Hi Yo Silver! Weiner Checks Into Witness Relocation Program

Anthony Weiner is supposed to be without his cellphone at a “secluded sex recovery ranch” in Tennessee which caters to “addled well-heeled” clientele according to The New York Post.

After plunking down a cool $25,000 for the 35-day program, according to online reviews, the disgraced dad still has to make his own meals and clean up after himself.

Participants get daily group therapy. In addition to riding a horse at least once a week, they also get plenty of other physical activity such as rope-climbing, zip-lining, hiking and canoeing, as well has having access to a gym.

***Last night Weiner felt a burning sensation while urinating. Never has anyone switched faster from the Samsung Galaxy to the iPhone.

NOTE FROM OUR ATTORNEY:  The last paragraph is purely fiction.  It was the excuse I needed to create the above Photoshop™.

Carlos Danger spent Friday morning getting a dose of "equine therapy" for his sex addiction https://t.co/T2OdbXngfJ pic.twitter.com/J5opoAXD2N

— New York Post Metro (@nypmetro) November 4, 2016

@nypmetro @nypost Uh oh...Weiner knocks up horse and..... Weiner Jr. pic.twitter.com/M6VkTmVINU

— Michael DeGiovine (@mdegiovine_sr) November 4, 2016

Free Advertising

"Las Vegas magnate Shelley Adelson gave $25 million to help Trump win Sunday. The Democrats responded. For all the trouble Hillary’s had due to lewd behavior by Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner, she was just endorsed by Johnson and Johnson in gratitude for the free advertising." — Argus Hamilton

It's Hard To Imagine A Worse Time For This To Have Dropped On Granny's Head

Hillary And Huma: The Panic Room

Listen, folks! Hillary Clinton can't step aside now. It would really anger the countries that've already paid for special favors.

— Josh Earnst (@NotJoshEarnest) October 31, 2016

“Ugh. These e-mails. Underwear pic, underwear pic, nude, underwear - wait… WTF is that?”
“That, my fellow agent, is classified information.” pic.twitter.com/zqNMijFiUk

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) October 28, 2016

Curmudgeonly Cartoons: The Cocktober Surprise

Interviewed by @jdickerson for @FaceTheNation, @VP says @HillaryClinton didnt understand "the gravity" of setting up own e-mail system. pic.twitter.com/abIZ1f0kvO

— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) October 28, 2016

Mean Tweets: DickiLeaks

#SchlongerTogether pic.twitter.com/Y79reaqGTk

— James Woods (@RealJamesWoods) October 28, 2016

"#Abedin herself was often responsible for overriding security & diplomatic protocols on behalf of Clinton.” #FBIhttps://t.co/Eo04HriDrD

— CounterJihad (@CounterJihadUS) October 28, 2016

Hillary's campaign calls on Director Comey to release whatever new info he has. Unless it's really bad, in that case go ahead and burn it

— Josh Earnst (@NotJoshEarnest) October 28, 2016

Sounds like it's time for Bill Clinton to once again board Loretta Lynch's jet.

— Razor (@hale_razor) October 28, 2016

We are now getting word that Hillary has just smashed Anthony Wiener with her hammer.

— WH PRESS SECRETARY (@weknowwhatsbest) October 28, 2016

Anthony Weiner is Sexting Again...