Sunday, June 30, 2019
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Gone Fishin’
It’s summertime and the
salty air and sunshine of the coast is calling.
The reins have been turned over to co-bloggers Proof and Sig 94 in my
absence.
Here’s to a happy
Fourth of July to you and yours. Stay
safe.
When You Press 1 For English, But It Doesn’t Work
Latinos are a critical
voting bloc for Democrats in 2020. This explains why Beto O’Rourke busted out in
Spanish when asked a question about taxes. Not to be outdone, “Spartacus” Booker
dusted off his Spanish and it was mucho awkward.
It reminded me of the
moment New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s dreadful EspaΓ±ol became fodder for Internet memes and one
parody Twitter account, @ElBloombito,
gained notoriety for poking fun at him.
The owner of the parody
account chimed in this morning about SeΓ±or Furry:
Yo thinkingo about votingo para Beto por que el understanda el arto of avoidingo answering los preguntas con un distraction de espaΓ±ol.— Miguel Bloombito (@ElBloombito) June 27, 2019
It is my considered
opinion each of the Democrats who foamed at the mouth to bid President Trump “adios”
in 2020 gave nothing but wrong answers on how they would solve the problems
facing this country. What I heard last
night, and will again tonight, was a glut of platitudes and needless pandering
to Latinos.
Winners: Joe Biden, Spanish teachers.— Razor (@hale_razor) June 27, 2019
Biggest losers on #DemDebate: Beto = out of his depth; American gun-owners, Ryan, MSNBC and the ferrets that run its tech.
Dukakis could have flattened this group— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) June 27, 2019
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News. We thank Doug Ross for linking
to this post.
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Dear Mr. Acosta
@Acosta— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) June 26, 2019
ππ ππ₯πππ ππ¦ πͺπππ§ππ‘π ππ’π₯ π¬π’π¨π₯ ππ‘π¦πͺππ₯ π π₯. πππ’π¦π§π. pic.twitter.com/2xBS9seJf2
Pie-In-The-Sky Promises
The Washington Examiner
posted its editorial
today opining that, “Yes, we’ve heard them [2020 Democrat presidential
hopefuls] launch serious enough attacks against President Trump and against one
another. But aside from all the bitterness and scolding, Democrats have done
little in this race so far besides attempting to outbid one another in offering
freebies, mostly to their upper-middle-class constituents.”
We have yet to see any evidence
the clown car of Democrats understands the challenges of the job they are seeking.
Viewers of the next two
nights of debates are hoping for a measured, civilized discussion of the issues
facing this nation. What we will see in
its stead is an unhinged train wreck of lies, self-promotion, mudslinging,
back-biting, flip-flopping and tearing each other limb from limb.
The campaigns of most
of these contenders are likely to be history by the time the opening
Iowa caucuses convene next February.
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Dear AOC, Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
The big-boobed,
buck-toothed, Bronx Bolshevik bartender has been relentless in her incendiary
claim the U.S. Border Patrol is operating concentration camps along our
southern border. Academics (our elitist
betters) rushed to her defense.
Richard Cohen, writing
at the lefty rag The New York Daily News begged
to differ saying, “No one is being held for political, ideological or
religious reasons. No one is being whipped and made to work until dead from
exhaustion. There is no crematorium, and no one is being crucified upside down
as they were at Buchenwald, where a nearby area was called the ‘singing forest,’
so named for the screams of the dying.”
There are no
concentration camps on the border — only loose and provocative language.
Yesterday a
photographer for the University of Texas at El Paso tweeted out four previously
unpublished photographs of the harpy as she visited the tent city in Tornillo
near El Paso. They were taken in October
2018. The photographer tweeted, “I’m
from La Frontera, so it’s my responsibility to cover and share these important
and historical border stories. How could
I not…”
I’ll never forget this, because it was the moment I saw with my own eyes that the America I love was becoming a nation that steals refugee children from their parents,& caged them.— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 25, 2019
More kids died after this. To date, no one has been held accountable.
We need to save these kids. https://t.co/HhdMqc5zML
It’s easily discernable
these are glam shots; all front-and-center with no trace of terrified migrant
children enduring unforgiving living conditions. She did
visit the area while campaigning for her congressional seat, but not since
then.
AOC was perfectly satisfied
with the manner in which illegal aliens arriving at our border were being
treated by the Obama Administration.
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News. As always, we are grateful to
Doug Ross for linking to this post.
Welcome readers from GOP Briefing Room!
