Lanny Must Be Pleased

A giant rat got stuck inside a hearing of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform.  It struggled mightily to free itself.

Democrat animal rescuers was dispatched to liberate the rat writhing in ignominy when it became clear it could not free itself from a gap in the sewer cover.

Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH), ranking member of the Committee, was the epitome of an angry prosecutor as he verbally disemboweled the rat.

Jordan argued in his opening statement, “I want everyone to think about this: Michael Cohen, the first announced witness for the 116th Congress, is a guy who’s going to prison for lying to Congress. Mr. Chairman, you will always be identified with this hearing and we all need to know what this is.  This is the Michael Cohen hearing presented by Lanny Davis.  That’s right. Lanny Davis choreographed the whole thing, the Clintons’ best friend, loyalist, operative.  Lanny Davis put this all together.  He said the hearing was his idea, he selected this hearing, he had to talk Michael Cohen into coming and most importantly he had to persuade the chairman [Elijah Cummings] to actually have it.”

“I’ll say one thing about the Democrats, they stick to the playbook. So now, Clinton operative Lanny Davis has persuaded the chairman of the Oversight Committee to give a convicted felon a forum to tell stories and lie about the United States so that they can all lie about their impeachment process.”

Everything you need to know about Cohen’s testimony is sitting behind him: Lanny Davis. This is about revenge for Clinton’s 2016 loss in 2020. pic.twitter.com/i84Ks8Pttt

— Katie Pavlich (@KatiePavlich) February 27, 2019

The rat’s legal team includes Michael Monico, partner in the Chicago law firm Monico & Spevak, who practices high-stakes white collar litigation.  Monico told WGN’s The Roe Conn Show he is representing Empire star Jussie Smollett.

Attorneys spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.  They thrive on attention; just like a child.

Cohen will surrender to federal authorities on May 6 to begin his three-year sentence for lying to Congress in Otisville Federal Correctional Institution.  Forbes magazine ranked it as one of America’s “Ten Cushiest Prisons”.  It’s been referred to as a “castle behind bars.” 

Rep. Jordan ans Rep. Meadows are referring Michael Cohen to the Justice Department on allegations he lied during his testimony yesterday. They wrote a 30-page letter to AG Barr outlining several statements they say were false https://t.co/XGAPP9Lryw pic.twitter.com/IrFaOubRRk

— Christal Hayes (@Journo_Christal) February 28, 2019

As Andrew Klavan humorously wrote, “I sit before you today as a man who pled guilty to lying to Congress under oath—to testify to Congress under oath that I am not lying this time but lied last time—unless I’m lying this time too in which case forget I said anything.”

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Bad Blue Uncensored News.  We’re glad you’re here and we thank Doug Ross for linking to this post.

Cankles Has Fallen

Jonah Goldberg painted captivating images in his article this past Saturday at National Review.  He imagines the veteran grifters of Team Clinton:  Lanny Davis “in the middle of a meeting with an African dictator when, suddenly, his assistant hands him a note.”  Upon reading the note, which simply read “Cankles Is Down”, Davis abruptly terminates the meeting declaring, “The Clintons need me.” 

Goldberg then directs us to the banks of a bayou where James Carville, who has caught a catfish, proceeds to devour its entrails in the manner of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Gollum.  His snack is interrupted by a signal flare.  He knows instantly its meaning.  Quickly, he steps into his waiting limousine which speeds him to an MSNBC studio.  Meanwhile the other gutter rat, David Brock, “slinks out of his leather onesie” racing to his command center barking orders, “This is a level-one Alpha scenario.  Cancel all leave.”

Goldberg was, of course, thinking of action movies where grizzled old pros get together one last time to spin furiously as their dowager queen rapidly sinks in the quicksand of scandal.

Goldberg continues to posit, ”For 30 years, Hillary Clinton has been defensive bordering on paranoia (with occasional forays far over the border). For 30 years, Hillary Clinton has responded to every challenge—not just every scandal, but every challenge (like HillaryCare)—by convening huge task forces of loyalists."

We now know that Cankles’ Emailghazi troubles are just beginning as we learn that a State Department whistleblower told The Daily Signal a “boiler-room operation” was set up to hide documents after Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others attached to the CIA complex in Benghazi perished in a hail of gunfire and mortar rounds.

As one commenter noted, this movie will be a “popcorn bonanza.”

UPDATE:  Dvorak News broke the news today that the former Secretary of State used MX Logic, a spam filtering service now owned by McAfee that had full access to all her classified State Department email in unencrypted form.  It could be read, tapped, archived or forwarded to anyone in the world without anyone ever knowing.