We have launched the
PCP News Channel hiring a well-bred newshound, Dexter Sprinkley, to anchor our
newscast. Our focus will be on the field
of 2020 Democrat candidates for president and to counter the fake news of Tater
Stelter, The Accoster, Don LeMon and Ricky Madcow.
We have spared no
expense in bringing you this innovative coverage of the political events that
will have an impact on the future of our republic.
We purchased a dog
house for Dexter and had a muralist paint the backdrop of a newsroom inside it. We greased the palm of a nerd at a local
electronics store to buy a new GoPro Hero 7 camera with 4K HD streaming and a
Magic Mic™ and installed a 75-inch 4K Ultra HD widescreen TV.
Dexter’s first field report
is from the Doubletree Hilton in Cedar Rapids, IA where 19 candidates challenging
President Trump spoke for five minutes to the assembled audience.
Beto the Furry rented a
taco truck and served free chorizo. John
Delaney hired a bagpiper and a mini blimp to fly overhead. Pocahontas’ supporters wore bright feather boas. (Feather headdresses would have been too
on-the-nose.)
Amy Klobuchar, senator
from the Great State of Minnesota, tried to sell herself to the crowd as
someone from America’s heartland in an unoriginal Sarah Palin-like manner
saying, “I can see Iowa from my porch.”
The socialist guy who
combs his hair with a balloon marched with striking workers and activists and
Mayor Alfred E. Neuman hosted a barbecue as he played the piano with a local
band.
Look at the throng of
peeps to see him:
Picnic in the park with @PeteButtigieg in Cedar Rapids Iowa, starting soon! pic.twitter.com/bQX1guKb6t— Barb Ferris (@BJFerris) June 9, 2019
This ain’t your grandpa’s
Democrat Party. It’s full of socialists,
identity politics activists and super-pissed leftists and all they ever clearly
articulate is “Trump should be impeached, Trump is a racist, Trump is a fascist
and Trump is mentally ill.”
Other than that, these
party clowns with bubbles coming out of their hinies ain’t got squat.
If you’re interested,
you can watch their 5-minute speeches via The Des Moines Register by clicking
on the links below.
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