Our tale begins on a bleak winter
night in a little town in New York State.
As we look inside the closely guarded residence, we find our protagonist
slouching on a sofa watching an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
reeking of boiled cabbage, urine and farts. Friends and associates often encouraged
her to take a shower once in a while, but always to no avail.
On this very night our subject was
visited by Alinsky’s ghost who is forever cursed to wander the earth dragging a
network of heavy chains forged from a lifetime of radical activism, Marxism and
a penchant for the politics of personal destruction.
The war on Christmas had
miraculously been declared over and for reasons known only to him he appears
before his acolyte to give her the opportunity for redemption and a chance to escape
his fate.
The apparition’s appearance was
startling at first transforming into skepticism. Alinksy moans and groans with
impatience. He explains that the chains
he labors to carry were forged by him in life and her chains were more
ponderous because of her greed and lies and selfishness.
Alinsky arranges for three spirits
to visit her: the ghosts of elections
past, present and future.
At the stroke of midnight the Ghost
of Elections Past recounted her failure to break some fictitious glass ceiling,
her 19 political scandals and standing by her man when he was impeached.
At the stroke of one there appeared
another visitor, the Ghost of Elections Present. This spirit took poor Hillary by the hand
pointing to the depth of her weaknesses as a candidate, her lying and
corruption. He mocked her declaring, “You lost yet again. This is getting embarrassing.”
Poor Hillary was devastated to hear
how unfit to be president she really was, but the torment did not end there for
at the stroke of two there appeared a horrifying ghost, the Ghost of Elections
Future.
Draped in black from head to toe,
the ghost foretold of a life without campaigns, campaign
donations and hangers-on from Hollywood to the Hamptons. Hillary began sobbing violently.
Hillary awoke the next morning
changed by the visitations during the night.
She decided to write a book for Dummies and titled it How To Lose Bigly to Trump and promised
to go off into the sunset never again to call those who did not support her as
a basket of deplorables. The newly
reborn Hillary would shed her grumpy “Bah Trumps” and never seek public office
again.
And the people were filled with
extraordinary optimism. God bless us,
every one!
The End?
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