Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Hillary Seen Helping Two Men Climb The Famous “Joker” Stairs In New York City

According to a published report by Gothamist, the stairs connecting Shakespeare and Anderson Avenues in the Highbridge neighborhood of the Bronx has become the most famous set of stairs in New York City thanks to the dance moves made by Joaquin Phoenix in the movie “Joker”.

The stairs have their own Instagram hashtag with over 700 tagged photos and the constant foot traffic has frustrated local residents trying to get to school and work.

Hillary Clinton was put out to pasture after her 2016 coronation failed to materialize.  Her impossible dream was shattered.  Her bitterness reached a crescendo last week when she called fellow Democrat Tulsi Gabbard a “favorite of the Russians.”

There is no outcry for Hillary to run again; Democrats do not reward presidential losers.  After all, she single-handedly botched the Party’s long-held fever dream of completely transforming America into a socialist shithole for generations.

The knowledge that no one is paying her any attention is killing her.  She has oodles of time on her hands and you know what they say about idle hands; they’re the devil’s workshop.

The Gabbard flap backfired so Hillary decided to see if she could gin up some sympathy.  After all, what’s more pathetic than a has-been who famously falls up and falls down stairs and has to be thrown into a van like a side of beef at a 9/11 memorial service?

“I’ll show them,” she thought.  “I’ll go to Highbridge with my minions and climb those damned stairs and prove I’m presidential timber.”  The Joker was there waiting for the inevitable muttering under his breath, “Is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there?”

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEYS:  Hillary won’t dare get within a mile of stairs and she would never go anywhere there are deplorables so, she did not climb the Joker stairs.  The Bronx is just too icky for her.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News.

Canadians Reelect Their First Black Prime Minister

Justin Trudeau has won a second term as Prime Minister with a minority Liberal government.  In a tight race against Conservative Andrew Scheer, Trudeau faced criticism after pictures of him wearing blackface were uncovered. The Prime Minister also faced allegations of unethical behavior by attempting to get his Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould, to drop criminal charges against SNC-Lavalin, a Quebec engineering company.  The bombshell scandal is being investigated by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Pierre Delecto: Noble Republican, My Ass

Utah senator “Mittens” Romney was outted Sunday by Slate for having a now-locked shadow Twitter account allegedly to “promote his failed 2012 campaign” and condemn political moves with which he disagrees.
John Nolte points out it took the writer for Slate “about 14 seconds to discover a sitting United States Senator uses the name Pierre Delecto to run all around Twitter defending” none other than Mitt Romney. 
The story unraveled when McKay Coppins, an activist reporter for The Atlantic, published a lengthy profile on Romney trying to convince readers he is a noble Republican foil to an “out-of-control President.”

The ever-immaculate Romney has become a viral laughingstock; an insecure backstabbing coward nobody. 

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers are being chased by a mad slasher in a horror movie and you’re cheering him on.

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Tennessee Vs Alabama: Smokey Will Don The “Cone Of Shame”

Unranked Tennessee comes to T-Town to face No. 1 Alabama in the first night game to be played under the new lights at Bryant-Denny Stadium. During the off-season the stadium was outfitted with a new synchronized system much like LSU’s Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge.

Tonight’s game, the 102nd meeting, will be Vols Head Coach Jeremy Pruitt’s first trip back to Bryant-Denny since taking the coaching job in December 2017.

The traditional Third Saturday in October hasn’t been competitive for the Rocky Toppers of late.  Bama has a 12-game winning streak that dates back to 2007.  In just the last three meetings the Tide won by a combined 152 to 38.

Will Tennessee start QB Brian Maurer or Jarrett Guarantano tonight?  Apparently, that decision will be made at game time.  Maurer is extremely talented, but there’s a drawback — he’s super error-prone.  Guarantano did a nice job last week against Cowbell U but his shockingly poor performances this season makes me think Maurer starts.

I hope his get-away sticks are strong because Alabama’s defense is devastating at shutting down the deep-passing game and any challenges by Maurer will end badly.

Vols LB Darrell Taylor spouted off this week referring to Tua Tagovailoa as a “decent quarterback”.  So, look for Tua to toss the pumpkin to receivers Jerry Jeudy and Devonta Smith a bunch for a decisive beatdown.


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