Friday, June 27, 2014

Please Don’t Feed The Animals

MINNEHAHA PARK—The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer spoke to a handpicked contingent of bored, phone-gazing millennials on Thursday.

“Let me tell you something, I’ve been really looking forward to getting out of D.C.,” TWMDCO said. “Our agenda’s still a little loose. You know I might pop in for some ice cream or visit a small business. I don’t know.  I always tease them [the Secret Service] I’m like a caged bear and every once in a while I break loose.  I’m just going to make it up as I go along.  I’m feeling super loose today.  So you don’t know what I might do. You don’t know what I might do.  Who knows?”

In the deep recesses of his narcissistic mind comparing himself to a caged bear connotes a fearsome creature, but to the rest of us poor schmoes all we envision is a pitiful creature relegated to wearing silly ruffles riding a ridiculously undersized tricycle.

Vladimir Putin, Bashar al-Assad, Hamid Karzai, Kim Jong-Un, ISIS and all the other bad actors in the world see him in ruffles too.

Today, Clinton “mechanic” George Stephanopoulos poked at the caged bear declaring that the American public doesn’t support his foreign policy.  “George,” the ruffled tricycle-riding laughingstock chuckled, “there’s going to be times when the world is messy.”

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