Saturday, April 25, 2020

Saturday Satire

I have a confession to make to our readers.  I have been preoccupied with a group of tweeters known as Smug Minions.  Out of the blue on March 5th, I was approached to join a group of Twitter trolls aligned with conservative @ComfortablySmug.  I have spent a lot of time getting to know as many minions as I can.  On Wednesday, I participated in the very first online #TopMinionTrivia game.  There were six rounds of ten questions each.  Nearly all of the questions were impossible to Google.  You either knew the answer or you didn’t.  The final round was a series of 12 screenshots from iconic movies where the image was reversed and the faces of the characters were completely removed from the picture.  The team I was on came in 7th out of 13 teams.  It was bunches of fun.
You see the little hat on the minion pictured above?  I came across a tweet two weeks ago for that cool hat and I just had to have it.  The mailman delivered it to me yesterday. It’s badass and all the cool kids want one now.

It features an array of four battle ribbons:  Maintaining Wi-Fi Connection, Corona Survival, Hand Sanitization and Toilet Paper Shortage Survival. 


With the so-called bombshell video that surfaced about Creepy Joe Biden’s alleged sexual assault of Tara Reade, another piece of the puzzle came to light as well.  If you ever wondered what Joe was really doing in those photographs where he is seen burying his face in women’s hair, wonder no more!
This week’s ‘Rona Rallies have been especially brutal for lefty journos who’ve attended the White House Taskforce briefings.  Trump savaged each one mercilessly.


When President Trump discussed UV lighting as a way to fight the COVID-19 virus on Thursday, the press poodles went apeshit crazy claiming the President’s followers would rush to stores to buy Lysol™ to inhale as a way to combat the virus.  This prompted the basement-dwelling Biden to tweet his admonition and so did Granny Clinton.  I couldn’t let that go.
In an Oval Office ceremony on Friday, the President signed legislation providing $484 billion to replenish a popular small business lending program and support hospitals and COVID-19 testing amid the coronavirus pandemic.  It was during the ceremony that pool reporters gave him a ration of shit over his comments from the day before.

He told reporters he was being “sarcastic” when he appeared to ponder the idea of disinfectant injections as a way of combating the Chopsticky Sicky disease. The manufacturers of Lysol™ issued a public statement declaring, “As a global leader in health and hygiene products, we must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route).”

WTF? Do they picture us standing on line at the store with toilet bowl cleaner, Swiffer WetJet refills, mildew remover, grout whitener and roof sealant just in case the President suggests one of those products will treat the Chinese virus?  Get a grip people.


The Democrat Media Complex is always at the ready to criticize the Trump Administration and this week they pushed fake news about a labradoodle dog breeder Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar assigned to be his Chief of Staff.  They said he was tapped to head the day-to-day government response to COVID-19.  That was a damned lie.

The Dallas Morning News called them out on it saying, “Brian (Harrison) was a no-brainer pick.  His private sector experience is irrelevant…he was a completely known commodity who had extensive experience.”

He’s been in government service since 2006 working in the Bush Administration in both the Department of Defense and HHS. He’s been in the Trump Administration since 2018.


And finally…
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