Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Thanksgiving Is Not A Good Day To Be Your Pants

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the official start of the holiday season and the reason gym memberships peak in the New Year.
Thanksgiving is intended to be about gratitude. Charles Manson is grateful he only had to serve one of his nine consecutive life sentences.
The rest of us are thankful for the feast of roasted turkey, cranberries in the shape of a can, the delectable stuffing crammed inside the poor bird’s carcass and, of course, glorious pies.
Even the dog knows Thanksgiving is a special day.  Sniffing for tidbits the other 364 days goes out the window.  It’s literally raining food:  peas roll off the plate, chunks of turkey go flying on the floor, gravy drips and somebody is always handing food under the table.  
Everybody knows the bird isn’t the only thing getting stuffed for Thanksgiving.  That’s why you need fat pants.  Amirite?
Forget about unbuttoning and unzipping your pants or letting out your bathrobe.  You can go in for that third helping of Sweet Potato Pie and avoid being embarrassed.  Behold, elastic Thanksgiving dinner pants with style.
To allow people to enjoy more of Thanksgiving in comfort and style, the Stove Top company has designed a pair of unisex maroon pants with an elastic waistband that can expand up to two times their original size. But that’s not all: The pants also feature an image of stuffing that rests right on top of your belly that only the brave can pull off.
Think I’m kidding? Stove Top had a limited supply through November 13th and they’re sold out.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Please pass the stuffing.

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