It’s A Bird…It’s A Plane…It’s Stelterman

It took nearly the entire 28th season to give Sean Spicer the boot from Dancing With The Stars.

With his regular partner Lindsay Arnold still out, Spicer stepped it up with his fill-in partner Jenna Johnson. He showed surprising fluidity, a lime green suit and some complex holds in his Argentine Tango to Destiny's Child "Bills, Bills, Bills”.

Bruno Tonioli, an Italian choreographer and judge on DWTS, said of Spicer’s routine, “Don’t cry for Sean, Argentina” adding it was “more an Argentine straggle.”  Tonioli was gracious in the end thanking Spicer for “being such a good sport.”

After Spicer was eliminated, he graciously said, "I wish I could have done better.  Thanks to everyone who supported me.  Thanks to my family for everything they did.  I’ve loved being on this show.  Thank you for making me a part of it.  God bless you all.  Happy Veterans Day.”

CNN’s pudgy Brian Stelter, apparently green with envy, tweeted: 

After Spicer was voted off "Dancing," @realDonaldTrump deleted his 8:33pm tweet urging people to "vote for Sean." Trump had written, "He is a great and very loyal guy who is working very hard." Now he's posted a new message: "A great try by @seanspicer. We are all proud of you!"

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) November 12, 2019

Maybe the folks at ABC will cast him for next season’s show since he has officially tweeted more about the show than about ABC and CBS colluding to fire a female employee for exposing a high-profile rapist and pedophile.

Monday Night’s Alright For Owning The Libs

Time flies when you’re having fun.  For eight weeks now, former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has danced his way into the hearts of everyone who lacks rhythm and moves.

In late August, Tom Bergeron, the longtime host of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars, expressed his disappointment with the network’s decision to have Spicer on the show.  Bergeron tweeted he had hoped the 28th season “would be a joyful respite from our exhausting political climate and free of inevitably divisive bookings from any party affiliations.”

Nothing has surprised viewers more than Spicer’s ability to avoid elimination week after week.  The guy gets super-low scores, but the audience always saves him.  The failing New York Times noted, “He’s as stiff and two-dimensional as a sheet of cardboard with feet that move as if stuck in slabs of cement.”

Those watching DWTS are allowed to cast 20 votes:  10 votes by texting SEAN to 21523 and then 10 more times at abc.com/DWTS.  Even President Trump encouraged audience participation tweeting, “The meltdown the Hollywood types keep having when he wins with your votes is soooo worth the time.”

Carrie Ann SPILLING the TEA. #DWTS pic.twitter.com/THHnjRKRnw

— bruNNa 💚 (@vocallyist) November 5, 2019

Announcing A New White House Communications Director?

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer started the week beleaguered by rumors he was about to be demoted or fired. He ended it “almost speechless, incapable or unwilling to answer even the most basic questions” about the Trump Administration's policies according to CNN’s editor-at-large Chris Cillizza.

Spicer's clipped answers came on the heels of reports the president is increasingly unhappy with how his press shop has operated, and in the same week that Spicer said he would refer all questions about Russia's meddling in the election to Trump's outside counsel.

Spicer had to remind reporters of that answer on Friday, after he was asked to clarify conversations between Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner and a Russian banker in December. "Going forward, all questions on these matters will be referred to outside counsel," he said.

At one point during the briefing, a reporter complained the press secretary wasn't answering questions.

"I don't know where you guys are in finding spokespeople or people who want to respond to those," the reporter said. "That would be helpful."

Mike Dubke, President Trump’s Communications Director is leaving the White House.  He tendered his resignation on May 18.  His last day on the job hasn’t been set but will likely remain until a replacement can be found.

Mr. Met, mascot for the New York Mets, has accepted an offer to take over as White House Communications Director following a rather nasty incident involving a gesture with a middle finger. 

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEYS:   The Mets organization is dealing internally with this matter.  Professionally speaking however, Mr. Met’s “middle” finger and Spicey’s combative attitude are just what this country needs in the age of Trump Derangement Syndrome.  He has the balls.  Much to our chagrin, no such arrangement is in the works.

IDEA: T-shirt launcher Thursday.

— Mazter Paul (@MazurekPaul) June 1, 2017

If Comey Had Thrown The Election To Hillary We’d Be In The Middle of Her Impeachment Trial Right Now

All last week President Trump worked to bolster his White House staff’s morale in the wake of raging denigration over his firing of FBI Director James Comey.

Democrats want Trump impeached.  Can we be honest here?  Trump is an equal opportunity wrecking ball.  Don Surber noted in his book Trump The Establishment, “He destroyed the political parties.  Both were stuck in the past.  Democrats in the 1960s and Republicans in the 1990s.”  If Trump had come out in favor of Obamacare, the Democrats would move to impeach him for colluding with Blue Cross Blue Shield.

