Thursday, August 22, 2019

Inslee Bites The Dust

Since launching his campaign in March, Washington Governor Jay Inslee drew accolades from tree-hugging radicals and fellow Democrat presidential candidates who publicly supported the buck-toothed, big-boobed Bronx Bolshevik bartender’s Green New Deal for his ambitious plans to combat climate change.

Though likely Democrat voters have named the climate crisis among their top issues, Inslee and his proposals never garnered support on the campaign trail.

On Monday, Inslee’s campaign celebrated his amassing of 130,000 separate donors, surpassing a threshold set by the DNC to qualify for the third televised debate in September. But he was never close to the DNC’s other threshold — 2% support in early polls. He didn’t reach the mark in any poll and his polling average hovered just barely above zero.

On Wednesday morning, Inslee released the sixth plank of his comprehensive plan to combat climate change and transform the national economy. Just 12 hours later, he announced he was done on MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow show.  He said during the interview it had become clear to him he had no path to his party’s nomination.

"It's become clear that I'm not going to be carrying the ball.  I'm not going to be the president, so I'm withdrawing tonight from the race."

Inslee also said, “There are other avenues for me to be very effective at pushing the climate change message.”

Sure, you can, Jay.  It’s so easy a caveman can do it.  Why don’t you give Al Gore a ringy-dingy?  You can become ManBearPig, Jr. and become a trillionaire with a carbon footprint the size of Godzilla’s.

Gore’s home in the toney Belle Meade section of Music City, TN  guzzles more electricity in one year than the average American family uses in 21 years. Twenty-one YEARS.

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  We are compelled to inform our readers, so as not to trigger the folks at, that the GEICO™ caveman does not endorse this post nor Jay Inslee.

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

The “Blahs” Is Off To See The Wizard

Bill “The Groundhog Murderer” de Blasio is just another on-the-make political opportunist with a commitment to lunatic left-wing politics that’s purely conditional. 

When reporters recently noted that more than three-quarters of New Yorkers thought a presidential run was a bad idea, he dryly responded, “I’m glad I could unify the people of New York City.”

No matter what he does he’s met with mockery. There have been several national articles written explaining to the rest of the country why New Yorkers hate the putz.

A recent Quinnipiac University poll shows Blahs at zero percent support in the 2020 presidential race and he will not make the Democrat debate stage in September.  He’s taking on water faster than the Titanic.

The deluge of jokes about Hizzoner shows no signs of stopping.

Apparently, Lurch couldn’t make a flight to appear in person at the Iowa Federation of Labor and opted for a video call.  There was a “technical glitch” that hilariously altered his voice.  For all the world it sounded like Ol’ Blahs had sucked on a balloon filled with helium.  It sounded like an imitation of Alvin The Chipmunk or one of the Lollipop Kids in The Wizard of Oz.

I blame the Curse of the Groundhog.

Monday, August 19, 2019

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

Marriage is the IKEA of relationships:  Easy to walk into, confusing to piece together and hard as hell to exit.

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Joe Biden’s Folly

Hoo boy!

Sleepy Joe’s campaign held a “rally” at the Portland Pie Company in Manchester, NH.  Joe wasn’t there.  About 30 people showed up according to a published report from the Eagle-Tribune.

Just down the street President Trump was hosting his rally.

The attendance for the President’s rally at the Southern New Hampshire University Arena was confirmed by the Manchester Deputy Fire Marshall to be 11,500 with another 8,000 waiting outside in the overflow crowd area.

Joe is in “time out” right now because his gaffes have been giving his campaign advisers a bucket-load of heartburn.  By restricting his appearances on the campaign trail, it is hoped they can stave off his propensity for sticking his foot in his mouth and limit the ability of his opponents to capitalize on his blunders.
Hey, it could just as easily have been Burlington Coat Factory. You never know with Sleepy Joe.

The Biden campaign likes to highlight that it permits the national press to cover its fundraisers via pooled coverage. But that may prove a point about his problems with national coverage. The former Vice President has created some of the biggest flaps for his campaign via remarks uttered in these settings.

Someone leaked a story to the New York Times that The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer was concerned the addle-pated Biden was “too old” and “out of touch with the current political climate” suggesting he hire younger staffers more capable of connecting with younger voters.

Biden was “quietly pressured” against running in the 2016 presidential race because Granny was to be coronated Queen of the World;  Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania notwithstanding.

So, now The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer has sternly warned Biden had better not “embarrass himself” or “damage his legacy.” “You don’t have to do this Joe, you really don’t,” he said.

Bless your heart, Barry.  It’s way too late to be concerned about the damage being done to your precious legacy.  The other three trillion Democrats running in 2020 have already torched it during the last two debates with the unforced errors of a befuddled buffoon. 

Friday, August 16, 2019

The Air Has Gone Out Of Beto O’Dork’s Candidacy

Yesterday we saw milquetoast weakling John Hickenloser suspend his bid to become the Democrat nominee for President and if that wasn’t thrilling enough, the day also saw the guy who honestly believes we want to see him get his ear hairs trimmed or listen to the sound of his slobber being sucked into that thingy at the dentist’s office announce his second, yes, his second campaign reboot.

