Hole-y mole-y. Some dude no one’s ever heard of, @ericgarland, made sure the world
found out he was a complete dumbass.
Eric is
super-proud of himself. On his website
he boasts, “For two decades, Eric Garland has been providing industry
forecasts, predictions, and competitive insights to corporations and government
agencies around the world. Eric is sought after as an advisor to leaders, an
educator in the field of intelligence analysis, a keynote speaker, and a
featured commentator for media around the world.
I can't believe people are actually falling for the gorilla channel thing pic.twitter.com/XuBeSXMmBC— Will Sommer (@willsommer) January 5, 2018
It all started when
another Twitter account (@pixeledboat)
created an “extract”
from Michael Wolff’s hot off the presses book torching the Trump White House.
“On his first night in the White House, President Trump
complained that the TV in his bedroom was broken, because it didn’t have “the
gorilla channel”. Trump seemed to be
under the impression that a TV channel existed that screened nothing but
gorilla-based content 24-hours a day.”
“To appease Trump, White House staff compiled a number of
gorilla documentaries into a makeshift channel, broadcast into Trump’s bedroom
from a hastily constructed transmission tower on the South Lawn. However, Trump was unhappy with the channel
they had created, moaning that it was “boring” because “the gorillas aren’t
fighting.”
“Staff edited out all of the parts of documentaries where
gorillas weren’t hitting each other, and at last the President was
satisfied. “On some days he’ll watch the
gorilla channel for 17 hours straight,” and insider told me. “He kneels in front of the TV, with his face
about four inches from the screen, and says encouraging things to the gorillas,
like ‘the way you hit that other gorilla was good’. I think he thinks the gorillas can hear him.”
After some 45 minutes
had passed, our boy deleted his ignoramus tweet.
Funny right? It gets better. A little later in the day, Farhad Manjoo a columnist for The New York
Times, decided to beclown himself.
I’m sorry I have a question— Farhad Manjoo (feat. Drake) (@fmanjoo) January 5, 2018
Is the gorilla channel thing real or fake?
I thought it was clearly fake but people are talking as if it’s real and I don’t know who’s mistaken.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about don’t look it up because it might be fake.
Then our Einstein decided
to get all preachy on us:
Don’t tweet screenshots of fake text (of book excerpts, court transcripts, etc) even as a joke.— Farhad Manjoo (feat. Drake) (@fmanjoo) January 5, 2018
You’re making things worse.
The jokes just don’t work in a partisan-echo-chamber-feed world where everything is divorced from context and authorship.
Also they’re not funny
Funny? I’ll say it’s funny.
It was very funny and it’s even funnier now that you and the likes of Eric Garland fell for it— Zach (@BarroldBonds) January 5, 2018
In about five days, someone's going to start the Gorilla Channel for real.— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 5, 2018
In JUMANJI 2, The Rock and Kevin Hart are transported inside The Gorilla Channel.— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 5, 2018
UPDATE: Check out these Gorilla
Channel Shows.
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