I was deeply angered back in July of 2016 when Comey announced, “Although there is evidence of potential violations of the statutes regarding the handling of classified information (in Hillary’s use of a personal email system), our judgment is that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case. Prosecutors necessarily weigh a number of factors before bringing charges. There are obvious considerations, like the strength of the evidence, especially regarding intent. Responsible decisions also consider the context of a person’s actions, and how similar situations have been handled in the past.”

Comey deserved to be fired. The manner in which he was fired was, in a word, dirty.

The New York Times, Associated Press, CNN and The Wall Street Journal are predicting a “shake-up” in the White House communications team is looming.  The “shake-up” could take out everyone from Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon to White House Counsel Don McGahn and “Spicey”.

I said all that to say this:  the sleazy snipers in the press do not take kindly to the bluntness with which the Trump Administration scolds them for their blatant attacks and bias in their reporting.

Admittedly, “Spicey” hiding in the White House bushes after the Comey firing made him the target of Internet memes including a skit on SNL.

Spicey among the bushes. #SNLLiveCoastToCoast pic.twitter.com/gn5MxwuIW9

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) May 14, 2017

The Interwebs are rife with speculation Fox News' Kimberly Guilfoyle is once again on a list of possible replacements as WH Press Secretary.

If Trump does, in fact, boot Spicer what will become of the most hilarious parody Twitter account “Sean Spicier”?  The account has fooled Yahoo Style, Univision News, Bill Kristol, Gateway Pundit and Biz Pac Review.

I guess Sean Spicier will become Kimberly Guilfoiled.  The upside:  it’ll put Melissa McCarthy out of a job. 

Spicey Poetry

During Monday’s White House Easter Egg Roll, several senior White House aides joined in on the holiday fun.  Among them was White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer who read to a group of children on the South Lawn.

After the media had finished snapping photos of Spicey reading “How to Catch the Easter Bunny” by Australian children’s writer Adam Wallace, he quickly switched books and entertained the crowd with some spicey poetry to mock the new book Shattered: Inside Hillary Clinton’s Doomed Campaign in bookstores today.

“Shattered” creates a picture of a shockingly inept campaign hobbled by hubris and unforced errors, and haunted by a sense of self-pity and doom, summed up in one Clinton aide’s mantra throughout the campaign: ‘We’re not allowed to have nice things.’”

One lefty blog I read astonishingly declared, “Donald Trump is now looking like he is at risk of turning out to be one of the worst presidents in our history. Hillary Clinton, with her poor judgment and the blind support of many Democrats who ignore her mistakes and corruption, very well could have done even more harm to the country.”

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  Mr. Spicer did not have a copy of the Jonathan Allen and Arnie Parnes book.  Who the hell would?

@BecketAdams @alweaver22 I knew it! Jonathan Allen and Amie Parnes are Russian spies!

— Ree Fungorio (@ReeFungorio) April 18, 2017

Great Moments In Mean Tweets

Hey @SenTedCruz, if you need help preparing for your #Obamacare debate tonight with @SenSanders, you can borrow this book. #CNNDebateNight pic.twitter.com/hJgC3kNfHW

— Mike Lee (@SenMikeLee) February 7, 2017

The 30-year-old Casey Anthony—once described as “one of the most hated women in America”—who was famously acquitted in 2011 of the murder of her 2-year-old daughter Caylee, joined a protest against President Trump at Mar-A-Lago club in Palm Beach.

Via Observer.com—Since Hillary Clinton’s presidential election loss, rumors have circulated that speculate about what she will do next. In trying to predict Clinton’s future—from running for mayor of New York City to hosting her own TV show—the idea has also been advanced that her daughter, Chelsea Clinton, may enter politics herself. Though being the progeny of the widely-disliked Bill and Hillary should disqualify Chelsea, the Democratic Party’s cultist obsession with her family’s access to a vast network of wealthy donors leaves any congressional race of her choosing open to Chelsea if she wants to run.

[SKIP]

Chelsea Clinton’s potential emergence into politics opens the door for Democratic opposition to continue citing the litany of scandals and disastrous policies championed by the Clintons. The only good to come out of this would be for Chelsea Clinton to lose a congressional race, thereby re-teaching a lesson the Democratic establishment has continuously failed to learn.

To The Dishonest Press: BOOMITY!

FULL: @seanspicer: "We're going to hold the press accountable." pic.twitter.com/nK51t16Kpf

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 21, 2017

This is the opening salvo in a battle between the WH press office and the press. Root for casualties. https://t.co/DNHpJI4dfW

— Gabriel Malor (@gabrielmalor) January 22, 2017

Sean Spicer Named as Trump's Press Secretary

...and it always takes me a second before I realize they didn't say "Shawn Spencer"!