The day before we were treated to what was clearly a staged, if not cringeworthy, attempt at Beto’s Roadside Assistance.
Since he launched his campaign in March, Robert Francis O’Rourke has seen the press corps that followed him around thin out and his poll numbers mired in the single digits.  But this time, yes, this time things are going to be different!  Not only will he change tires faster, he’ll cuss less and try to scare the bejeebers out of you.

In his morning address to a small crowd Beto said, “I’m confident that if, at this moment, we do not wake up to this threat [gun violence] then we as a country will die in our sleep.  To those places where Donald Trump has been terrorizing and terrifying and demeaning our fellow Americans, that’s where you will find me and this campaign.”

So…we won’t find him anywhere?  That’s a bold move, Cotton!

Thursday, August 15, 2019

He Showed His Complete Incompetence On The National Stage

Former Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper (who?) withdrew, via video, from the contest for the Democratic presidential nomination Thursday morning.

“’Hick’ plopped down on some stranger’s porch out in the middle of Iowa with a cameraman in tow and read his prepared statement with all the canned passion we’ve come to expect from him, about all the serious thought he will give to a Senate run,” noted Colorado Peak Politics.

Hickenloser, er, Hickenlooper was never named by likely caucus-goers as their first choice as the Democrat nominee for President.  That’s an insult Jay Inslee and Gov. Steve Bullock managed to avoid.

Even in Colorado, where he is allegedly well-known among Democrats, he received just 7% of the vote in a Public Policy Polling survey.

There was so little grassroots appetite for his candidacy that, four months into his campaign, he had reportedly amassed only 13,000 individual donors. At the time, an anonymous source reported staff informed Hickenlooper his campaign was on pace to run out of money by the end of August.

Democrats are frantic.  Colorado is a must-win for them if they want to take back control of the Senate.  Sixty-one percent of Democrats think Hickenloser has the best chance of unseating Republican Senator Cory Gardner in the general election.

There’s just one teeny, tiny little problem.  Hickenlooper is on record saying he doesn’t want to be a senator and “I don’t think that’s my calling.”  There’s even a video of him declaring, “the Senate doesn’t attract me.  If the Senate’s so good, how come all those senators are trying to get out?”

If the GOP is clever, they’ll take those clips of Ol’ Hick and whip up an attack ad or two to rub his nose in it.

Talk About Open Secrets: Epstein Owned Bill Clinton

The Daily Mail published an exclusive report revealing the twisted relationship between Bill Clinton, his family and notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

Jeffrey Epstein had a bizarre portrait of Bill Clinton in a dress hanging in his Manhattan mansion. The painting was secretly photographed inside Epstein’s lavish $56 million home in October 2012.

The original painting is called “Parsing Bill” and is by Australian-American artist Petrina Ryan-Kleid, although it is unclear if Epstein had bought the canvas or had a print mounted. Ryan-Kleid exhibited for her degree show when she graduated with a Master of Fine Arts degree in 2012 from the New York Academy of Art.

The picture showing Kleid proudly displaying this sick piece of shit is from the website Guest of A Guest.  Reporter Daniel Reynolds wrote, “Last night, the New York Academy of Art opened its doors for the annual Tribeca Ball, a star-studded evening of cocktails, dining and art—six floors of it from over 100-plus emerging New York artists.”

The Academy is considered the premier institution for studying the human figure, so naturally, its students' artwork focused on the body. Nudes were a common sight -- and not just on the canvas. In one room, a naked model held a pose while well-dressed patrons, seemingly unaware, munched on miniature hamburgers.”

Those who have seen the published photograph from the Daily Mail are either titillated by it or are convinced the thing is Photoshopped.  I can assure you it is not.

Here’s a screenshot from Saatchi Art in case, you know, a certain someone orders it be scrubbed from the Internet.

Click image to enlarge

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

GOP Fires Back At One Of CNN’s Most Irritating Anchors

By now you’ve heard about or seen the viral video of CNN’s Chris Cuomo launching a profanity-laden tirade against a man at a bar in New York.  The video was taken down by YouTube™ who later reinstated it admitting it was a mistake to have done so.

Later in the day, as the video kept racking up clicks and showed no signs of relenting, some iPhone owners began asking Siri, Apple’s voice feature, “How old is Chris Cuomo?”  Siri responded, “Fredo Cuomo is 49 years old.”

How hilarious is that?  The virtual assistant was eventually edited to correct the answer.  It is not yet clear how the change was made or who was responsible for the edit.

The comeuppance for this mocktastic ignoramus didn’t stop there.  The Trump-Pence reelection campaign swooped in and made available the “Fredo Unhinged” t-shirt.  They’re available online.

“Help us annoy Chris Cuomo and buy your ‘Fredo Unhinged Tee’ now!”, the ad says.  The tees cost $34.  Trump campaign manager Brad Parscale tweeted, “Selling faster than Fredo’s meltdown!  Thank you #FredoCuomo for filling up our coffers.  You have now directly supported the POTUS!”

Tim Murtaugh, Director of Communications for the Trump campaign, said the t-shirts were a response to “media elites who have different rules for themselves than the ones they try to enforce on President Trump and his supporters.  Cuomo melted down.  It felt like it needed a t-shirt to commemorate the occasion.”

I ordered mine last night.


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