Sunday, December 3, 2017

College Football Playoff Selection Day: Crybaby Edition

With a blog titled Political Clown Parade you’d think I would post something relating to the scuzzy world of politics.  Not today. Nope. Not happening.
I spent my Saturday slopped up on the couch with tasty beverages and the customary snackeries required to watch the final weekend of college football before Selection Day.
As I said in my post yesterday, I was summoning the favor of the football gods for some help getting my beloved Alabama Crimson Tide into the College Football Playoffs.  I didn’t get any help from the Sooners and the outcome of the Clemson/Miami game would have made no difference.
Glimmers of hope began to overtake the crowd I had over for my slightly famous football couch-gating party.  The Jawja Bulldawgs beat the tiger crap out of Auburn.  War Eagle was plucked clean.  Nary a feather remains on the hapless foul.  I feel sorry for the wretched beast.  The weather is turning colder.  It must be embarrassing to be naked in public.
Whatever juju I had working carried into the Buckeyes/Badgers battle in the Big 10 Championship Game.  Urb’s boys had a “struggle win” against Bucky Badger.  Perfect.  I was rooting for them despite my loathing for Meyer and those Buckeyes.
I spent the morning cleaning up the tornado left from the couch-gate party and settled down to watch ESPN’s coverage of the Selection Committee’s final rankings.  The program began at noon, but the so-called “sports experts” babbled endlessly killing time until the Committee released the rankings.
Finally, 30 minutes later the rankings were tediously revealed one by one.  Clemson, Oklahoma, Georgia and…Ala-by-God-bama!
That last one sent crybaby Kirk Herbstreit into a bit of a tizzy and he walked off the ESPN set.  The crew laughed their fannies off and viewers saw an empty chair where Herbstreit had been sitting.  He couldn’t believe his alma mater had been snubbed.  It was like watching a Saturday Night Live skit, only funnier. 
The cavalcade of sports pundits repeatedly insisted Bama’s resumé was "deeply, deeply flawed..."  Oh really? It’s not as flawed as Clemson who lost to Syracuse or Ohio State who lost 55-24 to a 7-5 Iowa State.
"The losses matter," Herbstreit said. “But when you lose the way they did, it sent a message to the committee that they just couldn't forgive. It was like an anchor tied around that program that brought them down. It's incredible to think, with Wisconsin at No. 6, that we're going to have two teams in the top 10 that Ohio State beat. Probably better than anything Alabama had, and Ohio State is a conference champ. Yet still, the people in that room just liked Alabama better as a football team. That, with the loss to Iowa kind of balanced out Ohio State's resumé."
"This is the unfortunate era of college football that we're in, where we're splitting hairs," Herbstreit said. "Winning the Big Ten is a hell of an accomplishment, but they didn't jump off the screen like they did in 2014, when they just blew Wisconsin out in the Big Ten title game and you were like, 'How are you going to leave them out?' And Saturday's game didn't feel like that and I think that's what hurt them."
No shit Sherlock.
UPDATE:  I’m including this Funny Maine video of “How Bama Fans Watched The 2017 Conference Championships” because, well it’s FUNNY.  I love how he says, “We coming to New Orleans, Louisi-BAMA."

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