Monday, May 7, 2018

About That Strange Hump On Granny Clinton’s Back

Hillary Clinton has been spotted on multiple occasions lately wearing long jackets with scarves that cover her neck and drape down over her back.  She was spotted last week in New York City while visiting her daughter Chelsea at her apartment.

Her attire seemed peculiar since the temperature outside was 80ºF.  Look closely.  She’s trying to hide something.  She looks like Quasimodo, the bell-ringing hunchback of Notre Dame.

Apparently DARPA, the agency responsible for some of the world’s most significant scientific and technological breakthroughs has been behind the scenes at the Clinton Compound in Chappaqua rebuilding Granny.

In addition to the exoskeleton pictured above, they’ve cobbled together a chardonnay chugger (don’t want to spill a single drop of the nectar of the gods) and the RoboHillary Stabilizer to avoid embarrassing face-plants at 9/11 memorials.

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  Even though Crooked Hillary has bazillions of dollars to spend for bionic parts, DARPA did not create any of the contraptions pictured in this post.

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