Sunday, December 11, 2016

Fake News Alert: Chuck Todd’s Russian Hacking Rant

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs 
of the Russian Federation
Kremlin, Moscow, Russia

Mr. Chuck Todd, Political Director NBC News
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112

Dear Comrade,

As purveyor of your Kapitalist ideology, Ayn Rand once noted, “The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other—until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology.”

We at the Kremlin were intrigued by your interview with Reince Priebus this morning.

The Washington Free Beacon uploaded a video on YouTube™ documenting your President World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer publicly pleading lying 36 times promising if Americans liked their doctor they could keep their doctor.  If they liked their healthcare plan they could keep their healthcare plan.

Two years ago your panty-waist leader, in an interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly during your Super Bowl, tried to put behind him the scandals that hung over his second term suggesting his administration did not mislead the public on the Benghazi attack and astonishingly went so far as to say the IRS targeting scandal had “not even a smidgen of corruption.”

Your former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, blamed an “awful internet video” for the deaths of four Americans in the terror attack in Benghazi just three days after the assault on the compound that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty.

Comrade, only two of your intelligence entities—the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (DNI) and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)—have weighed in on this issue, not 17 intelligence agencies [as Bolshevik Hillary had claimed]. And what they said was ambiguous about our government’s involvement in the election where your goddess failed to ascend to the presidency.

We are having great difficulty understanding why you doubt the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation when we vehemently deny hacking accusations or “rigging” the election in favor of President-elect Donald J. Trump.  Perhaps we have underestimated your Ministry of Propaganda.
As our esteemed President, Vladimir Putin once noted, “Those who fight corruption should be clean themselves.”  Perhaps you should consider sending your résumé to RT (Russian Television).  Kulaks would rejoice and Comrade Schultz would be glad for the company.  He often complains of the bitter cold in our gulags.

Best regards,

Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  Neither the image of the letter to Chuck Todd nor the text of the letter shown in this post is an actual letter.  It is political satire.  The links to the videos however are authentic.

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