Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Dear Diary: I Took A Nut Shot From The President

In the Rose Garden yesterday, President Trump announced the United States has tested one million people for COVID-19 and unveiled a new rapid test kit manufactured by Abbott Laboratories which delivers a negative result in 13 minutes when the virus is not detected.

Also during the Coronavirus Task Force press conference, he announced Ford Motor Company is repurposing an auto parts factory west of Detroit to start building simple ventilators to treat patients diagnosed with the virus.

CNN was allowed admittance to the presser.  It was towards the end of the briefing the President called on Jim Acosta.  “Go ahead, let’s give it a shot,” he said.

The arrogant sumbitch mentioned a number of statements the President had made about the virus in recent weeks before asking, “What do you say to Americans who believe that you got this wrong?”

"If you look at those individual statements, they are all true. 'Stay calm. It will go away.' You know, it is going away. And it will go away, and we're going to have a great victory,'" the President said. "It’s people like you and CNN that say things like that. It’s why people just don’t want to listen to CNN anymore."

"I don't want panic in the country. I could cause panic much better than even you," he said. "I would make you look like a minor league player, but you know what? I don't want to do that. I want to have our country be calm. Instead of asking a nasty, snarky question like that, you should ask a real question."

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