In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Blogger friend Diogenes had a clever Photoshop™ posted at her place that tickled my funny bone.

I decided to pile on a bit.  Remember the 1979 science-fiction horror film Alien?  Of course you do.  Just when the plucky space trucker, Kane, thought he had emerged from a close encounter with the “facehugger” no worse for wear the crew was having dinner aboard the spacecraft Nostromo when the critter bursts out of his chest creating a visceral reaction on the audience and making it one of the most shocking scenes in horror film history.

Diogenes created an image of the “facehugger” popping out of Granny Clinton’s chest “confirming” the health rumors swirling around her.

One commenter noted “He’s got her eyes…and liver and spleen!”  Another exclaimed, “It does look a lot like mama.”

BINGO!  A new Photoshop™ was born.  Family reunions often begin at the airport don’t they?

Diogenes’ Unavoidable Envy

It all began with a blog post by Hammer and Loupe over at The People’s Cube in which the absurd notion was floated that the University of Alabama would replace its “racist elephant” mascot with a donkey.

“According to President Obama, the University of Alabama lost their privilege when they did not share their football trophies with the less fortunate colleges and universities.  Some folks thought they could get away with putting a Republican elephant next to a word that has ‘Bama in it.  That was a distasteful and disrespectful attack against me and I want Americans to realize that personal attacks against me will not be tolerated.  It’s not who we are.” 

“University of Alabama students became divided on the issue, with the best and the most progressive part of the student body organizing spontaneous marches in support of President Obama and his ruling.” 

"’Elephants are a symbol of oppression and Alabama has won too many trophies for their own good. The mascot change is progressive, and I hope Alabama will learn to share a bit more,’ said Melissa Click, former communications professor at the University of Missouri, who joined the march as a volunteer legal observer.” 

"Finally, there is someone else important that agrees with me,” added local sophomore Colin Cowherd, whom Ms. Click trusted to carry her purse.”

I had a good chuckle, but then my friend Diogenes apparently thought that goading her “SEC sister” (me) would be funny and decided to post Hammer and Loupe’s fairy tale over at her place.

I posted this comment:  I thought we were friends. Now I have carte blanche to post Tiger jokes right?

She replied:  It’s only fair I guess. LOL!  And we’ll try and relieve ya’ll of the burden of another SEC trophy this year. ;)

To which I replied:  That's a provocation.  I'll go all Trump on your ass.  I'm counting down the 5 1/2 months until we come to Death Valley and swing Mike by his tail in an epic victory.  ROLL TIDE!

Soon there appeared a comment by blogger buddy Woodsterman who noticed an uptick in my attitude and declared:   WHOOHOO! Girl Fight!

The advent of the Crimson Tide’s on-field mascot, Big Al, came during a game between Bama and Ole Miss waaaaay back in 1930, but it was legendary Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant who was instrumental in Big Al coming to life in 1979 during the Sugar Bowl, the game made famous for the goal-line stand that turned back the Nittany Lions of Penn State and gave Bama its 11th national championship.

The original costume now resides in a place of honor in the Paul W. Bryant Museum.  Big Al continues to stomp into the hearts of fans.

I’ve made good on my threat by photoshopping Mike the Tiger (LSU’s mascot) as half jackass, half tiger along with the highly coveted 2015 SEC Championship Trophy and Big Al clutching the 2016 CFP National Championship Trophy.

The rivalry between our schools is one of the most bitterly contested in all of football, but it doesn’t get in the way of our friendship.  Diogenes always roots for my boys and I for hers except when they battle each other.

The smack talk is all just good-natured fun and to prove it Diogenes' last reply to me was:  Okay, I guess as reigning national champion we can forgive your Trump-like bluster ‘til this fall. You earned the right.  We can stay SEC sisters, at least until that glorious night in November. ♥  Geaux Tigers!!!

Sorry Jan, but I have to get in this dig at ya:  Heisman Trophy winner Derrick Henry ran for 210 yards and three touchdowns and Alabama's defense smothered Leonard Fournette in a 30-16 rout over your Tigers a year ago.  See ya November 5th on the field of battle.

LSU Tigers Vs Ole Miss Rebels: SPECIAL EDITION

What is a dyed-in-the-wool Alabama fan doing touting a football game between the LSU Tigers and the Ole Miss Rebels?

My dear friend Diogenes has a broken heart following the death of her friend and former business partner Allen Toussaint.

Toussaint, the gentlemanly Rock and Roll Hall of Fame songwriter, producer, pianist and singer whose career spanned decades, passed away of a heart attack shortly after performing in Madrid, Spain.  He died doing what he loved—spreading the gift of New Orleans music around the globe.

As Diogenes prepared to say her final goodbye to her friend, she requested I post what she had intended put up at her place about her beloved Tigers.  It is my great honor to do that for her.

LSU @ Ole 'Missy—What started out as a promising season for the young Tigers is all but lost after last week’s loss to Oliver Hardy and an Arkansas team with a fraction of the talent.  The attempt to confuse the Hogs with an unfamiliar split offense instead of dancing with the one that brung ya, did nothing but confuse them. I don't blame the players; their youth and expectations seem to have caught up to them. 

What was expected by everyone to be a successful 10-2 season for the Tigers became blown up in the sports media into a No. 2 ranking they were never worthy of.  Hopefully the Tigers can take a deep breath and get back to playing at the level they're capable of or they'll be playing the Fighting Nuns of St. Mary's in the “99 Cent Bowl” next month. 

Diogenes’ Prediction:  Tigers by 6 

Charleston Southern @ Alabama—After convincingly silencing those @#$& cow bells of Starkville last week, my advice to Nick Saban is just play the second string and save their energy for Auburn…Oh wait…the entire team is first string!  

Diogenes’ Prediction:  Bama by 45 

TCU @ Oklahoma—This week TCU goes to Norman, Oklahoma to face the Sooners who laid waste to Baylor in their own house last week. This week the Froggys meet the same fate and become roadkill as the Sooners continue their march toward a chance at a playoff berth.  

Diogenes’ Prediction:  Here Comes Big Red - Sooners by 13 

LAST WEEK:  Once again I put the “Expert Sports Monkeys” in the weeds by correctly calling the upset of the overrated undefeated Baylor Bears at the hands of the Oklahoma Sooners last week and correctly called the Alabama/ Miss State game, but missed on the LSU/Arky game leaving me at 2-1 for the week.  

Diogenes’ Picks YTD - 19-5

Diogenes, we know the Good Lord will place His Hand upon your shoulder and give you comfort in the middle hour of your grief.  Stay strong, take care and know that we love you dearly.

GEAUX TIGERS!

If you’d like to say a few words to Diogenes, you can do so by visiting her tribute to the great Mr. Toussaint here.  I know she’d love to hear from you.