Granny Clinton’s Egregious Circle Of Life

I Voted Early

Not normally a superstitious person, I was reticent to trundle down to my polling station and cast my vote in the 2016 presidential election.  After all, in 2008 and again in 2012, my guy got shellacked.

I had an 8:45 AM appointment with my pulmonologist during which I learned that there had been an issue with the refrigerator used to store vaccines for the flu and pneumonia.  After I left the doctor’s office I went to my local pharmacy and got both shots.  I was feeling slightly invincible.  “How about a bite to eat and then girding your loins to tackle that early vote?” I asked myself.

I pointed the car in the direction of my polling station to find folks lined up around the building and out to the street.  I thought about aborting my plans, but reasoned that the lines weren’t going to get any shorter so I parked the car and assumed my position in line.

People were friendly.  No one was on their phone.  Some conversations were fairly audible, others were hushed.  About 20 minutes in, I heard a woman somewhere in the back of the line begin to hack and wheeze and cough.  I thought, “This is my chance to be a real smartass.”  So…I hollered quizzically, “Hillary?  Is that you?”  The reaction from those in line was priceless.  “Lock her up!  Lock her up!” they chanted.  I made a funny.

When I finally made it inside and a poll worker escorted me to my voting machine, I looked down at the first screen totally unprepared for the impact of seeing the name of the first ever unindicted felon on the ballot for President of the United States.  This was a moment in history—a chance to stake my political claim—to stop a corrupt bitch from being coronated.

Today, I canceled out Colin Powell’s vote.  

Hillary Must Be As Nervous As A Virgin At A Prison Rodeo

As speaker after speaker laid out the case against Hillary Clinton’s tortured relationship with the truth and as delegates on the floor of the Republican National Convention rose to their feet chanting, “Lock her up!  Lock her up!  Lock her up!” Donald Trump’s opponent must be as nervous as a virgin at a prison rodeo.

In a published report by The Wall Street Journal, the problem for the unindicted felon is further complicated by the fact that 22 million people tuned in to watch the brutal attacks on her during the first night of the convention.  Fox News averaged 6.35 million viewers and CNN drew 3.94 million viewers while MSNBC attracted almost 2 million viewers.

Sasquatch…It Exists

Screeching Fiend In Burlap Armani Pantsuit Lays Egg On Stage

Watching Hillary at a campaign event in Annandale, VA was cringe-inducing as she robotically clicked and whirred attempting to tell a joke.

Clinton tried to be funny as she referenced the popular game Pokémon Go, “I don’t know who created Pokémon Go, but I’m trying to figure out how to get them to have ‘Pokémon Go to the Polls’”.

Desperate to overcome her generation gap with millennials, she flailed trying to prove how hip she was by referencing the game and her campaign website is currently advertising a PokéStop in Lakewood, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland, which plays host to the Republican National Convention next week.

For the uninitiated, Pokémon is an app on your Smartphone which alerts you to the location of unseen monsters.  I presume Hillary’s PokéStop will reveal her as Snorlax, a Pokémon known for its massive structure or Bulbasaur a Pokémon with a short, blunt snout, red eyes, wide mouth and thick legs with sharp claws.

I don’t care how hard she tries to sway young voters, she will always be about as inspiring as a chaperone at a frat party.  Bernie voters ain’t buying what Granny’s selling.

.@jaketapper This is proof Andy Kaufmann is still alive and the 2016 election is his masterpiece comedy projecthttps://t.co/RIXUuaAuNm

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 14, 2016

The joke is not helped by seeing the video. pic.twitter.com/W8n8EMh1gf

— Philip Bump (@pbump) July 14, 2016

New #Pokemon creature: everytime u catch her all ur emails get deleted& FBI shows up to let her go#HillaryForPrison pic.twitter.com/MUn1WoerfQ

— Mandi (@MissMandi00) July 14, 2016

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Larwyn's Linx.

She’s Melting…Melting

Just as the death of the spawn of Hades, Ramsay Bolton was satisfying for viewers in Season 6 of the HBO Original Series Game of Thrones, news today that the Screeching Banshee’s lead over Donald Trump has withered to a meager 3 percentage points ushered in a mirthful schadenfreude for all the #NeverHillary folks out there.  She had it coming.

The release today of the latest Quinnipiac Poll shows Trump leads Clinton in Florida 42 to 39, in Pennsylvania he leads 43 to 41 and they are tied at 41 in Ohio.

Quinnipiac takes twelve days to compile their polling results.  That’s important because this poll was begun before FBI Director recommended Clinton not be charged for mishandling classified material and ended after Attorney General Loretta Lynch abdicated her responsibility as the head of Obama’s Department of Justice.

