Showing posts with label DPRK military arsenal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DPRK military arsenal. Show all posts

Friday, April 28, 2017

Ooof! Tubby Tyrant Exaggerates The Size Of His Dong

State-run news agency KCNA claimed the United States was to blame for growing tensions stating:
“It is just the US which has pushed the situation on the peninsula to the brink of nuclear war by staging the largest-ever aggressive joint military drills against the DPRK for the past two months after bringing all sorts of nuclear strategic assets to South Korea. No one in the world welcomes a gangster blackmailing the owner with a dagger.” 
“It is an entirely legitimate right to self-defense for the DPRK to further increase its war deterrent to cope with the prevailing grave situation on the peninsula. The present reality clearly proves that the DPRK was so right when it made a crucial decision to strengthen its nuclear force in quality and quantity.” 
“The nuclear force of the DPRK is a treasure sword of justice and reliable war deterrent to defend the sovereignty and dignity of the country and global peace from the nuclear war threat posed by the US.”
That “treasure sword of justice” includes half a million women in Nork uniform according to reports from defectors.  Women were forced into service when thousands of male soldiers starved to death or deserted their posts during the 1990s famine.

Kim Jong Un’s Taepodong-1 missile is incapable of reaching the United States.  A successful strike  would require launching Taepodong-2 missiles.  The tiny hermit nation has, thus far, only tested the Taepodong-1.

Seems somebody’s been exaggerating the size of his dong.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Sumbahdee Say Chockerat Cake?

Saturday was a super big day for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  State-run television broadcast the hermit nation’s military might during a parade celebrating the birth of the nation’s founder Kim Il Sung.

It was an impressive array of papier-mâché and polystyrene missiles perched on flatbed trucks.  There were even older technology Russian T34 tanks clattering down Kim Il Sung Square.  I hope someone called The Antiques Roadshow.

At one point, goose-stepping soldiers chanted in the direction of Dear Leader “We will die for you.”  It was a rogue’s gallery of starving, indoctrinated slaves.
The braggadocio of North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Han Song-ryol was especially entertaining on the eve of the Day of the Sun festivities.  “North Korea will go to war if the US rashly attempts to carry out a military provocation.”  Han added that the sixth nuclear test was a decision to be made by the North Korean leadership and if the leadership decided a test was necessary it would carry it out at a time and place of its choosing.  Ooooh.  Scary dude.

At 5:21 PM ET North Korea launched a missile near Sinpo.  It blew up almost immediately according to US Pacific Command.

I’m sure, like an overweight version of Pee Wee Herman, Dear Leader will say, “I meant to do that!”