You’ll Never Be This Cool

When Tesla unveiled its new pickup truck last Wednesday, critics blasted it as ugly and impractical.  Despite those criticisms, more than 200,000 people plunked down a $100 deposit to reserve a spot in line for the new vehicle.

The stripped-down model starts at $39,000 with a range of 250 miles while the high-end model has a range of 500 miles.  The $69,000 Cybertruck boasts three motors and can go from 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds.

Those folks, bless their hearts, think having a Cybertruck sitting in their driveway makes them cool.  They’ll still have to sit in traffic, deal with road rage and buy a new set of tires every so often.

They will never be as cool as the kid who ponies up for a landspeeder.

The X-34 landspeeder is built with a powerful repulsorlift engine which pushes against gravity augmented with three air-cooled thrust turbines capable of hovering up to a meter off the ground capable of speeds up to 250 kph.  Owners can choose from either an open-air or sealed cockpit.  The landspeeder can be fitted with blaster cannons.

There’s no need to look for charging stations.  No need to have a charging station installed for your home which can set you back up to $3,000.

Owning a landspeeder would quiet all the “woke” climate nazis too. The anti-gravity technology is created from subnuclear “knots” of space-time acquired from black holes giving them a range of 75,000 kilometers.

Elon Musk, eat your heart out.

I'm gunna tell my kids this is the tesla #Cybertruck pic.twitter.com/6XIoZAgacp

— Mark Smith (@mark_bril) November 22, 2019