Sunday, March 1, 2020

Congratulations Uncle Joe! Are You Going To Disney World?

Mere seconds after the big hand was on the 12 and the little hand was on the 7, the moment the South Carolina polls officially closed, all the networks and cable news outfits projected a wobbly Joe Biden the winner in the First in the South primary.
Uncle Joe surpassed Comrade Bernie in the popular vote in the Democratic primary by a landslide. 
Sanders acknowledged Biden’s victory at a campaign rally in Norfolk, VA saying, “I want to congratulate Joe Biden on his win tonight, and now we head to Super Tuesday!”

It’s easy for one to imagine a thought bubble hovering over Bernie’s head with the words, “It took you three decades to finally win one stinking primary.  I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog too!”

Tom Steyer and his hideous plaid tie got out of the clown car last night and ended his candidacy.

Pocahontas, emulating Custer’s Last Stand with her fifth-place finish, is staying in the race.  She proclaimed, “I’ll be the first to say that the first four contests haven’t gone exactly as I’d hoped…our campaign is built for the long haul.”  She’s 1/1024th right.

The woman from the frozen tundra of Minnesota who eats a salad with a comb refuses to see the writing on the wall.  Speaking at a rally in North Carolina, Klobuchar defiantly declared she has no intention of dropping out before Super Tuesday.  She has trailed every single candidate except Tulsi Gabbard.

Alfred E. Buttigieg, who back in May of last year said, “America was never as great as advertised” admitted running for president is “an exercise in hope and humility.”  In his case, it’s more like an exercise in despair and humiliation.

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