Thursday, December 5, 2019

Breaking: Easter Island Head Guy Endorses “Sleepy” Joe Biden

The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer’s Secretary of State, John Kerry, threw his support behind Joe Biden’s presidential campaign saying the former vice president is “uniquely the person running for president who can beat Donald Trump” in 2020.

“I believe Joe Biden is the president our country desperately needs right now, not because I’ve known Joe so long, but because I know Joe so well,” said the Democrat Party’s 2004 failed presidential nominee.

“I’ve never before seen the world more in need of someone who on day one can begin the incredibly hard work of putting back together the world Donald Trump has smashed apart.”

Kerry is expected to join Biden on his bus tour in Iowa on Friday before traveling to New Hampshire on Sunday.  No word yet whether James Taylor will serenade voters on the campaign trail with a stirring rendition of “You’ve Got A Friend” as he did in Paris when he had to fill in for Barack Obama when he couldn’t make time to join mourning world leaders in that city following the radical Islamic terror attacks at the offices of Charlie Hebdo and a kosher grocery store.

Kerry thought he could sing his way out of the controversy.

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News.

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