The “Death To America” Crowd
Tensions have risen in
the Persian Gulf when the Trump Administration revoked waivers on the
importation of Iranian oil. Since May,
the Islamic Republic of Iran has attacked numerous oil tankers near the Strait
of Hormuz and shot down an American spy drone over international air space.
The drone shoot-down
was only the latest flare-up in the region tied to Iran.
President Trump was
prepared to retaliate against the rogue nation but ordered a stand down after
it was determined the action would have been disproportionate. That action would have killed upwards of 150
people on the ground. The drone was unmanned. The stand down order was widely criticized on
both sides of the aisle.
Those critics, of
course, did not have at their disposal the intelligence reports provided by the
Pentagon to the President. It turns out retaliatory
cyber attacks were carried out against Iran even as he called off the
airstrikes.
Rep. Maxine “Dumbass” Waters
(D-CA) pumped out a series of tweets accusing the President of wanting to go to
war with Iran claiming the downed U.S. drone was flying in Iran’s airspace.
Trump, you get no credit for so-called stopping the strike against Iran. Why was the unmanned drone in Iran's airspace? Why the surveillance? Don't provoke and then pretend innocence.— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) June 23, 2019
Trump, we know you are angling for war with Iran. Stop it now. Iran was in compliance with the JCPOA. You and Netanyahu had better not try to take us to war. We don't need it & Israel doesn't need it.— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) June 23, 2019
National Security
Advisor John Bolton has repeatedly insisted Washington had “held the door open
to real negotiations” and that “in response, Iran's silence has been deafening.”
On Monday the President
signed an executive order with new hard-hitting sanctions on Iran directly
targeted at Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei after what he called a “series of
aggressive behaviors” by the regime.
He said the Ayatollah's
own finances would now be in U.S. crosshairs. “I'll be signing an Executive Order
imposing hard-hitting sanctions on the Supreme Leader of Iran, on the Office of
the Supreme Leader of Iran and many others.”
Iran's President Hassan
Rouhani declared the new sanctions are “outrageous and idiotic” and will fail
because Ayatollah Khamenei, one of the main targets, has no foreign assets.
According to a published
report from Bloomberg, Khamenei “has possession valued at an estimated $200
billion.” He’s backed by the Islamic
Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC).
The U.S. Treasury
Department said on Monday the new sanctions will include eight officials of the
IRGC who “supervised malicious regional activities” including its ballistic
missile program and “harassment and sabotage” of commercial ships in
international waters.
Iran’s
Foreign Ministry spokesman Abbas Mousavi warned, “The fruitless sanctions on
Iran’s leadership and the chief of Iranian diplomacy mean the permanent closure
of the road of diplomacy.”
Last week’s tanker and
drone attacks were the desperate actions of a government trying to provoke an
American response.
Iran is home to the
world’s fourth-largest proven reserve of crude oil and holds the world’s
second-largest proven reserve of natural gas, after Russia.
Under President Trump’s
maximum-pressure campaign, the U.S. has cut off Iran’s ability to sell crude on
the global market and threatened to sanction any nation that purchases it. Oil
covers a third of the $80 billion a year the government spends in Iran, meaning
that a fall in oil revenues cuts into its social welfare programs, as well as
its military expenditures.
Good. Keep them hemmed
in. Four more years of President Trump could almost certainly mean less than
four more years for the mullahs of the Islamic Republic.
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored News. We thank Doug Ross for linking to this post.
Monday, June 24, 2019
Flowing Curves of Beauty
Celebrity Edition - The power is off temporarily at Casa de Curmudgeon, so this week we have a bevy of famous ladies, some more famous than others. See how many can you identify?
Sunday, June 23, 2019
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Striped Pajamas
In the Holocaust novel The Boy In The Striped
Pajamas,
9-year-old Bruno is told by Pavel, “Just because a man glances up at the sky does
not make him an astronomer.”
I cite this quote
because the Bronx Bolshevik continues to demonstrate her incalculable callowness
by deliberately connecting the United States to Nazi Germany in the
public’s mind.
She hammered the Trump Administration
for putting migrants in “concentration camps” during an Instagram live stream
Monday night. A day later, she tweeted a link to an Esquire
article from last week which quoted a University of Virginia lecturer saying
concentration camps have a far larger meaning than usually associated with the
Nazis during World War II.
"The fact that
concentration camps are now an institutionalized practice in the land of the
free is extraordinarily disturbing," Ocasio-Cortez said.
