Who is Jussie Smollett and Why Exactly Should I Care?

Jussie Smollett is allegedly an actor. Couldn't prove it by me. You'll forgive me if I don't post his picture. Jussie was allegedly the victim of a very unusual crime recently. It staggers the imagination. Really.

Jussie lives in Chicago, and says he was allegedly the subject of a racial and homophobic attack on his way back from a Subway restaurant. At 2:00 AM.

Okay! There''s at least a hint of plausibility there. The temperature was -21°. Plus whatever wind chill there was.. They call Chicago the "Windy City". I've been there. They're not lying. Personally I'd have to be pretty doggone hungry to go out for a sandwich at 2AM, when the temperature was -21°, and I had to walk to get there. I'd probably lick the picture on the Cheerios box before I'd go out for a sub in weather like that, but that's just me!

According to Jussie (think "Once upon a time"), he was on the phone with his agent when the attack occurred. Oddly enough, neither man would submit his phone to the police to be examined. Strange! He said that two men in ski masks, dressed in black, poured bleach on him, shouting "This is MAGA country!" and hung a noose around his neck.

Now, as the liberals say, "If true"... this would be a terrible thing. The police scoured all the available video and did come up with the two figures in the picture above. They are said to be "persons of interest", but not suspects, as the video above was captured 15 - 30 minutes before the alleged attack took place and they were moving away from where the attack took place.

"This is MAGA country!" I've never heard anyone outside of Twitter say anything like that, but if they did, would they say it in the very bluest city in one of the bluest states in the nation? Consider my credulity strained.

Oh, and the video they have of the victim show him moving out of the range of one camera and a minute later, into view of another, this time with a piece of rope around his neck, like a necktie. This might suggest that the entire "attack" took less than a minute, and afterwards, the victim casually strolled away without so much as a backward glance over his shoulder to see if his attackers might be in pursuit.

First thing, if it did happen, it would have to be premeditated. One doesn't typically stroll around the streets of a major metropolitan city carrying a bottle of bleach and a rope. And your plan involves standing outside in -21 degree weather, with a humongous wind chill factor on the outside chance you're going to find a black, gay liberal? At 2AM?? Heck of a plan, Brownie!

I'm told that household bleach freezes at around 18 - 19 degrees Fahrenheit. So, what? I pour bleach into a smaller bottle and keep it under my parka, to keep it liquid, hoping to heck that it doesn't leak, or splash back on my all black outfit when I douse my eventual target? Good plan! We'll call your black outfit with random bleach spots "Exhibit A" at your trial!

The reports don't say what the "victim" was wearing, but unless he's a complete moron, wouldn't he have most of his face covered? Ski mask, scarf, hoodie, wool cap...something to keep him warm? How then did these two geniuses identify him as the black, gay cast member of a TV show they may or may not watch?

I won't say there are holes in this guy's story. I won''t say there are holes in Swiss cheese. I'll just let the facts speak for themselves.