Monday, September 9, 2013

To Be Discussed In War Colleges For Centuries To Come: The Cheerios Doctrine

I’ve been trying to recuperate from yet another bout of chronic bronchitis over the weekend.  This morning as I trolled Tweet Deck, the tweets were coming hot and heavy over Secretary of State John Kerry’s statement following his meeting with British Foreign Secretary William Hague in London.
“We will be able to hold Bashar al-Assad accountable without engaging troops on the ground or any other prolonged kind of effort, in a very limited, very targeted, very short-term effort that degrades his capacity to deliver chemical weapons without assuming responsibility for Syria’s civil war. That is exactly what we are talking about doing; an unbelievably small, limited kind of effort.”
Wait.  What?

Shortly afterward, Stephen F. Hayes tweeted the USA Today story recounting how a senior official familiar with this feckless administration’s recent strike planning offered a metaphor to describe a strike against Syria:
“If Assad is eating Cheerios, we're going to take away his spoon and give him a fork. Will that degrade his ability to eat Cheerios? Yes. Will it deter him? Maybe. But he'll still be able to eat Cheerios.”
I wish that General George S. Patton were still alive just so he could amble over to that numbnut and bitch-slap his ass.

A Cheerios Doctrine?  Is this the best that the mightiest nation in history can come up with?  This is unambiguous evidence of the out-and-out demise of strategic military thinking in this country.

No longer does this administration even pretend that Assad will be deterred, which is presumably the whole point of U.S. military action.  Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. 
And tomorrow night as The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer speaks to the nation pleading mightily that we must strike a match to his “red line” fart and save his ass, we will undoubtedly hear him utter these immortal words:
Ladies and Gentlemen, 
I’m speaking to you tonight from the Oval Office where, let me be clear, what I am about to say is one of the most insanely idiotic things you will ever hear.  At no point in my rambling, incoherent diatribe could anything that I say be considered a rational thought. 
No matter where you are as you listen to my soaring rhetoric accompanied by a god-like echo, everyone in that room will be dumber for having listened to it. 
I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. 
UPDATE:  Linked by Predictable History, Unpredictable Past 

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