"And for the
shrieking Republicans who don’t know the difference: concentration camps are
not the same as death camps. Concentration camps are considered by experts as
'the mass detention of civilians without trial.' And that’s exactly what
this Administration is doing.”
So provocative were her remarks the Jewish Community
Relations Council of New York condemned her preposterous comparison in the
strongest terms possible in a letter they sent her the following day.
“Since 1976, the Jewish
Community Relations Council of New York has acted as a key source to the New
York Congressional Delegation on issues of concern to 1.4 million member New
York Jewish Community. As our city is
home to the largest Holocaust survivor community in the United States, we would
be pleased to work with you to arrange a visit to a concentration camp, a local
Holocaust museum, hear the stories of local survivors, or participate in other
educational opportunities in the hopes of better understanding the horrors of
the Holocaust.”
“Until that time, we
urge you to refrain from using terminology evocative of the Holocaust to
concerns about contemporary political issues.”
We urge @AOC to refrain from using terminology evocative of the Holocaust tonvoice concerns about contemporary political issues, as per our letter below. pic.twitter.com/276hH8jRWn— JCRC of New York (@JCRCNY) June 18, 2019
The shameless hypocrisy
of the Left is breathtaking. So short
are their memories they forget that in 2014, in the midst of a panic over the
surge of Central American children and families into the U.S., the Obama
Administration started
holding hundreds of families in a makeshift facility in New Mexico and built
a pair of permanent family detention centers.
His July 8, 2014, request
to Congress included “$879 million [for ICE] would pay for detention
and removal of apprehended undocumented adults traveling with children,”
several hundred million in funding for the State Department to “repatriate and
reintegrate migrants to Central America, and $5 million in a media campaign in
Central America to “deliver the message that unaccompanied children are not
given a permit to stay in the U.S.”
DHS ripped 1000s of children from their parents & put them in cages w inhumane conditions.— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 19, 2019
They call their cells “dog pounds” & “freezers.”
I will never apologize for calling these camps what they are.
If that makes you uncomfortable, fight the camps - not the nomenclature. https://t.co/eJpJWeYiot
Dog pounds? Freezers?
Oh Sweetie, what do you have to say about this photograph
taken on June 25, 2014 showing Obama’s Secretary of Homeland Security, Jeh
Johnson, visiting the U.S. Customs and Border Protection Nogales Placement
Center with then-Governor Jan Brewer and Nogales Mayor Arturo Garino?
Relentless hypocrisy
eventually becomes the truth. That is
the calling card of the Left.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Zinger-geddon
According to The
Wall Street Journal, President Trump's political advisers wanted to keep
the him off Twitter during the Democratic debates next week, arguing that there
was an advantage in letting potential challengers attack one another without
distraction.”
“Now, there’s a new
strategy.”
The debates set for
June 26 and 27 will feature his favorite targets, Pocahontas on the first night
and Sleepy Joe Biden and Crazy Bernie the following evening.
President Trump can fit
two, three, or even four distinct statements into a single tweet.
Each little rhetorical zinger hits the feeds of his 61.1 million followers with
tremendous force.
I believe it will be Crazy Bernie Sanders vs. Sleepy Joe Biden as the two finalists to run against maybe the best Economy in the history of our Country (and MANY other great things)! I look forward to facing whoever it may be. May God Rest Their Soul!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 17, 2019
While
his challengers reserve space on their Twitter feeds to fit in links to policy
proposals or flattering coverage from the fake news, Donald Trump is
totally comfortable yielding every last character in his tweets to rhetorical
flourishes. They work so well; the actual content hardly matters.
The DNC's decision to
not let FOX News host any Democratic presidential primary debates means the
already slumping ratings for CNN and MSNBC will not improve as they host the
debates.
I have an idea: If they really, really, really wanted to
punch up the debates they would overlay Trump’s live tweets on the screen. It would be Zinger-geddon.
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News. Thanks for stopping by and thanks to Doug Ross for linking to this
post.
Monday, June 17, 2019
Buttigieg Owns The “Prove You Are Not A Homophobe” Lane
Hoo boy. Pete Buttigieg did an interview with Axios
on HBO in which Mike Allen asked, “Republicans claimed that John Kerry was
a traitor in Vietnam. That Barack Obama was a Muslim. If you were to win the
nomination, they'll say you're too young, too liberal, too gay to be Commander-in-Chief.
You are young. You are a liberal. You are gay. How will you respond?"
