Friday, December 18, 2015

Turn Out the Lights, The Party's Over!

Christmas is a comin' and the geese are getting fat...why Curmudgeon and Grunt want me to keep calling them that is beyond me. Something about how, after they'd split a bowl of spiked punch between them, they kept cracking up every time they said the word "gaggle".  

Party's over. The girls have gone home. The band is packing up. I wanted Mannheim Steamroller, but Grunt and Big C insisted on 5 Seconds of Summer, but trust me, it was longer than five seconds! Grunt is sleeping it off in the bathtub. The close proximity to the rest of the porcelain is literally no accident. He should be coming back around soon. 

Curmudgeon is maintaining the fiction that she went to the movies today. She tried to post a live update from the party earlier, but couldn't get past "gaggle". 

Gifts were exchanged. I gave Curmudgeon a ceramic pot I found on her front porch. She gave me a twenty she found in my wallet. Grunt used to be an electrician, so he gave the Hooter's girl shorts. 

Several squirrels crashed the party. Literally. Curmudgeon knows a good glazier who works weekends. A little plywood should hold 'til then. 

We taught Grunt the true meaning of "Don we now our gay apparel". Once he lost the feather boa, he was quite the metrosexual! 

A good time was had by all. The only question on the lips of all the party goers was, "Do it again for New Year's??"

UPDATED BY CURMUDGEON:  Proof’s claim that my going to see Star Wars The Force Awakens this morning was a ruse is simply not true.  I think he is jealous that I am retired and can go see a movie on a weekday in the AM.  Oh, and don’t believe him when he says he wanted the background music for the party to be Mannheim Steamroller and that Grunt and I chose some other genre of music.  There was plenty of Steamroller tuneage.

Grunt is still in the tub sleeping off his bender.  I know because it sounds like a buzz saw in there.  Geez this guy can snore.  If I’m missing any bath towels I’m pretty sure it’ll be because he sucked ‘em in while he snored.  Gruntessa, his wife, is thinking about glitter-bombing him.

Below is a photograph I took when I arrived at Casa de Curmudgeon after the movie this morning.  Notice the glass of scotch in Proof’s hand.  Mr. Peanut was there minus the nutcracker that cracked his shell when he bit him at last year’s party.  That’s Grunt in the center and beside him is Daniel Craig who had a cameo role as a Stormtrooper in The Force Awakens.  There on the end is the Hooter’s girl who heard that Grunt and Proof wanted to meet her.  Those wings…well, they were gone in a matter of seconds.  Grunt snarfed them down bones and all.  What a little caveman pig he is.

Party-goers Diogenes, Adrienne, Mr. and Mrs. Woodsterman and Earl celebrated with us because we’re all one big happy blogger family and just love Christmas.

A good time was had by all and the Elf on the Shelf has much to report to Santa Claus.


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