Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Democratic Debate In Phoenix To Be Sponsored By Life Alert®

After a night when the delegate math swung decisively against him, it is not clear whether Comrade Bernie still intends to fight a long primary battle against Uncle Joe as he did against Cankles in 2016.
Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC) said if Sanders failed to win any of the six primary contests on Tuesday, the Democratic National Committee should step in and end the primaries and any additional debates.

“I think when the night is over, Joe Biden will be the prohibitive favorite to win the Democratic nomination, and quite frankly, if the night ends the way it has begun, I think it is time for us to shut this primary down, it is time for us to cancel the rest of these debates — because you don’t do anything but get yourself in trouble if you continue in this contest when it’s obvious that the numbers will not shake out for you,” Clyburn said on NPR.

James Carville, the guy who’s uglier than a mud fence, agreed with Clyburn saying, “Let’s shut this puppy down.”
Two days before Arizona’s Primary, the two crabby old guys are scheduled to debate at the Arizona Federal Theatre.  There will be no audience, no spin room and no press filing center.  They will be seated for the first time in a debate.  Bernie’s campaign wonders why O’Bidenbama’s campaign asked for the change in format.  They seem to be joining in on the stepped up criticisms of his physical fitness and mental acuity, cringeworthy lapses on the stump and pitifully painful debate performances.

While previous debates have featured the candidates standing on stage at lecterns fielding questions from moderators, Sunday’s debate will feature the candidates sitting in comfy chairs between two ferns reminiscing about the good ol’ days when Castro was making literacy great again and Joe recalls some “mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy” whose name he can’t remember.

Having them seated for this debate is just begging for trouble.  Those lapel microphones can pick up the sound of a rat pissing on cotton.  Bernie is a commie gasbag and will be cutting the cheese like it’s a free-fire zone.  And Joe, well, his brains are in his ass.  Being seated will only suffocate it.

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