Buttigieg replied,
"I'll respond by explaining where I want to lead this country. People will
elect the person who will make the best president. And we have had
excellent presidents who have been young. We have had excellent presidents who
have been liberal. I would imagine we've probably had excellent presidents who
were gay—we just didn't know which ones."
Allen challenged
Buttigieg on his claim asking, “You believe we’ve had a gay Commander-in-Chief?”
To which he responded, “I mean, statistically, it’s almost certain.”
Asked if he knew which
ones were, the South Bend mayor quipped, “My gaydar doesn’t work that well in
the present let alone retroactively, but one can only assume that’s the case.”
Learning of the Axios
interview, the Daily Mail theorized, “Some
Presidents—notably 15th Commander-in-Chief James Buchanan, the only lifelong
bachelor among the 45 men—have been the subject of speculation. There have
also been rumors about Abraham Lincoln and Richard Nixon, although the evidence
is a long way from conclusive in either case.
The LGBTQ community, which
constitutes around 4.5 per cent of the population, is feverishly promoting his “historic
appeal.”
Buttigieg wastes no
time in claiming his sexual orientation is not the only thing that defines
him. He also talks at great length about
his military service hoping to set himself apart from the clown car full of 2020
Democrat presidential contenders. He
spent nine months on active duty service as a Navy intelligence officer with
six of those months in Afghanistan.
In his book “Shortest
Way Home,” Buttigieg wrote about how he expected to spend the bulk of
his time as an intelligence analyst “behind a sophisticated computer terminal
in a secure area.”
In a published report
from The
Hill, Buttigieg mentioned at least 119 times on the campaign trail that he “crossed
outside the wire” leaving the relative safety of the base in Kabul as a vehicle
commander on convoy security details.
A review of his certificate
of release from active duty by military officials noted he likely did not
engage in direct combat which would have earned him a Navy Combat Ribbon.
Clinton and her super-PACs raised a total of $1.2 billion in 2016 and it still wasn't enough to overcome Donald Trump. So, who cares?https://t.co/qseK0BLqeQ— PoliticalClownParade (@PoliticalClownP) June 17, 2019
UPDATE: Welcome Bad Blue Uncensored
News readers and thanks to Doug Ross for linking to this post.
Flowing Curves Of Beauty
I just copied my Match.com bio from a used car
website:
White - Good condition - Reliable - Cheap -
Minimal body damage. MUST SEE.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Friday, June 14, 2019
Will He Go Full Frontal?
South Bend Mayor “Alfred
E. Newman” will be featured in the next issue of Playboy magazine focusing on
LGBTQ rights.
Speaking during an MSNBC
town hall hosted by Chris Matthews in Fresno, CA earlier this month, he
was asked how he would have acted had he been in the Senate as sexual
misconduct allegations swirled around Minnesota’s Hall of Fame moron Al
Franken.
Franken, you’ll remember,
was called on to resign after multiple women accused him of engaging in sexual
misconduct. Every Democrat senator
demanded his resignation.
Buttigieg said he
wouldn’t have joined his Democrat colleagues saying, “I would not have
applied that pressure at that time.”
Buttigieg has tapped
into a powerful network of LGBTQ donors, a wealthy, engaged, and motivated group
that has for years been a driving force behind Democrat presidential candidates
but that has never had a gay major-party candidate to rally behind in a
presidential election.
We learned just the
other day that a political organization backing LGBTQ candidates for office,
Victory Fund, is planning to endorse the first gay candidate for president. Mayor Pete will formally
receive the group’s backing on June 20th in Boston.
I need someone to
explain to me why a magazine, once considered the vanguard of the sexual revolution,
whose sole purpose for decades was to objectify women is pushing the candidacy
of a gay man who wouldn’t touch a woman
with a 10-foot pole.
When Pictures Of Norwegian Operatives Surface
Who believed for a
skinny minute when skeevie worm George Stephanopolous interviewed President
Trump the other day the President didn’t know exactly what dirty tricks the Clinton
minion was pulling?
You’ll remember little
Georgie asked if the President’s campaign were contacted by a foreign entity with
dirt on his opponent would he notify the FBI.
The President answered, “I think maybe you do both. I think you might
want to listen. There isn’t anything wrong with listening,” the President
answered. “If somebody called from a country—Norway—and said, ‘We have
information on your opponent’—oh, I think I’d want to hear it.”
The President went on
to say everyone does it. This revelation
set Beltway tongues wagging and Twitter filled up with renewed calls from 2020
Democrat challengers to impeach.