Although Clinton was not indicted legally she was indicted politically.  The facts surrounding “Emailgate” have borne out as a two-tiered system of justice—one for the politically well-connected and one for the rest of us.  The Q Poll also highlighted that Clinton’s unfavorables are now higher than Trump’s.

Except for stalwarts in her party, Hillary is universally despised.  Having outspent Trump 40 to 1 to this point in the campaign you’d think the Screeching Banshee would be 10, 20 maybe even 30 points ahead.  But she ain’t.

Hopefully America will reject the “extremely careless” hag in November.

Worth A Thousand Words

Hillary Not Headed To Slammer However Her Party Is Now In Prison

Some on the Right began speculating that FBI Director James Comey’s perplexing upbraiding of Hillary Clinton on Tuesday only to ignore the findings of his agents and let her skate on espionage charges, the mishandling of the nation’s secrets,, yadda, yadda, yadda, was his attempt to forestall the election chaos indicting her would create.

Director Comey will appear before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on Thursday at 10 a.m. on C-SPAN 3.  Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) will seek more information from Comey regarding why he did not recommend charges be filed.

Greg Gutfeld, one of the co-hosts of The Five on Fox News, made an interesting observation in his monologue yesterday. 

Gutfeld noted, “Comey delivered a plate of juicy soundbites to the Republicans.”  He added Comey portrayed Clinton as “incompetent, careless and unsafe in an increasingly unsafe world.  She’s not a criminal, she’s damaged goods.”

NOTE:  I wish to thank Mr. Gutfeld for the title of this post.

United States democrats said to be well satisfied with choice of reliably corrupt Hillary Clinton over dangerously honest Bernard Sanders.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) July 5, 2016

Above The Law

Too Big To Jail

FBI director said Hillary Clinton and her staff were "extremely careless" in their use of email https://t.co/3hnkK9BqKE

— The New York Times (@nytimes) July 5, 2016

FBI DirComey: Hillary had 110 classified emails at the time they were sent or received, eight of which were "top scret" and 36 were "secret"

— Matt Mackowiak (@MattMackowiak) July 5, 2016

This press conference is devastating to Hillary Clinton. Whether charges are brought or not. Clearly this was not a simple security review.

— Brian Fraley (@Dailytakes) July 5, 2016

Despite evidence to the contrary, FBI recommendation is no prosecution. Shocking no one.

— Kemberlee Kaye (@KemberleeKaye) July 5, 2016

David Axelrod on CNN: "There was never going to be an elegant resolution to this matter"

— Toby Harnden (@tobyharnden) July 5, 2016

Worth A Thousand Words

Just Point And Laugh

The 74-year-old milquetoast Socialist made his first public admission that he is unlikely to be the Democratic presidential nominee Wednesday on C-SPAN.

"It doesn't appear that I'm going to be the nominee."

The senator also said he was not being vetted to become the running mate of the sack of Russet potatoes with earrings. “It would be a terrible mistake for her to go to a candidate who has roots from Wall Street or has been backed by Wall Street,” he said.

Sanders added his campaign had been in regular contact with the target of an FBI criminal investigation and planned to push for “the most progressive platform in the history of the Democratic Party,” including planks on campaign finance, health care, higher education and the minimum wage.

The senator also said he expected to address the crowd gathered in Philadelphia next month. “I’ve given a few speeches in my life,” he said. “It would be nice to speak at the Democratic National Convention. If they, for whatever reason, don’t want me to speak, you know, so what? But by the way, I expect that I will speak.”

The progressive political movement emboldened by Bernie Sanders' insurgent campaign of young “Berniecrats” is preparing to "crash" next month's Democratic National Convention, demanding the party establishment take steps to reject corporate influence and reform its nominating process.

"If the Democratic Party wants to put on a $50 million infomercial saying, 'Hey vote for us,' without committing to make this the last corrupt, billionaire-nominated voter suppression-marred election, then we're going to crash the party," said Kai Newkirk, director of Democracy Spring, a nonpartisan activist coalition dedicated to "mass nonviolent action" against big money in politics.

Hassle line exercise at the #PPLSummit. Training for the political revolution. #DNCDemocracySpring pic.twitter.com/dA5l17QpJx

— Democracy Spring (@DemSpring) June 18, 2016

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A shuttered Philadelphia prison that was built 120 years ago and once used inmates as test subjects for biochemical research is being readied in case space is needed to hold protesters arrested during the Democratic National Convention.

Tens of thousands of protesters are expected at the July 25-28 convention. 

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