The
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
of the Russian Federation
of the Russian Federation
Kremlin,
Moscow, Russia
Mr. Chuck Todd,
Political Director NBC News
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
Dear Comrade,
As purveyor of your Kapitalist
ideology, Ayn Rand once noted, “The uncontested absurdities of today are the
accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by
precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure
on one side and constant retreat on the other—until the day when they are
suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology.”
We at the Kremlin
were intrigued by your interview with Reince Priebus this morning.
The Washington Free Beacon uploaded a video
on YouTube™ documenting your President World’s Most Dangerous Community
Organizer publicly pleading lying 36 times promising if Americans liked
their doctor they could keep their doctor.
If they liked their healthcare plan they could keep their healthcare
plan.
Two years ago your panty-waist
leader, in an interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly during your Super Bowl, tried
to put behind him the scandals that hung over his second term suggesting his
administration did not mislead the public on the Benghazi attack and astonishingly
went so far as to say the IRS targeting scandal had “not even a smidgen of
corruption.”
Your former Secretary
of State, Hillary Clinton, blamed an “awful internet video” for the deaths of
four Americans in the terror attack in Benghazi just three days after the
assault on the compound that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith,
Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty.
Comrade, only two of
your intelligence entities—the Office of the Director of National Intelligence
(DNI) and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)—have weighed in on this
issue, not 17 intelligence agencies [as Bolshevik Hillary had claimed]. And
what they said was ambiguous about our government’s involvement in the election
where your goddess failed to ascend to the presidency.
We are having great difficulty
understanding why you doubt the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian
Federation when we vehemently deny hacking accusations or “rigging” the
election in favor of President-elect Donald J. Trump. Perhaps we have underestimated your Ministry
of Propaganda.
As our esteemed
President, Vladimir Putin once noted, “Those who fight corruption should be
clean themselves.” Perhaps you should
consider sending your résumé to RT (Russian Television). Kulaks would rejoice and Comrade Schultz
would be glad for the company. He often
complains of the bitter cold in our gulags.
Best regards,
Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov
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