In February 2018, the Daily
Mail published a report detailing a prank call made to Adam “Pencil Neck”
Schiff by two Russian comedians. In the
audio recording, the comedians offered “compromising dirt” on President Trump
including nude photos.
Schiff claimed he knew
all along the call was bogus and yet his staff engaged in correspondence with
what they thought was a Ukrainian politician to obtain the “classified”
material promised in the call.
The Washington Examiner’s Byron
York was among many who pointed out that former Secretary
of State Hillary Clinton was involved in funding opposition research conducted
by British spy Christopher Steele that relied on foreign sources.
Just for clarity: Steele was not dossier's source. In Steele's words, sources were: A: senior Russian Foreign Ministry figure; B: former top level Russian intelligence officer still active inside the Kremlin; C: senior Russian financial official; and G: senior Kremlin official.— Byron York (@ByronYork) June 13, 2019
The Senate tried
passing a bill via unanimous consent on Thursday, which would force any campaign
that was contacted by a foreign entity to report it to the FBI, but
Tennessee Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) blocked it.
On the floor moments ago, Blackburn said that the Warner legislation's reporting requirements are "overbroad." She says that it would apply to campaign workers on "so many different levels" -- from vendors to door knockers to phone bankers.— Manu Raju (@mkraju) June 13, 2019
If history is a guide there’s no need for the President to tell the FBI someone from Norway has dirt on an opponent... since it’s likely the FBI sent them to begin with— Sean Spicier (@sean_spicier) June 13, 2019
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News. We thank Doug Ross for linking
to this post.
Thursday, June 13, 2019
The Lunatic Fringe
Following on the heels
of Democrat presidential hopeful Sen. Kirsten Gillebrand’s preposterous
statement equating those of us who are pro-life with racists,
a fake gringa representing the 35th Congressional District in
California said on the House floor, “Mr. Speaker, it is tiring to hear from so
many sex-starved males on this floor talk about a woman’s right to choose.”
That moronic comment
came from Rep. Norma Torres (D-CA) during a debate on a spending bill for the
Department of Health and Human Services.
Rep. Ross Spano (R-FL) opposed the legislation pointing out it weakened
protections against federal tax dollars being used to fund abortions. Spano said, “For more than 40 years, this
country operated under the policy that not one cent of taxpayer money can be
used to fund abortion. We are a nation that deeply values religious liberty.”
Rep. @NormaJTorres: "It is tiring to hear from so many sex-starved males on this floor talk about a woman's right to choose."— CSPAN (@cspan) June 12, 2019
Full video here: https://t.co/Or3WK3Qr4H pic.twitter.com/iPv0W7SB4q
In March of 2013, Alisa
Lapolt Snow, a lobbyist representing the Florida Alliance of Planned Parenthood
Affiliates, testified before the Florida House to oppose a law requiring
abortionists to provide care for babies born alive during botched abortions in
the starkest terms possible.
Snow told the Florida
legislature that if a child is born alive during a botched abortion, its
survival “should be
left up to the woman, her family, and the physician.”
In response to
the new abortion law in Georgia and legislation in Alabama, National
Public Radio restated
its long-standing guidance regarding abortion and related topics.
“One thing to keep in
mind about this law and others like it: Proponents refer to it as a ‘fetal
heartbeat’ law. That is their term. It needs to be attributed to them if used
and put in quotation marks if printed. We should not simply say the
laws are about when a ‘fetal heartbeat’ is detected. As
we've reported, heartbeat activity can be detected ‘about six weeks into a
pregnancy.’ That's at least a few weeks before an embryo is a fetus.”
“The term ‘unborn’
implies that there is a baby inside a pregnant woman, not a fetus. Babies are
not babies until they are born. They’re fetuses. Incorrectly calling a fetus a ‘baby’
or ‘the unborn’ is part of the strategy used by anti-abortion groups to shift
language/legality/public opinion.”
Joy Pullman, mother of
five and Executive Editor of The Federalist noted,
“…since newspersons deal in daily atrocity and gore from the likes of wars,
famines, and hurricanes, it’s hard to understand why they all drive out to gawk
at the law-breaking foreigners Americans feed, give medical care to, clothe,
protect, and transport, but want to stay as far away as possible from other
vulnerable people our society allows to have their heads mortally pierced with
scissors or a scalpel inside their own mother’s wombs.”
