Senator Who “Wore” Diaper Considers 2020 Run Against President Trump

Most, if not all of us, remember the bizarre Minnesota senatorial race in 2008 between incumbent Norm Coleman (R-MN) and former Saturday Night Live “star” Al Franken.

It was impossibly close; on the morning after the election, after 2.9 million people had voted, Coleman led Franken by 725 votes.

Franken and his Democrat allies dispatched an army of lawyers to challenge the results. After the first canvass, Coleman's lead was down to 206 votes. 

During the controversy, a conservative group called Minnesota Majority began to investigate claims of voter fraud. Comparing criminal records with voting rolls, the group identified 1,099 felons─all ineligible to vote─who had voted in the Franken-Coleman race.

After months of wrangling and litigation, Franken was declared the winner by 312 votes. He was sworn into office in July 2009, eight months after the election.  Franken was elected on the strength of voter fraud.

During the campaign, Republicans sought to keep Coleman’s seat in the Senate and unearthed a racy Playboy article, “Porn-O-Rama”, published in 2000.  The RNC also called attention to a 1995 skit on SNL where Franken joked about raping CBS journalist Lesley Stahl.

Franken: “And, I give the pills to Lesley Stahl. Then, when Lesley's passed out, I take her to the closet and rape her. That's why you never see Lesley until February. When she passes out, I put her in various positions and take pictures of her."

Senator Yuk-Yuk was forced to distance himself from his crass and profane comedy routines when he accepted his party’s endorsement in 2008:

“For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that. And I understand that the people of Minnesota deserve a senator who won’t say things that will make you feel uncomfortable.” 

To get and stay elected, he had to suppress his sense of humor and project an air of utmost seriousness. The people of Minnesota, after all, were not interested in being represented in Washington by a clown—a truth revealed to the candidate in multiple focus groups with Minnesota voters.

In his new memoir, “Al Franken, Giant of the Senate”, Franken admits the truth: His inner clown never went away. It just got suppressed, forcibly and with great effort. He became a giant phony.

There’s an old axiom that says every senator wakes up humming “Hail to the Chief”.  That axiom now includes just about any Democrat who isn’t a convicted felon.  Enter Senator Al “Yuk-Yuk” Franken.  According to The Hill, political associates say they think he could be talked into running for president if he believes he’s the best positioned to defeat President Trump.

As much as Franken and his army of toadies would like to scrub the Internet of that photo of him donning a pair of bunny ears wearing a diaper or a video of him holding two traffic cones suggestively, the Minnesota senator has never failed to beclown himself.

While the aforementioned tasteless antics are years old, the antic that conclusively proves his tenure in the Senate has been a colossal farce was the Neil Gorsuch confirmation hearing.

NOTE:  Franken serves on the Senate Judiciary Committee.  He has not one scintilla of knowledge about the law.  He neither attended law school nor practiced law.

Franken grilled Gorsuch about the case of the freezing truck driver who had been fired after he had driven away from his broken trailer after waiting several hours for help. 

"Don't you think it was absurd that this man was fired?" Franken asked.

"My heart goes out to him," Gorsuch said.

“But the plain meaning rule has an exception. When using the plain meaning rule would create an absurd result, courts should depart from the plain meaning. It is absurd to say this company is in its rights to fire him because he made the choice of possibly dying from freezing to death or causing other people to die possibly by driving an unsafe vehicle. That’s absurd.  Now, I had a career in identifying absurdity,” Franken said.

GORSUCH: Senator, a couple of things in response to that, if I might. Going back, the absurdity doctrine argument was never presented to the court. And it usually applies in cases where there is a scrivener's error, not where we just disagree with the policy of the statute.  So, I’d appreciate the opportunity to respond there.

FRANKEN: When there’s a scribner there?

GORSUCH: Scrivener’s error.

FRANKEN: Error. Okay. I’m sorry.

GORSUCH: Not when we just disagree with the policy.  With respect to…

FRANKEN: Well, if I read my statutory interpretation from─let's see. This is from the Notre Dame Law School National Institute for Trial Advocacy. This is a pretty well-known exception to the plain meaning rule.

GORSUCH: Oh, yeah.

FRANKEN: And I think you can apply it without it. I mean don't you think it is absurd that this man was put─given that choice and then fired for it? Don't you think that was absurd?

GORSUCH: Senator, my heart goes out to him.

FRANKEN: Okay, never mind.

Al Franken Is Nervous About Trump

Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) said early Sunday that he is "nervous" about the presidential race two days before Election Day.

"A lot of Democrats out there are nervous. Are you among them?" Jake Tapper asked the senator on CNN's State of the Union.

"Oh, sure. I'm always nervous. I was nervous in '12. I was nervous in '08 — for good reason," Franken replied.

He and other Hillary sycophants have besodden themselves after hearing Trump was visiting Minneapolis-St. Paul today and Pence would be in Duluth on Monday.

The quick visit puts Trump’s face behind his claim that he can win Minnesota, which last voted for a Republican presidential candidate in 1972, along with other traditionally Democratic states. The visit also gives Trump access to the crucial voters of western Wisconsin, a swing state in nearly every poll.

