Will Wooly Mammoth Flatulance Affect Global Warming?

Something stinks in Siberia. It isn't Putin plotting to overthrow the next Presidential election. No. It's a massive, foliage-chomping, methane pumping, fecal dumping machine that is being assembled by scientists who have no idea that they should do it, but are doing it anyway …. because they can.

Where have we heard this before?

Imagine being face-to-face with a woolly mammoth. It would be quite a sight. Scientists believe it would tower at 11 feet tall. The woolly mammoth would have a sloped back, a long, powerful trunk, and sharp, curved tusks that stretch up to 10 feet. Its thick hair would be up to three feet long. It would weigh six tons—about as much as a bus.

Actually now that I've had a chance to think about it (and I haven't had lunch yet) these bus-sized burger providers just might be delicious.

Pleistocene McMammoth employees working the counter.

You’ve probably never seen a giant furry elephant before. Actually, you definitely haven’t. The species has been extinct for thousands of years. But a few years from now, you might be able to see a woolly mammoth for yourself. Scientists believe they have the technology to re-create one.

Japanese and South Korean scientists are working with Russian refrigerator technicians to clone wooly mammoths and other extinct Pleistocene creatures from frozen carcasses dug up in Siberia.

They are long past their expiration date but still tasty.

There could even be a Siberian Pleistocene Park open for tours in another ten years or so featuring long dead creatures such as huge mammoths, ferocious cave lions, old nasty horses and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

I can't wait to see the news stories about tourists getting trampled, eaten or torn apart by creatures that God decided to get rid of a long time ago.