Thursday, November 8, 2018

Cocaine Mitch Sends His Regards

The notorious RBG, who is recuperating at George Washington University Hospital after fracturing three ribs in her office Wednesday night, was not in attendance at today’s Supreme Court Ceremonial Investiture of Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

They’re fitting her for bionic ribs in an effort to extend her lifespan.  Democrats may have to laminate her if they don’t want to cede ground on the Supreme Court or they’ll have to run a stealthy ruse for the entirety of Trump’s presidency.

Someone may need to be tasked with lining Ginsburg’s office with pillows.

People, especially really stupid younger people, were offering the octogenarian their own ribs on social media starting the hashtag #RibsForRuth on Twitter.
Many of the judges of the US Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit were in attendance including Judge Merrick Garland who was nominated to the Supreme Court in 2016 by The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer. Garland was not given a confirmation hearing or a Senate vote.  The seat vacated by Justice Antonin Scalia’s death remained open for more than a year so the new president could fill the vacancy.

Sitting several rows ahead of Garland was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell with his wife Elaine Chao.  Also in attendance was Sen. Lindsay Graham and White House Counsel Don McGahn.

President Trump and First Lady Melania were seated in the front row alongside retired Justice Anthony Kennedy who Kavanaugh succeeds on the bench.

Kavanaugh accuser, Christine Blasey Ford, is still being harassed, her lawyers say. She's reportedly had to move four times. She's had to pay for a private security detail. And she hasn't been able to return to her job at Palo Alto University.  Bless her heart.

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