My day got off to a good start yesterday. In the South the holy day is Saturday because of college football. I was pumped when LSU trounced Auburn and the Dawgs of Georgia mauled the Gamecocks. (Take that Steve Spurrier!) I quickly became #SadAlabamaFan when the Ole Miss Rebels caused tears in Tuscaloosa and the Tide tumbled.
I have been nursing my bruised ego in the aftermath of their ignominious thrashing.
Just when I thought I could no longer derive any meaning from life the Panthers beat the Houston Texans and Proof’s beloved Niners ate dirt in their humiliating loss to the Steelers.
I went out for a while and when I came back I found things had gotten out of hand. I found my little furkid, Sophie, had invited Bully inside to watch some YouTube™ videos of last year’s NFC Championship Game in which the Seattle Seahawks defeated my beloved Green Bay Packers.
I didn’t mind that so much but when I discovered she had also let Nibbler J. Puffcheeks join them in the TV room to swill beer I got upset.
You try to raise your pets the right way. Sometimes they go a little astray. You see, ‘ol Puffcheeks was arrested on a B&E last November by the Curmudgeon PD. That character is bad business.
I took a broom to the fuzzy-tailed bastard and sent Sophie to her doggie bed without supper.
I’m letting Bully stay to watch tonight’s game against Seattle because he’s already donning his Packers jersey and cheesehead hat. Hopefully, my boys can rock Lambeau Field and dish out some sweet revenge.