Friday, April 15, 2016

Diogenes’ Unavoidable Envy

It all began with a blog post by Hammer and Loupe over at The People’s Cube in which the absurd notion was floated that the University of Alabama would replace its “racist elephant” mascot with a donkey.
“According to President Obama, the University of Alabama lost their privilege when they did not share their football trophies with the less fortunate colleges and universities.  Some folks thought they could get away with putting a Republican elephant next to a word that has ‘Bama in it.  That was a distasteful and disrespectful attack against me and I want Americans to realize that personal attacks against me will not be tolerated.  It’s not who we are.” 
“University of Alabama students became divided on the issue, with the best and the most progressive part of the student body organizing spontaneous marches in support of President Obama and his ruling.” 
"’Elephants are a symbol of oppression and Alabama has won too many trophies for their own good. The mascot change is progressive, and I hope Alabama will learn to share a bit more,’ said Melissa Click, former communications professor at the University of Missouri, who joined the march as a volunteer legal observer.” 
"Finally, there is someone else important that agrees with me,” added local sophomore Colin Cowherd, whom Ms. Click trusted to carry her purse.”
I had a good chuckle, but then my friend Diogenes apparently thought that goading her “SEC sister” (me) would be funny and decided to post Hammer and Loupe’s fairy tale over at her place.

I posted this comment:  I thought we were friends. Now I have carte blanche to post Tiger jokes right?

She replied:  It’s only fair I guess. LOL!  And we’ll try and relieve ya’ll of the burden of another SEC trophy this year. ;)

To which I replied:  That's a provocation.  I'll go all Trump on your ass.  I'm counting down the 5 1/2 months until we come to Death Valley and swing Mike by his tail in an epic victory.  ROLL TIDE!

Soon there appeared a comment by blogger buddy Woodsterman who noticed an uptick in my attitude and declared:   WHOOHOO! Girl Fight!

The advent of the Crimson Tide’s on-field mascot, Big Al, came during a game between Bama and Ole Miss waaaaay back in 1930, but it was legendary Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant who was instrumental in Big Al coming to life in 1979 during the Sugar Bowl, the game made famous for the goal-line stand that turned back the Nittany Lions of Penn State and gave Bama its 11th national championship.

The original costume now resides in a place of honor in the Paul W. Bryant Museum.  Big Al continues to stomp into the hearts of fans.

I’ve made good on my threat by photoshopping Mike the Tiger (LSU’s mascot) as half jackass, half tiger along with the highly coveted 2015 SEC Championship Trophy and Big Al clutching the 2016 CFP National Championship Trophy.

The rivalry between our schools is one of the most bitterly contested in all of football, but it doesn’t get in the way of our friendship.  Diogenes always roots for my boys and I for hers except when they battle each other.

The smack talk is all just good-natured fun and to prove it Diogenes' last reply to me was:  Okay, I guess as reigning national champion we can forgive your Trump-like bluster ‘til this fall. You earned the right.  We can stay SEC sisters, at least until that glorious night in November. ♥  Geaux Tigers!!!

Sorry Jan, but I have to get in this dig at ya:  Heisman Trophy winner Derrick Henry ran for 210 yards and three touchdowns and Alabama's defense smothered Leonard Fournette in a 30-16 rout over your Tigers a year ago.  See ya November 5th on the field of battle.

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