We Live In Incredibly Stupid Times

Is there anything more pathetic than ESPN imagining people would be offended by an Asian-American play-by-play announcer named Robert Lee calling a football game between the Virginia Cavaliers and the Tribe of William and Mary? 

No.

Dave Weekley will call the UVa-W&M contest while General Lee will call the play-by-play for the Youngstown State-Pitt game on ESPN that day instead.

It’s time for God to flood the earth again.

ESPN's statement on Robert Lee no longer calling the game between #UVa and W&M pic.twitter.com/jxg2Oeed8g

— Eric Hobeck (@eric_hobeck) August 23, 2017

"Well, shit." - Buford Jebidiah Beauregard Yamamoto tearing up his sports journalism degree

— Cuffy (@CuffyMeh) August 23, 2017

God I hope there was a confederate general named Dick Vitale

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 22, 2017

This might be the wokest head eating the tail moment I've ever seen https://t.co/t7btsp7lyc

— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) August 22, 2017

In related news: Ford stopped making Lincolns as they vaguely remember a guy named Lincoln was somehow involved with Civil War. #PublicEd

— gab.ai/DrSchmalz (@DrSchmalz) August 23, 2017

Don’t tell ESPN about Lee Jeans, the official denim of confederate generals.

— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) August 23, 2017

Articles Of Impeachment?

Disney announced its quarterly earnings and ESPN's income declined 11% compared to last year. The drag on earnings and revenue from ESPN led to a quarterly miss of estimates for ESPN's parent company Disney.  Fortunately for Disney the company has made smart strategic moves in other arenas—buying Pixar, Star Wars, and Marvel among others—that have helped to defray the coming collapse of ESPN. 

ESPN is losing millions of subscribers and viewers that add up to billions of dollars a year in losses and is on the hook for tens of billions of dollars in sports rights costs in the years ahead.

Per Nielsen's most recent estimates ESPN now has 87,859,000 cable and satellite subscribers. That's a loss of over 13 million cable and satellite subscribers in the past several years, costing ESPN in the neighborhood of $1.3 billion dollars per year.

The network is in panic mode and desperate for relevance since its decision to become a social justice warrior network. ESPN has become MSESPN. 

According to The Washington Post, the network reached out to President Trump’s staff inviting him to fill out a bracket on camera, just as The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer had the past several years. The network recently received word that Trump declined. An ESPN spokesman said in a statement: “We expressed our interest to the White House in continuing the presidential bracket. They have respectfully declined.”

Andy Katz, the ESPN basketball analyst who conceived the idea, would have been disappointed if President Trump had accepted the offer.  He would have entered AMERICA in every bracket.

In other sports news, New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft said his Super Bowl Champion players are free to go to the White House to celebrate, or not.  Last week six members of the team joined Hillary Clinton among the people who won’t be going to the White House.

@washingtonpost Dont worry. Im sure @CNN will go wall to wall with Former Pres. Obama announcing his bracket.

— America Wins! (@stormchasn) February 16, 2017

Well we now know the first charge that will be on the Dem's Articles of Impeachment. https://t.co/g6NoEQl3UP

— (C)ody Penn-Dent (@codypd) February 15, 2017

The Trophy Generation

There are currently 35, yes, 35 bowl games being played post-season which began on December 21^st and culminates in the BCS National Championship game on January 6, 2014 featuring Florida State versus Auburn.

There must be at least 27 bowls games in which both teams are embarrassed to be seen there.  Nothing says honor like playing in a bowl game sponsored by mini corndogs and beer battered onion rings.  I refer, of course, to the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl.

Two minutes after the game is over you can’t remember which team won.  You might as well name these contests between mediocre athletes/teams “The We Scraped Together (Pick A Number) Wins By Scheduling Cupcakes In Our Non-Conference Schedule Bowl.”  It’s got a nice ring to it and it rolls trippingly off the tongue to boot.

If you, like I, think that 35 bowl games is just a tad too many you would be wrong.  The BCS commissioners and ESPN/Disney (show me the money) decided to add three more bowl games in 2014:   The Camellia Bowl, The Miami Bowl and The Boca Raton Bowl.

Oh joy, the mediocrity is just too underwhelming.  I like football as much as the next person but, crikey, this is overkill.  I know the students, the players and their parents care about these lackluster contests, but the rest of us just care about the Top Ten teams.

Why can’t we just make it about recognizing the true champions instead of giving everybody who ever played on a field anywhere in America a cupcake trophy just for participating?

Absurd.