It would appear Torres
alienated her constituents well before yesterday’s reprehensible remarks:
So even your constituents are waking up! #normatorres! How amusing!! I may be blocked but @sbdiocese @SanBernardinoPD @SanBernardinoVE @SanBernardinoPy @SanBernardinoCA @thehill @nytimes @JudicialWatch @washingtonpost @FoxNews @fox5dc @latimes @SouthcaliUSA pic.twitter.com/fTWSDrBCga— BettyMarroquΓn (@BettyMarroquin9) May 7, 2019
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News and thank you Doug Ross for linking to this post.
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
Make My Name Really, Really Big
The poster boy for fake
news is hawking his “tell-all” book outlining what’s it like reporting on the
Trump Administration.
The new book by Jim
Acosta, “The Enemy of the People: A Dangerous Time to Tell the Truth in America”
was promoted on CNN’s comedy hour Reliable Sources with Tater Stelter
and people noticed the book’s cover.
Dear Diary now that I have reviewed my book printing my only regret is that I couldn’t make my name even bigger. https://t.co/tpFimxj7fj— Jim Acosta’s Fake Diary (@JimAcostasDiar1) June 10, 2019
You do realize you just had a book published that reads: “Jim Acosta: Enemy of the People,” right?— Montgomery Granger (@mjgranger1) June 9, 2019
Little Jimmy is so focused
on making everything about him that he can't report the news. His
goal is to become the news. In his interview with Tater he tried
to elicit sympathy because he feels “unsafe”.
What a pantywaist. There are real
journalists across the globe reporting from warzones in the Middle East and
elsewhere where terrorists are slaughtering people. Being shown up by a president who calls out
his bullshit is not a threat. It’s
called the truth; something from which he and his network are thoroughly
divorced.
CNN’s Jim @Acosta on his new book about President Trump and the media: “I wanted to send a message to folks who really care about what we do, and the message is basically this: I did not want my children to grow up in a country where the press is called the enemy of the people.” pic.twitter.com/64UBnpSJUC— Reliable Sources (@ReliableSources) June 9, 2019
You can rest assured our
newshound Dexter Sprinkley will not paw a book in search of notoriety. All he wants is a tennis ball, plenty of
kibble and belly rubs.
UPDATE: Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored
News.
Monday, June 10, 2019
Iowa Democrat Party Hall Of Fame Clown Show
We have launched the
PCP News Channel hiring a well-bred newshound, Dexter Sprinkley, to anchor our
newscast. Our focus will be on the field
of 2020 Democrat candidates for president and to counter the fake news of Tater
Stelter, The Accoster, Don LeMon and Ricky Madcow.
We have spared no
expense in bringing you this innovative coverage of the political events that
will have an impact on the future of our republic.
We purchased a dog
house for Dexter and had a muralist paint the backdrop of a newsroom inside it. We greased the palm of a nerd at a local
electronics store to buy a new GoPro Hero 7 camera with 4K HD streaming and a
Magic Mic™ and installed a 75-inch 4K Ultra HD widescreen TV.
Dexter’s first field report
is from the Doubletree Hilton in Cedar Rapids, IA where 19 candidates challenging
President Trump spoke for five minutes to the assembled audience.
Beto the Furry rented a
taco truck and served free chorizo. John
Delaney hired a bagpiper and a mini blimp to fly overhead. Pocahontas’ supporters wore bright feather boas. (Feather headdresses would have been too
on-the-nose.)
Amy Klobuchar, senator
from the Great State of Minnesota, tried to sell herself to the crowd as
someone from America’s heartland in an unoriginal Sarah Palin-like manner
saying, “I can see Iowa from my porch.”
The socialist guy who
combs his hair with a balloon marched with striking workers and activists and
Mayor Alfred E. Neuman hosted a barbecue as he played the piano with a local
band.
Look at the throng of
peeps to see him:
Picnic in the park with @PeteButtigieg in Cedar Rapids Iowa, starting soon! pic.twitter.com/bQX1guKb6t— Barb Ferris (@BJFerris) June 9, 2019
This ain’t your grandpa’s
Democrat Party. It’s full of socialists,
identity politics activists and super-pissed leftists and all they ever clearly
articulate is “Trump should be impeached, Trump is a racist, Trump is a fascist
and Trump is mentally ill.”
Other than that, these
party clowns with bubbles coming out of their hinies ain’t got squat.
If you’re interested,
you can watch their 5-minute speeches via The Des Moines Register by clicking
on the links below.
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