Pudgy Nork Despot Shouldn’t Pre-Pay For Any Magazine Subscriptions

The USS Carl Vinson Strike Group 1 has finally arrived off the coast of the Korean Peninsula according to the Japan Times.

An editorial in the North Korean state-run propaganda rag Pyongyang News blustered:

“Shortly ago, the US Air Force based in Japan conducted the first air-refueling to the latest stealth fighter F-35B. The US should not harbor a foolish daydream that it can stifle the DPRK.  That will lead it to doom.”

And today the mouthpiece newspaper boastfully declared:

The army and people of the DPRK are staging an all-out struggle for building a sci-tech power, economic power and highly-civilized nation despite all sorts of sanctions and war drills of the imperialists. 

Neither nuclear threat nor economic sanctions can hold in check the dynamic advance of the army and people of the DPRK who have turned out in their efforts to build an invincible socialist power under the banner of independence and Songun. 

We urge the new US administration to see the strategic position of the DPRK as a nuclear power, face up to the trend of the times and behave with prudence and self-restraint and make a courageous decision to make a switchover in the approach towards the DPRK after drawing a due lesson from the failed DPRK policy of the Obama administration.

The Special Warfare Development Group, best known as SEAL Team 6, is carrying out drills in South Korea.  This is the team responsible for terminating with extreme prejudice al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden in 2011 as part of Operation Neptune Spear.

The 33-year-old pot-bellied dictator with daddy issues thought the report in the Japan Times meant trained seals were in South Korea and was emboldened enough to proclaim, “The U.S. imperialists, engrossed in the hostile policy toward the DPRK century after century, should be mindful that the time of nightmare is coming nearer when they will meet the most disastrous, final doom on the US mainland.”

Nope.  Those are highly trained, lethal Navy SEALS, you nimrod.

With today’s announcement that Air Force Special Operations Command unleashed hell in the form of a 21,000-pound MOAB bomb in Afghanistan packing a mile-wide blast area in all directions must have made the “crazy fat kid” plotz his black pantsuit and no doubt cast a pall on Saturday’s Day of the Sun celebration. 

Talk about pissing in somebody’s cornflakes.

The bomb is equivalent to the power of 1 trillion Obama administration hashtags. https://t.co/r3cJNP6Z0e

— Sam Valley (@SamValley) April 13, 2017

Since you'll ask, yes the President was eating chocolate cake while the bombs were being dropped in Afghanistan

— Sean Spicier (@sean_spicier) April 13, 2017