Friday, April 28, 2017

Ooof! Tubby Tyrant Exaggerates The Size Of His Dong

State-run news agency KCNA claimed the United States was to blame for growing tensions stating:
“It is just the US which has pushed the situation on the peninsula to the brink of nuclear war by staging the largest-ever aggressive joint military drills against the DPRK for the past two months after bringing all sorts of nuclear strategic assets to South Korea. No one in the world welcomes a gangster blackmailing the owner with a dagger.” 
“It is an entirely legitimate right to self-defense for the DPRK to further increase its war deterrent to cope with the prevailing grave situation on the peninsula. The present reality clearly proves that the DPRK was so right when it made a crucial decision to strengthen its nuclear force in quality and quantity.” 
“The nuclear force of the DPRK is a treasure sword of justice and reliable war deterrent to defend the sovereignty and dignity of the country and global peace from the nuclear war threat posed by the US.”
That “treasure sword of justice” includes half a million women in Nork uniform according to reports from defectors.  Women were forced into service when thousands of male soldiers starved to death or deserted their posts during the 1990s famine.

Kim Jong Un’s Taepodong-1 missile is incapable of reaching the United States.  A successful strike  would require launching Taepodong-2 missiles.  The tiny hermit nation has, thus far, only tested the Taepodong-1.

Seems somebody’s been exaggerating the size of his dong.

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