State Department Finally Gives (Almost) Four Year Old Benghazi Phone Transcripts to Judicial Watch, and They're Filled With LIES

Judicial Watch(Washington, DC)– The Obama State Department last week admitted it withheld a key Benghazi email of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton from Judicial Watch since at least September 2014. If the State Department disclosed the email when first supposedly found, Clinton’s email server and her hidden emails would have been disclosed nearly two years ago, before Clinton authorized the alleged deletion of tens of thousands of emails.

It gets worse...Read the rest about the phone transcripts finally delivered that prove State Department and White House lying about Benghazi at Judicial Watch and Breitbart.

Huma Almost Wept Because She Feared Hillary's Wrath

Washington Free Beacon - Hillary Clinton’s closest aide Huma Abedin is so devoted to her boss that she almost sobbed upon learning Clinton had to carry her own bag, a Newsweek profile revealed Thursday.

“Abedin took her duties so seriously, the source recalled, that when she learned that Clinton had once carried her own bag up a flight of stairs in her aide’s absence, Abedin nearly burst into tears,” Newsweek reported.

The same source said that Clinton once snapped her fingers and said “Gum” to Abedin.

“A lot of times, Hillary would snap her fingers and go, ‘Gum.’ And Huma would fetch it,” the source said.

Although Abedin no longer totes her boss’s bags around, she still carries Clinton’s infamous cell phone and serves her boss coffee and Mexican food.  Read the rest at the Washington Free Beacon.

Hillary Down by Seven Going Into NY

ZeroHedge - Seven In A Row for Bernie: Idaho, Utah, Alaska, Hawaii, Washington, Wisconsin, and now Wyoming.

And in celebration, on a related Clinton note, here's a Star Trek reference, just because Curmudgeon told us she hates Star Trek references!

Hillary's Collapse

From Salon author H.A. Goodman:

Hillary’s world collapsing around her: Wisconsin, Bernie’s surge and FBI probe poised to derail her White House bid

Clinton isn’t only facing a possible indictment, but also Sanders & millions of voters sick of status quo politics

Wisconsin represents more than just Bernie’s sixth straight win, or the likelihood of seven straight wins after Wyoming, right before New York. This political revolution, ignited by Bernie Sanders and fought for by people of all races, faiths, and ethnic backgrounds across the U.S. has been bolstered by political momentum. It’s not current delegate count or prior poll numbers, it’s unprecedented political momentum that will win Sanders the Democratic nomination.

It’s the fact Bernie Sanders isn’t going to be interviewed by the FBI like Clinton, and also the fact Wisconsin has kept political momentum alive at a crucial time in the Democratic Primary race. Since Sanders does better against GOP competition than Clinton, he’ll win the presidency when elected Democratic nominee. Clinton’s “FBI Primary” is around the corner and Wisconsin symbolizes the continuation of something profound.

Read the rest at Salon, even though we usually don't recommend going over there without a mental health professional handy.

Hillary Clinton's Super Tuesday Victory Celebrations Marred by Supernatural Manifestations, Broom Malfunctions

Gruntington Post [Miami] - Hillary Clinton enjoyed sweeping victories Tuesday night in the 2016 Presidential Democratic Primaries, but things didn't go smoothly here in Miami, Florida in the aftermath.  The problems began during candidate Clinton's victory speech, which one spectator described as "unusually empty and soulless, even for her."  At about the midpoint, the large screen behind the podium, recording incoming primary results, began flashing the results for Texas.

At this point in the returns, clinton's percentage in Texas had hit 66.6%, and that number began flashing furiously, accompanied by an eerie electronic waling sound, and the display caught fire and had to be shut down.  Although Sen. Clinton continued her speech without the screen, she was visibly shaken.  A few minutes later, Clinton's favorite skull necklace broke and scattered the carved antler skulls loudly all over the stage.  This caused audible gasps from the audience, and probably caused the speech to be ended prematurely.

Later on, campaign insiders volunteered that there had also been inexplicable technical problems during Hillary's flight to Miami earlier in the day.  Despite having a brand new Nimbus 2000 Flying Broom, which is one of the very most reliable brands, she developed lift problems over Jacksonville, Florida, and had to land, catching a chartered plane the rest of the way.

Despite these unnerving events, candidate Clinton was seen later to be sporting a game face during the victory party at the West Palm Beach Witches Union Hall (Coven #3123), even relaxing and enjoying her victory with a beer.

Friday Flyby: Hangar Queen Edition

Previous, easier on the eyes, Friday Flybys here and especially here.

Carl Reiner Is Even More Senile Than We Thought

Mean Tweets: Carl Reiner Edition.

Original tweet here.

"That Old Black Magic Has Me in its Spell..."

New Debate Photos Leaked from ABC Reveal Real Reason for Hillary's Delays

GRUNTINGTON POST [PARODY] - Already stung by several irregularities in the production of the December Democrat 2016 Presidential Debate Saturday night, ABC News has now been forced to address new photos leaked to various news services that raise questions about their handling of the debates.  It now appears that the network faked a half hour delay and restart of the event after one of the candidates showed up visibly drunk and without her wig.

After exchanging initial pleasantries with the moderators, candidate Hillary Clinton downed an entire water glass containing, apparently, some kind of vodka, and she then became belligerent and disrespectful of a producer with a Semitic name, asking him for "a smooch, hunky Jew boy."  After one of Mrs. Clinton's assistants apologized to the producer and lured the candidate off stage with an unopened bottle of Grey Goose, chaos was averted for a while until the event could be restarted at a half hour after the original airing time.

Islamic Scholar, Hillary Clinton, Demonstrates FGM at CFR to Prove that Muslims Are A-OK

Backstory here.

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

Hillarymadillos Showmethecashimus Serverblankimus, are New World Order placental mammals with a leathery armor shell. Because of this, Hillarymadillos prefer to be photographed only in soft focus. This armor-like skin ,although thin, appears to be the main defense of the Hillarymadillo, though some escape predatory reporters by fleeing, often into vans and prearranged photo ops, from which their armor protects them. When startled by honest questions, the species frequently roll up into a ball. 

Hillarymadillos have been spotted in Illinois, as far south as Arkansas and primarily can be found in New York state. The Hillarymadillo has very poor eyesight and are prolific diggers. Many species use their sharp claws to grub for money, preferably gold and cash. Bearer bonds, Russian caviar and large speaking fees have been known to lure the species from its lair.

 Hillarymadillos are solitary animals that do not share.

The Plant Whisperer

Original art by John Cox. More at John Cox Art

Hillary's Announcement Video Hacked

Original art by John Cox. More at John Cox Art

Check Out The New Hillary T-Shirts

There’s a big flap on the Intertoobs about Cankles’ new campaign logo.  Lefties are up in arms over the big red arrow pointing to the right.  Others think it’s amateurish.

ABC News contacted a visual communications scholar at the University of South Carolina who said he’d redesign it from scratch. 

"Red is a symbol for danger, and the campaign has a big and bold red arrow pointing right to the right that's dominating the whole logo.  I don’t know if the public wants that. The logo also looks industrial with all the hard edges of the rectangles and arrow. It just doesn't have a warm, fuzzy, welcoming feel."

Clinton's campaign team did not immediately respond to ABC News' calls and email requesting comment.

I wouldn’t change a thing.  She deserves to be mocked often and by those who know how.

So what lucky 3rd grader won the Design the Hillary Clinton Campaign Logo contest? pic.twitter.com/JlgthsKP8u
— The Punditry (@massfubar) April 12, 2015