Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Go Home Squirrel. You’re Drunk!

Alright…so I’m back from helping out a friend who had surgery two weeks ago.  I left the place in the capable hands of co-blogger Proof thinking that he would “site-sit” while I was away and what do I find?  The header to my blog has been changed to inform readers that Political Clown Parade now has more testosterone and pirates!  And it’s no coincidence that Proof managed to acquire an almost identical header.

I suspect Proof, who was given the keys to the liquor cabinet in my absence, threw in with renowned scalawag Grunt of Monte Cristo and Earl of Taint in a feeble attempt to hijack the place.

What evidence do I have?  Grunt left clues in the comments section saying, “I think we're really going to have to follow through on our threats this time, Proof. I've been holding back with that substitute PCP header featuring Curmudge wearing nothing but latex, but this might be the time to go all in.

When I opened the door I found the floor littered with liquor bottles and empty beer cans and peanut shells all over the floor.  Then a topless maid service showed up to clean up the mess.  They said Proof gave them a call and charged my credit card.  Damn son!

What has four wooden legs and hangs out at the bar at my place?  If you answered a barstool, you’ve apparently never partied with a pack of pirates.  While Proof is not a well-known pirate like Captain Kidd, Henry Morgan or Blackbeard he fancies himself a yellow beard with black boots.  He surmises that if, as the saying goes, blondes have more fun then blonde pirates are certain to have a shipload more fun.

In this screen grab from the security camera strategically positioned at Casa de Curmudgeon’s bar, you can see “Yellowbeard with Black Boots” enjoying some 25-year-old scotch incessantly repeating the words “Aargh” and “Matey” to one of the sinister squirrels that plaques me.

The war I have waged against the vermin horde of squirrels has suffered a setback because Proof let those bushy-tailed bastards get drunk with him.  I’ll get you for this Proof!

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