGHT PHILADELPHIA and then, for his mind-numbed viewers, circled Priebus’ face.

When the trickery of MSNBC and the host of The Ed Show was noticed by Sean Spicer, Communications Director for the Republican National Committee, he tweeted this:

Moron @edshow shows pic of @reince fr LAST year @dallascowboys game in DALLAS saying it was Sunday in Philly #TeamEdShow #TwoMinuteDrill
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) December 16, 2014

That message was promptly retweeted by Priebus, but so far, the official Ed Show Twitter account has remained silent on the matter.

It’s only a matter of time before General Motors is forced to recall Schultz as a faulty airbag. 

Chris Christie: "If you Like Your Traffic Gridlock, You Can Keep Your Traffic Gridlock"

By Proof

There are some incriminating emails floating about, according to the NYT: Top Christie Staff Sought to Disrupt Traffic as Revenge.

The mystery of who closed two lanes onto the George Washington Bridge—turning the borough of Fort Lee, N.J., into a parking lot for four days in September—exploded into a full-bore political scandal for Gov. Chris Christie on Wednesday, when emails and texts revealed that a top aide had ordered the closings to punish the town’s mayor after he did not endorse the governor for re-election. 

“Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,” Bridget Anne Kelly, a deputy chief of staff to Mr. Christie, emailed David Wildstein, a high school friend of the governor who worked at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which runs the bridge. 

...Mr. Christie denied knowledge of the emails and said his staff was to blame.

Chris Christie is shocked, SHOCKED to hear that his staff misled him and committed petty acts of political revenge against a mayor whose only crime was not endorsing Christie. Fortunately, the Christie campaign bus was nearby with plenty of room under it!

My first impression when I heard this story, was that it was left over from Obama's government shutdown- just a petty tyrannical bureaucratic thing designed to make people miserable for no apparent reason other than political payback. The kind of thing they do because they could. If it turns out that Christie's deputy chief of staff was working at his behest, and, really, what motivation would there be for her to pull such a petty and otherwise pointless prank unless she were, then it appears that Christie is cut from the same cloth as the current occupant of the Oval Office...just ever so much more of it!

Original art by John Cox. More at John Cox Art

Cross posted at Proof Positive