Minnesota polling has shown Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton with a lead in the single digits, but Minnesota Republican Party Chairman Keith Downey said the election has been moving in Republicans’ direction both here and nationwide.

He added that when he goes to canvassing centers, he tells volunteers: "Many of you have jobs. Many of you have families. Ignore them. Get on the doors."

This is virtually the same thing he said in July at the Democratic National Convention, “Many of you have jobs. Many of you have families. Ignore them. Let me tell you something: kids love it when their parents aren't home. And let me tell you something else. An 8-year-old knows how to use a microwave. And let me tell you something else. An 8-year-old can teach a 4-year-old how to use a microwave. That's just scientific fact. They'll be fine. You have work to do. Get on those phones. Knock on those doors. And tell 'em Al Franken sent you.”

Franken, an alleged comedian, gained notoriety for his role as Stuart Smalley; an effeminate man with a perfectly coiffed bleached-blonde hairdo wearing a powder blue cardigan sweater on Saturday Night Live during the 1990s.  Of course he’s nervous about Tuesday’s presidential election.  After all, he’s only in the Senate because of voter shenanigans at the ballot box involving Lizard People.

NOTE:  I have updated his Smalley character for this post.

Sen. Al Franken isn't sure if Clinton can hold onto blue states https://t.co/rXCmjAcmhs pic.twitter.com/AfUOhYQ0w9

— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) November 6, 2016

@dcexaminer cause "gosh darn it, people hate her."

— PolitiSay (@ThePolitiSay) November 6, 2016

Behold Your Idiot Minnesota

Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party (DFL) Chairman Ken Martin was forced to issue a statement following a despicable tweet from Dan Kimmel who was challenging Republican incumbent Drew Christensen of Burnsville, MN in the 2016 election. 

Martin’s statement:

“Earlier tonight a candidate for the Minnesota House made comments that do not reflect the views of the Minnesota DFL and have no place in our party. On behalf of the Minnesota DFL, I strongly condemn his comments. I ask Dan Kimmel to apologize to all the families who have been torn apart by the terrorist organization and their senseless violence. In this time of enormous grief, we shouldn’t be making excuses for this barbaric behavior.”

At his website, Kimmel addressed the maelstrom:

My tweet last evening was in response to a statement made during the candidate debates, not in response to the activities in Paris. It was poorly worded and did not convey my intent. 

I do think the attacks in Paris yesterday, along with other ISIS terrorist actions, are cowardly and despicable. My heart breaks for the people of France, of Paris, the families of those wounded or killed and the casualties themselves. My thoughts are with them. I condemn the attacks, as I condemn all violence. 

I am folding up my campaign tent. The campaign website and Facebook page will be down by this afternoon. 

I apologize to the volunteers and contributors who have put so much time, effort and money into my campaign. 

I am very sorry for “spreading ick” on other candidates and the DFL party. I will do everything I can to help resolve the issue: most likely the best thing for me to do is shut up. The tweet was stupid. I’m sorry.

 Here’s the idiot with fellow traveler and champion of the Lizard People, Al Franken

.@greggutfeld I'm surprised, he was polling great with the Minnesota ISIS community

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 15, 2015

Al Franken, Lizard People And The 2014 Midterms

On Monday, August 4, 2014 the U.S. Chamber of Commerce will announce its endorsement of GOP businessman Mike McFadden in the Minnesota Senate race.

The race is emerging as potentially competitive, despite receiving less attention than other battleground contests. This week, University of Virginia political analyst Larry Sabato moved the Franken race into the "Leans Democratic" category, calling it a potential sleeper contest.  Unlike other targeted Democratic senators in 2014, Franken has maintained a solidly liberal voting record, rarely breaking with President Obama on high-profile issues. 

Sabato notes that six years ago, Franken won by the barest of margins (312 votes) against incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman (R) only after a lengthy recount process.  The process was derailed when it was discovered that Lucas Davenport had sullied the voting process by casting a write-in vote for Lizard People.

In an interview with MPR News Davenport said, "I don't know if you've heard the conspiracy theory about the Lizard Men.  A friend of mine, we didn't like the candidates, so we were at first going to write in “revolution”, because we thought that was good and to the point. And then, we thought the Lizard People would be even funnier, and there was kind of a running inside gag between some friends and I."

“Lizard People” refers to the conspiracy theory that there's a race of shape shifting lizards masquerading as humans who rule the world, but Davenport doesn't consider himself a believer.

McFadden still faces an Aug. 12 primary opponent in GOP state Rep. Jim Abeler.  McFadden talks about “unshackling the energy industry” by voting for the Keystone Pipeline and permitting the fast-tracking of 24 LNG plants.  He also favors limiting the stifling effects of government regulation.

He advocates “abolishing the Affordable Care Act and replacing it with a market-based system that provides coverage for those with pre-existing conditions. On immigration, he says he would first secure the borders and then implement a multistep path to citizenship. He says he will oppose any effort to change Social Security and Medicare benefits for those at or near retirement.”

Dear Minnesotans, in 1998 you elected a pro wrestler your governor.  In 2008 you elected Stuart Smalley your senator.  Howze about ya take 2014 seriously?

UPDATE:  A big ‘ol “Thank You” to Diogenes’ Middle Finger for linking to this post.